Drifting Further Away
by aupnaahh
Summary: Based 7 years after the season 5 premiere. Follows the life of Derek, Meredith and their daughter Abbey as they juggle their rocky marriage, their jobs and family life. Have a read and tell me what you think! Some Chapters Rated 'M' LATEST: Authors Note!
1. Introduction

_So I've decided to write this new Fic! It's something that has been playing on my mind now for a while. Here's a little info about it!_

_It's based 7 years after the season 5 premiere. So everything that happened before then and everything that's happening up until the point where Mer says yes (hopefully to Derek's proposal, even thought it hasn't happened yet!) has happened!_

_Its just gonna be a story about the troubles of marriage and family life between Derek, Meredith and their daughter._

_You'll find out more on the way! Here's the first chapter._

**XXXXXXX**

It was a cold wintry evening in the city of Seattle; it had begun to snow softly. Meredith lay in her bed looking out her window, as the world went by. It had been so peaceful ever since her roommates had moved out. Izzie and Alex had decided to take their relationship to the next level and moved out when Meredith found out she was pregnant. She lay there and gazed at the moonlight as it shined through her window. Suddenly her stare was interrupted by the sound of a soft cry.

"Mommy... Mommy... Mommy!" She heard the little voice blubber.

Meredith looked at her clock which read 3:35am before lifting herself tiredly from her bed. She made her way towards Izzie's old room and opened the door switching on the light.

"Hey Abbey. Hey, baby girl, what's the matter?" Meredith asked in a worried tone as she walked over to her daughter who was sitting up crying in her bed.

"I had a bad dweam" Abbey sniffled, as Meredith stroked her face.

"Aw, hey, hey it's ok mommy's here now, it's gonna be ok..." Meredith said as she ran her fingers through Abbey's fine strawberry blonde hair. "... Ok? Come here." Meredith continued as she placed her hands under Abbey's arms and lifted her from her pink duvet and onto her lap. "Do you want me to kiss it away?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, please" Abbey asked as she moved her face forward towards Meredith's.

"Mwa" Meredith said as she kissed the tip of Abbey's nose lightly "Better?" She asked

"Yes, thanks Mommy" She smiled.

"Ok, come here give me a hug" Meredith said as she wrapped her arms around her daughter. "Aw you're such a big girl"

"Really" Abbey replied holding onto Meredith

"Yeah, show me that big girl smile I love most." Meredith said to Abbey watching her as she curved her lips up slightly.

"...Ohh come on you can do better than that" Meredith giggled. Abbey grinned even wider showing Meredith her pearly white teeth.

"Ahh, there she is" She laughed before kissing Abbey on the forehead

"Ok give me a kiss and climb into bed" Meredith asked before kissing Abbeys puckered up lips.

"Mommy can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?" Abbey asked as she played with Meredith loose hair.

"Yeah sure baby" Meredith said as she stood up from the bed. "Come here" she continued as she held out her arms. "Don't forget Dooley" The moment Meredith mentioned Abbey's teddy bear, the little girl turned and picked up her bear before jumping into Meredith arms. "Ok, come on" Meredith said as she carried her daughter out of the room and headed down the hall.

"Ok get in" Meredith said as she placed Abbey into bed and walked back over to her side pulling back the covers, and reaching for her alarm clock.

"Mommy where's daddy?" Abbey asked with her little head poking out from the top of the duvet.

"He's working sweetie" Meredith answered setting down her alarm clock.

"Again?" Abbey asked as she moved closer to her mom.

"Yeah. But, he's off tomorrow and he's got a big surprise for you"

"Really? What is it?" She grinned

"Well if to go to sleep you'll find out tomorrow ok?" Meredith said as she wrapped her arm around Abbey.

"Ok mommy, good night, love you" She replied as she snuggled next to Meredith.

"Love you to baby, goodnight." Meredith replied as she sniffed the top of her beautiful daughters head, before drifting off to sleep.


	2. Where Are You?

The next morning Meredith lay in her bed sound asleep when she was suddenly woken by a tickling feeling on the back of her neck. She turned around to find her daughter watching her.

"Abbey, are you watching me sleep?" Meredith laughed gazing into Abbey's green eyes.

"No, I'm playing with your hair" Abbey giggled "It's really soft, and smells pretty." She continued

"Really?" Meredith asked as she swept a piece of hair from Abbey's face.

"Yeah" Abbey replied

"Ok Ladybug, let's get you into the bath..." Meredith said as she lifted herself out of bed "...Come on" she continued picking Abbey up and carrying her to the bathroom.

Once Meredith had bathed and changed Abbey they made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Ok baby, sit down at the table and I'll get you you're breakfast ok?" Meredith said as she made her way over to the fridge.

"Ok Mommy" Abbey replied climbing onto a chair.

"Ok here you go" Meredith said handing Abbey a bowl of cereal.

"Mommy?" Abbey mumbled with a mouth full of food.

"Abbey no talking with your mouth full." Meredith reminded her as she took a seat at the table.

"Sorry..." Abbey apologised before gulping down her mouth full of food "...Is daddy home with my surprise yet?" She asked

"No baby he's not here" Meredith replied before putting down her coffee and stroking the top of Abbeys head.

"Oh, is he still working?" she said looking a Meredith with sorrowed eyes

"Yeah I think so. Tell you what why don't we give him a call huh?" Meredith smiled

"Yeah, yeah" Abbey replied grinning.

"Ok" Meredith stood up and lifted the phone from the receiver before dialling Derek number

"Is he there?" Abbey asked as she jumped of her chair and sat on Meredith lap.

"No it's just ringing...here listen" she replied as she moved the phone to Abbey's ear, suddenly someone picked up.

"_Hello"_

"Daddy!" Abbey shouted down the phone

"_Hi baby, you ok?" Derek asked _

"Yeah, have you finished work? Mommy said you have a surprise for me" she asked as her tiny hair gripped the phone

"_Ah yes baby I do but I don't know if I can give it to you today I'm really busy at work" Derek replied_

"Oh ok" Abbey sighed

"_Tell you what, I'll have a word with Uncle Richard, and see if I can get home early ok?"_

"Ok" Abbey said before handing the phone to Meredith

"Hi" Meredith spoke down the phone

"_Hey, listen I'm about to go into surgery I can't talk right now" Derek said_

"Abbey sweetie why don't you go in play in the living room, mommy's going to have some grown up talk with daddy." Meredith asked while lifting Abbey of her lap.

"Ok" Abbey replied before running out of the room

"No Derek. You are going to listen to me. It's you're day off today, and you are supposed to watch her. I have a shift at 9"

"_Just take her to day care and I'll pick her up after my surgery ok"_

"Derek we really need to talk, this is getting ridiculous, your never home anymore." Meredith said raising her voice.

"_Meredith I don't have time for this I need to scrub in, we will talk tonight ok?" Derek said_

"Fine..." there was a moment of silence between them both.

"_Ok then, I love you" Derek said breaking the silence_

"Yeah, I love you too" Meredith said annoyed. The phone suddenly went dead and she placed it down on the table before standing up and walking out of the kitchen.

"Abbey grab your coat" Meredith yelled.

**XXXXXXXX**

20 minutes late for work Meredith finally walked through the doors of Seattle Grace Hospital. As she rushed towards the elevator, she yelled back to her daughter who was wandering behind her

"Abbey come on hurry up" she yelled as she held the elevator door open for her daughter. As soon as Abbey stepped inside the doors close and she pressed the button for the floor in which day care was situated. As they stood there in hand and hand the doors open on the surgical floor. As people started to enter the elevator, Meredith suddenly noticed Derek standing at the nurse's station filling out a chart. She picked Abbey up and exited the elevator making her way over to Derek, with Abbey in her arms.

"Derek!" Meredith shouted

"Daddy!" Abbey shouted happily

Derek turned and smiled when he saw his two favourite girls making their way towards him

"Hi sweetie" Derek said as he took Abbey from Meredith's arms

He kissed Abbey on the cheek before leaning over to Meredith kissing her quickly on the lips

"Really Derek?" Meredith asked

"What?" he asked in return

"Look I'm late, and seeing as you're doing _nothing..._ Wait I thought you said you had a surgery?"

"I did..." Derek said as she pushed Abbey higher on his hip "...The patient crashed as soon as we put him under" Derek said smiling at Abbey when he noticed she was grinning at him.

"She's missed you" Meredith said as she pushed back a piece of hair from Abbey face.

Derek gave her a quick look of concern before they were both interrupted by the chief.

"Dr Shepherd" He interrupted.

"Yes" Meredith and Derek said simultaneously.

"Yeah" Abbey also replied

Derek suddenly looked at Abbey, with a slight frown.

"She's a Doctor this week Derek..." Meredith said "... Which you would know if you ever came home" She continued lowering her voice. Derek shot her quick frown before being distracted by the chief again.

"Yes, I meant Meredith, Dr Yang is looking for you." Richard said as he reached over and tickled Abbey.

"Yeah ok..." Meredith replied to the chief "Ok sweetie mommy will see you later ok? Love you" Meredith continued as she kissed her daughter head which rested on Derek shoulder.

"Love you too mommy" Abbey replied puckering up her lips wanting another kiss from Meredith. Meredith quickly kissed Abbey and made her way back towards the elevator.

"Is Meredith ok? You two seen a little..." The chief asked

"Yeah..." Derek replied, suddenly his pager went off. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at it.

"... Everything's fine. Erm can you...?" Derek said nodding towards Abbey who was still being held up on his hip.

"Yeah sure" the chief replied as Derek set Abbey down onto the floor

"Ok princess Uncle Richards gonna take you to day care ok, I'll see you later...." Derek said bending down to face level with Abbey. "... Ok?" he repeated as Abbey just stared at him.

"Fine" Abbey said as she walked to Richard before reaching up for his hand.

"Ok" Derek sighed before walking way.

**XXXXXXXX**

Meredith stared at her watch tensely before calling her patients time of death,

"Time of death is 14:39" She placed the paddles back down onto the crash cart and handed the patients chart to one of the interns which were assigned to her service for the day.

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd" One of the interns said to her as they made their way out of the patient's room.

"Yeah me too. You know she was one of my first patients as an attending, it never gets any easier. Ok can you break the news to the family and see if they want an autopsy. Don't forget they have just lost their daughter, be compassionate." Meredith said as she walked towards the attending lounge.

"Hey" Meredith said as she closed the door and walked over to the couch.

"Hey, you ok? You look pretty bummed" Cristina replied as he sipped on her coffee.

"I lost Danielle, my first real patient, who I operated on myself" Meredith sighed

"Have you spoken to her parents?" Cristina asked

"No! I've Turner to do it." She replied as she took Cristina's coffee from her hand

"Oh. How's happy family life?" Cristina asked taking the coffee back form Meredith.

"Abbey's fine, she's amazing actually." Meredith smiled

"Yuck" Cristina sounded out

"What?" Meredith said frowning at her.

"Ever since you had Abbey all you've gone all gooey and soft and disgusting"

"Having a child does that to you, she just makes me feel like I can do anything you know, she the best thing that's ever happened to me" Meredith said as a smile began to play on her face.

"Like I said yuck, wait I thought Derek was the best thing that happened to you?"

"Ha don't even get me started on Derek, lately he's just been, well an ass, he's never around, like ever. Now I kinda see why Addison cheated on him" Meredith mentioned as she opened a patients chart.

"MEREDITH!" Cristina yelled in shock.

"What? I mean I would _never_ cheat on Derek. Never! I love him, I do, and it's just sometimes I feel like I did when he chose his wife!"

"Depressed and hung-over?" Cristina joked

"No, alone. But then again I do have Abbey, she's the one who makes me wanna get out of bed in the mornings, she the once who keeps me sane!" Meredith said as she heard her pager go off. She took a quick glance at it before looking at Cristina in confusion.

"What? What is it? Good trauma?" Cristina jumped

"No it's day care! It's about Abbey. It's just before three Derek should have picked her up by now! I gotta go" Meredith said standing up before walking past Cristina and swiping her coffee from her once again and walking out of the room.

"Yeah thanks" Cristina said waving her hand which once occupied her coffee.

**XXXXXX**

Meredith rushed to the daycare center as fast as she could. As soon as she got there she looked through the window and noticed that Abbey was sitting on a chair away from the other children. Meredith frowned and walked through the doors and made her way over to Katrina, the daycare manager.

"Hey, what's going on? I got paged" Meredith said

"Ok, Dr Shepherd I don't mean to alarm you but... Abbey got into a little fight with one of the other children" Katrina said while placing her hand on to Meredith arm trying to reassure her.

"What, no Abbey would not do that, are you sure" Meredith replied peering over her shoulder looking at her daughter sitting alone.

"Yes I am, I saw it. Freddy the other child is ok, I think he was just I little bit startled is all." Katrina said as she rubbed Meredith arm.

"I don't understand why she would do that, I mean she never hits anyone" Meredith said in confusion.

"Well she did seem a little agitated this morning after Dr Webber dropped her off"

"Dr Webber?" Meredith asked

"Yeah, he dropped her off" Katrina replied

"Are you sure?" said asked

"Yes it's all written down in the log book, here look..." Katrina said handing the book to Meredith "... Abbey Shepherd was dropped off at 9:25am by Dr Webber... Look Meredith I don't know what's going on but I think you should have a talk with her. Because over the past few weeks she's not been herself. And I totally agree with you when you say that this is not Abbey normal behaviour, has something happened at home or anything that could of triggered this change?" Katrina continued.

Meredith just sighed and handed the book back to Katrina

"Look I'll talk to her and find out what's going on, I'm so sorry tell Freddy's parents that I'm so sorry about this." Meredith said as she turned around

"Yes of course, and Meredith" Katrina stopped her "I think it's best if you don't bring Abbey here for a few days you know until everything's blown over. I think it's just too much for her" Katrina said before giving Meredith a sympathetic smile and walking away.

Meredith just nodded and walked over to Abbey. Abbey looked up at Meredith as she knelt before her with a cross look on her face.

"Hey baby" Meredith said placing her hands on Abbey knee's. Abbey said nothing and turned her head to look out of the window. "Come on" Meredith as she picked Abbey up from the chair, and attached her to her hip. Meredith walked over Abbey's tiny cubby and grabbed her coat and bag. As they made their way to the door Katrina called for Meredith

"Don't forget these. We have to children draw pictures after nap time, these are Abbey's" She said handing Meredith a bunch of pictures.

"Thanks" Meredith said before taking the pictures and walking out of the room.

**XXXXXXX**

Meredith walked to the nearest on call-room and opened the door, she held it open for Abbey as she walked inside. Closing the door behind them Meredith turned on the light and sat on the bed.

"Abbey come sit here" Meredith said as she patted the empty space next to her. Abbey never made eye contact with Meredith she just climbed on to the bed and sat in front of her.

Meredith smiled as she stroked Abbey's fine shoulder length hair.

"Abbey, Abbey look at me, Abigail look at me" Meredith said sternly "What's going on baby, this isn't like you, tell me what's up" she more softly.

Abbey turned to face her, and Meredith could see that her eyes had started spill steady tears. "Honey its ok... Sh, sh, sh, sh... " Meredith spoke as she took Abbey in her arms and lifted her on to her lap to cradle her. She began to rock her daughter back and forth, when she heard her say something.

"What was that? Shh it's ok..."Meredith said as she pulled away and wiped the tears from Abbey's eyes "its ok use your words, come tell me what's wrong"

"Daddy doesn't love me" She sobbed

"What of course he loves you, what makes you think that?" Meredith said wiping her face with her fingers to wipe away Abbey's tears.

"Because he never wants to play with me and he never comes home to see me."

"Baby you know he would if he could. It's just his job is very hard and it's very important to him. But not as important as you are." Meredith said as she played with Abbey's tiny fingers

"Really?" Abbey asked

"Yes you're his favourite girl in the world, no one is more important to him than you."

"Well what about you and grandma?" Abbey asked

"Hahha. Well we're his second favourite, but YOU..." Meredith said tapping Abbey lightly on the nose with her finger "... Missy are his number 1" Meredith said smiling at her. "And as for hitting people, Abbey you know that wrong. I thought I taught you better than that." Meredith continued.

"I know, I'm really sorry, I won't ever do it ever, ever, ever again" Abbey smiled

"Promise?"

"Promise mommy" Abbey replied holding out her little arms for a hug

"Well ok then, come here" Meredith said as she embraced Abbey in her arms.

"Oh, I have an idea" Meredith said smiling

"What? What? We're not going to dance it out again are we?" Abbey giggled

"No, we're not..." Meredith laughed as she tickled Abbey "Do you want to go see what daddy does when he's at work?"

"You mean when he's fixing people?" Abbey asked

"Yeah" Meredith replied

"Yeah, please" Abbey said with a big grin.

"Ok grab your stuff and I'll show you." Meredith said as she stood up and opened the on-call room door for Abbey.

**XXXXXX**

"Hey Izzie" Meredith said as she took a seat next to Izzie. She was the only person sitting in the Gallery above OR1

"Hey Mer..." Izzie smiled

"Mommy where can Dooley sit?" Abbey asked as she ran to Meredith side

"Abbey?" Izzie asked with confusion

"Aunty Izzie" Abbey shouted in excitement

"Hey you what are you doing here" Izzie said as she picked Abbey up and place her on her knee

"Well mommy said that I can watch daddy fix people" Abbey said smiling

"Did she really?" Izzie looked at Meredith and leaned towards her.

"Mer he's doing a craniotomy, are you sure Abbey will want to watch that?" She whispered in Mer's ear

"Well if she anything like me or he dad then she will" Meredith said grinning as she took Abbey teddy Dooley from her.

"Mommy when's daddy getting here?" Abbey asked

"Well..." Meredith started as she lifted Abbey from Izzie and onto her lap "... Ok, see down there?" Meredith said as she pointed down towards the OR

"Yeah" Abbey said

"You see that man with the funny light on his head at the top of the table?" Mere continued

"Yeah" Abbey said sounding pretty amused

"Well that's daddy" She said smiling before taking a quick glance at Izzie who was watching Abbey

"Really that's daddy? Is he fixing that person?" She said as she hopped off Meredith knee and walked over and placed her hands onto the glass

"Yeah" Meredith smiled "This is what he does all day when he's not at home."

"So he's fixing someone's brain?" Abbey asked

"Yep, that's what he's doing" Meredith replied

"Why what's wrong with it?" Abbey asked

"Well when it's not working properly, they come and find daddy and tell him what's wrong and then he fixes them and make them feel better" Meredith said as stood up from her chair and knelt beside her daughter.

"Oh, can he see me?" Abbey asked looking at Meredith

"Better than that why don't you talk to him?" She smiled as she stood up and lifted Abbey up onto her hip.

"Can I?" She asked widening her eyes, which she defiantly inherited from her father, if looks could kill!

"Yeah, look..." Meredith said as she walked Abbey over to the microphone on the wall "If you press that button there you can talk to him" She continued as she pointed at the button on the wall

"Daddy?" Abbey said as she pressed in the button

Derek look around the OR and suddenly looked up to find three women in the gallery, one was Izzie looking intently at the surgery below and the other two were standing at the other end of the gallery smiling at him.

"Hello you, what are you doing up there?" He asked as he smiled underneath his mask

"I'm watching you fix people ha-ha" Abbey giggled

"Yeah I can see that, have you been good today?"

"Erm..." Abbey suddenly looked at her mom giving her a guilty and back at Derek "Yes"

"Really yes?" He laughed

"Yes!" She giggled once more.

"Look baby I'm gonna be in here a while so why don't you and mommy take a walk or go to the cafeteria and I'll come find you afterwards ok?" He said as he continued to probe around in his patient's brain.

"No I want to watch you"

"Ok then" he laughed

Meredith placed Abbey down onto the floor and watched her run over to Izzie who helped her get onto a chair next to her.

"Mer?" Derek said before she walked away form he Microphone

"Yeah" she replied pressing the button once more

"If he codes take her out of the room ok?"

"Don't worry I've got it covered, Derek"

"I know you do" He said with a smile. Meredith knew he was smiling at her even with his mask on she could tell by the look in his eyes. She stood there for a moment before smiling back. She walked back over to Izzie and took a seat next to Abbey, and both continued to watch Derek ask he 'fixed people'

**So thanks for the comments they were really nice, real boost in my confidence. This was sort of just a little chapter about Abbey, so you guys can see what the relationship between Meredith and Derek is doing to Abbey don't worry though I don't want you guys to be scared off, things will get better between them, it's just gonna take some time. My butt has gone really sore now I haven't moved in two hours LOL! Anyways hope you like it!!**

**Please take the time to review they really my me smile!**


	3. Chained To The Couch

It was a cold night in Seattle, the sun had set hours ago and the Shepherd family had come home for the evening _together. _Meredith was sitting on the couch watching as Derek played with his daughter by the fire place, a scene that she had not witnessed for a while. As she watched Derek interacted with Abbey she felt a small twinge in her heart, something that she hadn't felt for a long time, _"The fairytale"_ she thought. From the day they had gotten married, life had seemed like such a fairytale. The fairytale that she had always dreamed of having the moment she fell in love with Derek, but somehow along the way, that feeling had been banished to the back of her mind and reality kicked in, she knew that she would have to work to keep their marriage like that fairytale she had dreamed of.

"Ok you, it's getting late time for bed" Derek said as he stood up and quickly moved Abbey into her face.

"Daddy don't mess up my hair, Izzie made it nice for me" She snapped suddenly

"Did she really?" he asked

"Yes, and now it's ruined" She said as she moved her hair out of the way

Derek and Meredith laughed at the sight of their daughter's hair which she had moved from her face, and now was sticking up in all places.

"Honey come here" Meredith said holding out her hand. Abbey made her way over to Meredith before standing in front of her. She moved her hand through Abbeys hair correcting the mess she created. "Better?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, thanks mommy" Abbey replied holding her arms out for a hug

"Ok big girl come here" Meredith said accepting the hug as she lifted Abbey onto her lap "Kisses. Mwa, mwa, mwa" Meredith as she pecked Abbey on the lips "Ok Daddy's gonna take you to bed now, I'll see you in the morning ok?"

""Yeah love you mommy" Abbey said with a huge grin on her face.

"Love you too sweetheart" Meredith as Abbey was lifted from her arm by Derek.

"Ok... Ahh there we go" Derek said as she lifted Abbey over his shoulder "Oh where's Abbey gone?" Derek asked sarcastically to Abbey as he hung her over his shoulder

"I'm here daddy" Abbey giggled as she was being carried by Derek.

Meredith stood up and followed them as they made their way through the hallway. As Derek carried Abbey up the stairs Meredith walked into the kitchen the grab herself a cup of coffee.

"Ok princess, I'll see you tomorrow ok?" Derek told Abbey as he tucked her into bed.

"Promise?" Abbey asked

"I promise, I've got the day off, and you still need to have that surprise I have for you" he said as she moved her hair from her forehead. "Ok so lie back" he said before kissing her forehead once more.

"Goodnight daddy, love you" Abbey said smiling.

"I love you too honey, sleep tight" Derek replied standing up before turning off her light and closing her door slightly, leaving a small gap a tiny line of light reflected onto her wall.

**XXXXX**

As Derek made his way to the bottom of the stairs he noticed that the front door was open slightly. He walked pasted the kitchen and living room and saw that Meredith was not in ether, so he walked outside and found her sitting on the swing underneath the window.

"Hey" Derek said as she stood in front of her,

"Hi" Meredith replied taking a slip of her coffee

"So you wanted to talk?" he asked

"Yeah, I do, we do!" she rephrased herself. She stood up and walked pasted Derek heading back into the house. Derek followed closing the door behind him and walked behind her into the kitchen.

Meredith placed her cup and in the sink and turned to find Derek standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Mer talk to me" He said finally

"Derek, I... I just don't understand why you are being like this." Meredith started

"Like what?" he asked

"You don't even see what you are doing to this family do you" Meredith said trying not to raise her voice.

"What I'm doing for this family? Meredith what do you think I'm doing..."

"... well I don't know!" she interrupted

"I'm making a life for us; I'm working my ass of all day to pay the bills and for Abbey and _**you**_"

"Me? Derek I don't need you to pay for me, I don't need your money, and don't turn this around on me. You have a little girl up there who loves you and who wants to be with you and what does she get? A couple of hours with you every week." Meredith begun to yell as she walked over to the table.

"Don't you think I want to spend time with her? She my daughter for god sake, she's my number one priority" he yelled back

"Ok and what about me? What am I to you Derek, am I someone you love or am I you're midlife crisis?"

"How can you say that you know I love you."

"Do you, really? I feel like I'm in this marriage alone Derek, like you're not in it, you're nowhere to be found and it scares me too death"

"Mer, marriage takes a lot of work, nobody said it was easy, and couples got through rough patches and they get over it and move on!"

"Yeah thanks for cleaning that up for me!" Meredith snapped. Derek noticed tears had begun to swell up in her eyes and he moved closer to her and placed his hand on her cheek.

"Yeah know what Derek, don't, just don't, I can't right now ok. Just... leave me alone" Meredith said trying to hold back the tears as she stormed out of the room and left Derek standing alone.

**XXXXXX**

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" Meredith heard a quiet voice whisper in her ear. She opened her eyes and felt Abbey resting her head against her shoulder.

"Hi, how long have you been up?" Meredith asked her daughter as she turned and sat up to look at her.

"No long. Where's daddy?" Abbey asked as she played with Meredith's fingers

"He's probably down stairs" Meredith said sounding distracted.

"Are you and daddy ok?" she asked as she shifted and straddled Meredith's waist

"Yeah, why honey?" Meredith replied brushing a stray piece of hair from Abbeys face.

"Because I heard you shouting last night" Abbey said lowered tone

"Aw baby it's ok mommy and daddy got into a little fight is all but we're better now. Did we scare you?" Meredith asked rubbing her hand up and down Abbey back.

"A little, but I'm ok now." She smiled

"Good" Meredith smiled back

"Don't be sad mommy..." Abbey said as she lifted her hand and placed it onto Meredith cheek

"... Daddy loves us remember" She continued with a big grin on her face.

"I know baby" Meredith said placing a kiss on Abbey's tiny lips

"I do" They both heard a familiar voice say

Meredith raised her head and saw Derek standing in the doorway.

"Hi" he said smiling at Meredith

"Daddy" Abbey said as she spun around

"Hi" Meredith replied

"Abbey, come here" Derek said as he waved Abbey to come over to him. She jumped off the bed and ran over to Derek who bent down to her level and whispered something in her ear.

"Ok daddy" she said loudly before smiling at Meredith and running out of the room

"What did you just tell her?" Meredith asked curiously

"Well Mrs Shepherd..." Derek said as he sat himself onto the bed in front of Meredith before kissing her tenderly on the lips "... Just wait" he said smiling as he lingered his face inches away from hers

"Daddy!" They heard a little voice shout

"You ok sweet?" he shouted back

"I need some help, pleeeasse"

"Ok, ok I'm coming" he said before kissing Meredith on the lips tenderly again.

As Derek exited the room Meredith sat in the bed frowning and wondering what mess Derek had gotten Abbey into.

"What is that?" Meredith laughed as she saw Abbey and Derek walking into the room carrying a huge bunch of flowers and a large teddy bear.

"Well, it's an apology" He smiled as he set the flowers down on the bedside table.

"Look I know it's not going to make fix everything right now but it's a start right?" he smiled leaning into kiss her, he pecked her quickly before kissing her again more tenderly

"Derek not in front of the baby." She laughed pushing him away

"Right sorry" he smiled

"Daddy finished kissing mommy now?"Abbey giggled,

"Yes sugar, I have" he said as he lifted her sitting her between him and Meredith.

"... and I have a surprise for you to remember?" Derek laughed

"What is it?" Abbey giggled

"Yes Derek what is it?" Meredith threw him a look

Derek reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope and handed it to Abbey

"Go on, open it" he smiled as he watched her open it

"Oh daddy, Cinderella" Abbey shouted

"Yeah I go us some tickets to watch Cinderella On Ice"

"Seriously Derek...?" Meredith gasped as she took a ticket from Abbey and begun to read it "... I tried to book this month's ago, there sold out how did you get these?"

"Well it helps if you have a patient that's married to the director of the play" he smiled

"What do you say Abbey?" Meredith said running her finger through Abbey hair

"Thank you" she giggled before moving to hug Derek

"You're welcome baby, now why don't you go get dressed and I think we can go tooo..." Derek paused "... Ahh... the zoo?" Derek laughed

"Seriously?" Abbey shouted

"Yes, we're did you get seriously from?" Derek asked

"Aunty Izzie, she says it all the time, he-he. Daddy hush now I'm going to get dressed, so finish kissing mommy and then take me to the zoo" she giggled before jumping off the bed and running out of the room.

"Did you hear that Dr Shepherd...?" Derek asked before leaning in and kissing her. Meredith moved her head to the side before Derek had the chance to catch her lips "Thanks for the flowers" Meredith said

"You're welcome" he replied sounding a little unhappy about the fact that she didn't let him kiss her.

"We still need to work this thing out, don't just think I'm letting it go that easily" she said as she looked at her clock "Crap I'm gonna be late for work, I gotta go..." she said as she lifted herself out of bed "See you later" she continued before grabbing her clothes from her chair and walking into the bathroom. Derek smiled and knew that he was slowly making it up to Meredith.

**XXXXX**

It was lunch time at Seattle Grace Hospital and Meredith, Cristina, and Izzie were all sat around the table eating their food.

"So Derek and I got into a fight last night" Meredith said while reading a magazine

"Seriously? What about?" Izzie asked

"He's just being an ass lately, and working too much to even pay attention to this family, seriously I think Abbey might forget who he is one day if he's not careful. And she heard us arguing last night."

"Is she ok?" Cristina asked

"Yeah I think so, Derek gave her some tickets to that Cinderella play that's showing next month, so that's all she can talk about." Meredith continued staring hard into her magazine

"Grey if you stare any harder you're gonna burn a hold in that thing" A voice said approaching the table.

"Hey" Izzie said

"Hi" Alex replied as she sat down

"So Liam's clothes are all packed and by the front door, you can pick him up whenever you want"

"Yeah thanks Alex"

"Oh yeah how is Liam? Sorry I forgot to ask" Meredith asked putting down her magazine

"He's fine" Alex said throwing a look at Izzie

"Yeah. Oh Mer I know why don't you get Derek to drop Abbey off at mine tonight. That way you guys can have a serious argument without making her cry? I mean it been so long since they have hung out together." Izzie asked

"Yeah that's a good idea Iz I'll call Derek and see what he thinks..." She replied before standing up from the table. "... Text you later?"

"Yeah, cya" Izzie replied.

**XXXXX**

Meredith walked into her house after a long day at work to find Derek collapsed out on the living room couch. She laughed to herself sarcastically before removing her coat and walking into the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of water and began to drink, when she suddenly saw Derek enter the room.

"You look tired" Meredith said with her glass around her mouth.

"Yeah the kid wore me out" He laughed as he opened the refrigerator for some food.

"Good. I guess now you know how I feel all day when you're not around" she shot back quickly before exiting the room. She walked up the stairs and peered into Abbey room which she found empty

"So you dropped her off at Izzie's then?" she yelled down to Derek

"Yes I did" Derek walking up the stairs to Meredith

"Are you working tomorrow?" Meredith asked

"Yeah. Are you?" Derek replied

"Yeah" she said

"Ok so we're gonna have to drop her off a daycare in the morning"

"Oh no we can't do that anymore" Meredith replied as she walked past Derek and headed into her bedroom

"What why?" Derek frowned following her

"Well because you're daughter now hit's other children, and she's been banned from daycare for a while"

"What when did this happen?" Derek asked

"Yesterday" She replied

"And why didn't you tell me? Did it just slip you mind?" He shouted

"Oh no Derek you were just too busy"

"Meredith, look I'm trying here ok, I'm trying to be the best that I can be, but I can't when you're down my throat all the time" he yelled

"I can't be here when you're acting like this" she yelled back

"Like what?"

"Like this, when you raise your voice to me. Derek all we ever do lately is argue, and it's affecting Abbey." She shouted

"How is it affecting her?"

"Well why do you think she's hitting people?" Meredith said

"Oh so you're blaming me for this?"

"Yes. Yes Derek I am. You take us for granted..." she said as she walked over to him "... You take us for granted and expected me to take, but I'm telling you now Derek if you continue this way, one day you might get home and Abbey and I may not be here. So think about that, and you can sleep on the couch" she yelled as she threw a pillow in Derek's face.

"Meredith?" Derek said as she begun to feel tears well up in the back of his eyes.

"Don't Meredith me with that McDreamy tone; it doesn't work on me anymore. Look I love you Derek I do, but right now... I just I can't. Close the door on your way out." She said as she watched Derek walk towards the bedroom door. She took in a deep sigh and turned to get changed for bed.


	4. I Will Show You Love

A week had passed since Meredith and Derek's fight. And the two of them were living in total silence. Derek had spent most of the week in the hospital, and if he wasn't sleeping in on-call rooms he would sleep on the couch at home. After his and Meredith's argument he realised that he was not spending time with his daughter as much as he would like. So when ever Meredith was working he would sneak into the daycare center and play with Abbey for an hour or two until he was paged away. The time was around 8:30pm and Meredith was at home alone with Abbey. She walked into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee and found Abbey sitting at the table surrounded by paper and crayons.

"Hey baby, whatcha doing?" Meredith asked as she picked up her coffee and sat next to Abbey at the table

"Drawing" Abbey said as she changed over crayons

"Oh, can I see?" Meredith asked smiling

"Yeah" Abbey grinned as she handed Meredith her picture "It's you and daddy and Dooley and me" she smiled

"It's really pretty" Meredith replied suddenly she heard the front door open and close and she peered over on her chair to see who it was

"Sweetie..." Meredith said stroking Abbey hair as she continued to draw her picture.

"Yeah" Abbey replied

"Daddy's home" Meredith smiled before Abbey jumped off her chair and ran towards Derek in the hallway.

"Hi" Derek said as Abbey jumped into his arms before carrying her into the kitchen

"Hey" he said to Meredith who was still sitting on the table

Derek placed Abbey into her chair where all her artwork was situated and began to stare at Meredith.

"Abbey why don't you go and get you're pyjama's on, and I'll be up in a second ok?" Meredith said as she rubbed her hand along Abbey's back.

"Ok mommy" Abbey replied before running out of the room.

"Are you going to talk to me?" Derek asked as he stood beside the table staring at Meredith who was running her finger around the rim of her cup.

"Meredith!" Derek insisted. She suddenly looked up at him and slammed her cup down on the table.

"Ok, I've wanted to say this for a really long time. I just didn't know how to. I've been working myself up and up to have to courage to say this too you, because I felt like a total idiot for even thinking it. I mean... You don't see me..." She began

"What, of course I se..." Derek interrupted

"No! I mean you don't see me for ME! You see me as the mother of your child, as a colleague. You don't see me as you're wife, you're bestfriend, your soulmate... or whatever. And I don't understand why? You told me that I mean everything to you, that I'm you're world. But that's not how you make me feel. I feel like a piece of crap that you picked up off the floor. I feel like a failure in this marriage. Like all my hard work was for nothing. Like I've forgotten what love and happiness is. But then when I look at Abbey, she makes me happy. And every time I look at her I'm reminded of what we used to have together...." Meredith continued as Derek stood listening to her open up for the first time in months "... The love that we shared, the love that made that beautiful little girl. And I just want it back. I want you back. I don't want Abbey to grow up without a father. And the both of us know what that feels like. But at this rate Derek I think that's how our future is headed. But this time I'm not going to run or hide. I'm gonna fight for our marriage, what's left of it anyways. Because after everything that we have been through, we freaking deserve it." She stood up and stared at him for a second before walking past him and leaving the room. Derek was left totally stunned by what Meredith had just told him.

He had no idea that's how she felt. He knew Meredith was stressed but, I he never knew that she felt like such a failure in her own marriage. He never meant to make her feel this way. Derek loves her. He always has, and will till the end of time. It broke his heart to see her in such a state. But he knew she had grown a few years ago she would of bolted. But now she was staying fight for what she wants the most. She's changed so much, and now he was realising that he had too, he's different, a different person.

**XXXXX**

It had been a pretty quiet day at the hospital. And Meredith had decided to camp herself out in a conference room to fill out charts. She was sitting in the corner of the room on the floor leaning her back against the couch with charts spread all around her. She was that consumed in her paperwork she didn't even realised the door open.

"Look who I found!" she heard a familiar voice say she looked up and saw Izzie walking into the room holding Abbey's hand

"Mommy" Abbey shouted as she ran over to Meredith to give her a hug.

"Hey baby, you ok?" Meredith replied as she hugged her back.

"Yes" Abbey said as she placed herself in-between Meredith's legs.

"Good, have you been a good girl in daycare today?" Meredith asked as she played with Abbey ponytail.

"Yes I have." She giggled as she picked up a chart from the floor and begun to try and read it.

"Thanks for picking her up Iz I'm totally swamped." Meredith smiled

"It's fine, do you want me to take her home, or take her to my place, she can stay over, Her and Liam seemed to have a great time the other night." Izzie suggested as she leaned against the door frame.

"Erm, no that's fine, I'm gonna spend some time with her. Thanks anyway"

"Ok well if you need anything, you know where I am" Izzie grinned before walking out of the room towards the nurse's station a few feet away.

Meredith sat on the floor watching Abbey play with a chart in her hands when she suddenly leaned back and placed her head into Meredith's chest.

"You ok hunny? Are you tired?" Meredith asked as she stroked Abbeys hair

"Yeah. Can we go home?" Abbey replied tiredly

"No sorry baby I have to work. Wait here until daddy comes and he will take you home ok?" Meredith explained

"How longs he going to be?" Abbey asked

"I don't know baby. Here lay on the couch..." Meredith said before standing up and lifting Abbey onto the couch "... Have a nap and I'll page him ok? Stay here" Meredith said before leaving the room

"Izzie can you page Derek for me please" Meredith said appearing at Izzie's side

"Sure, is everything ok?" Izzie asked looking into the conference room at Abbey.

"Yeah" Meredith said with a smile before walking back into the room and placing herself next to Abbey on the couch. Abbey nudged over a little and placed her head on Meredith lap.

A few moments later Meredith saw Derek arrive at the nurse's station. Obviously asking Izzie what the problem was she pointed towards Meredith, he looked at her before smiling and making his way into the room.

"Hey" Derek said smiling as he walked over to Meredith and bend down in front of her.

"Hi, she's tired, can you take her home." Meredith asked

"Yeah I've just finished my shift... Look I've been thinking about what you said..." Derek began. But before he could continue Abbey started to stir.

"Hey sweetie" Derek said softly "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, can we go home?" She asked unenthusiastically.

"I need to have a quick talk with mommy for a seconded so can you go with Izzie and I'll come get you when we've finished ok?" Derek smiled as he motioned Izzie to come into the room

"Ok" She smiled weakly "Bye mommy" she said before Izzie lifted her from Meredith lap and carried her out of the room. Meredith waved at Abbey before sliding off the couch and returned to her former spot on the floor.

Derek let out a small smile at Meredith before he sat himself on the floor a few inches in front of her. She smiled at him slightly before he began to speak.

"Look I've been thinking about what you said. And I totally respect you and you're side in this. But I want you to know that I DO love you, without you in my life there would be no pointing living. You have given me everything that I could ever have dreamed of. Every time you walk into the room my heart skips a beat, and when I see you with Abbey it's just the most beautiful sight, and to know that something so amazing and beautiful came out of this relationship. I know I've made some mistakes and I've brought this marriage down. But I'm working on fixing it. I promise you that I'm working on it. I'm trying to become a better person, and father. I know we can make this work, I want to make this work" Derek explained as he looked up into Meredith's eyes and noticed a small tear was descending down her cheek. He raised his hand and placed it on her jaw line caressing her gently.

"I love you" He said bringing his head closer to hers. She placed her hand on top of his and pulled her head closer so their foreheads were touching.

"I love you too" Meredith replied as she began to sob. "Don't ever leave me" she continued weeping.

"I promise you that will never happen." He replied wiping the tears from her eyes before leaning into her and began to kiss her passionately on the lips. They both sat there for a moment kissing each other fervently until Derek backed off slightly and pulled Meredith in for a hug. She held on to him for dear life as if she was making sure he would not slip away.

"Come on..." Derek said as he kissed Meredith's forehead "Let's get you home, I'll help you with all of this tomorrow. Ok?" Derek said as she stood up and held out his hand for Meredith. Meredith accepted his gesture and pulled herself up. Derek pulled her into an embrace and cuddled her once more before they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Hey sorry. But she's falling asleep" Izzie said as she walked into the room with Abbey in her arms

"Thanks Iz" Meredith smiled before reaching over taking Abbey from Izzie's arm's.

"Mommy? Are we going home now?" Abbey asked sleepily before resting her head on Meredith's shoulder and closing her eyes.

"Yeah baby" Meredith replied as she kissed her forehead before turning to find Derek picking up all her charts and paperwork.

"Come on..." He said as he walked past her kissing her quickly on the head before walking out to the nurse's station and setting the charts down.

"Let's go home" Derek continued holding out his hand until Meredith took it and they made their way out of the hospital.

_**Ok pretty short I know, but I have work in an hour so I had to make this one quick. Ok they Meredith and Derek have finally gotten through to each other. Thank god. I hate to see them fight. So anyways, everything's looking good from here on out. So review and stuff please =)**_


	5. Happy Days Are Here Again

**Ok so I've kinda stolen the magazine idea from Shonda =P or who ever came up with the Magazine idea in "Shondaland" I just thought it was fun!! =p anyways here the update!**

It had been a pretty rough morning. Trauma after trauma after trauma, and everyone deserved a well earned break. Meredith walked into the cafeteria and saw all the first year Attendings sitting round a table at the other end of the room, she went to the salad bar and paid for some food before walking over and joining them.

"Hey" Meredith said as she placed her salad package on the table before taking a seat

"Hey" Izzie replied, never taking her eyes from a magazine she was reading

"Hey you ok?" Cristina asked staring at Meredith from the other side of the table

"Yeh, im fine" Meredith replied "... What?" she continued as she notched Cristina staring at her "... I'm fine" she continued as she opened her salad case

"Ok" Cristina frowned. She knew something was up, I mean Meredith was her person and she had know her long enough to know when something's wrong.

"Hey what cha reading...?" Meredith asked Izzie as she leaned over and looked at the page "...20 Way's To Spice up Your Sex Life" she laughed

"Yeah..." Izzie said. She looked up from her magazine and realised everyone at the table was staring at her "... What? Im trying to score a new man and being good in bed usually helps"

"What let me see...?" Cristina said as she snatched the magazine from Izzie "... Oh, oh yeah you should try 17 that will definitely help!" Cristina sniggered

The whole table burst into laughter as Izzie snatched the book back from her

"Cristina!" Izzie snapped "What about you Mer...?" She continued as she handed the magazine to Meredith. "... What would you try?"

"What? Oh no, that's ok, I... I don't... Need that" Meredith stuttered as she continued to eat her food not paying to any of the staring eyes that were looking at her.

"What why?" Cristina asked

"It's... Complicated ok? I don't need it." She said as she continued focusing on her salad in front of her

"Ha-Ha yeah right. I seriously doubt that you know every trick in the book" Cristina interrupted

"Well I wouldn't put it past them..." Izzie said smiling at Meredith, Meredith threw her a frown back "... Well with the amount of noise you guy's make, im surprised I got any sleep at all, you know back in the day." Izzie giggled

"WORD!" Alex agreed

"Yeah so it's either that or you're are celibate" As Izzie finished her sentence the whole table looked up at Meredith waiting for her to say something, instead she just tucked her head down and continued to eat her food.

"Oh My God! You guys aren't having sex are you??" Izzie gasped

"No Izzie we're not having sex!" Meredith snapped looking up at her

"Why not?" Alex asked as she chewed on his food

"Well have you seen the state of our marriage lately? We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore" Meredith continued

"Seriously? It's that bad?" George asked

"Wait I thought you guys made up last night?" Izzie corrected her

"No, well sort of, I guess, I don't know. I slept in Abbeys room last night" Meredith said as she began to tuck into her salad again

"Oh well I assumed, you know with all the tonsil hockey you two were playing last night, you would of had make up sex." Izzie said

"How longs it been?" Cristina blurted out

"Cristina!" Meredith shouted looking at her person "... Two months" she sighed

"God Mer, I really do feel for you, I do" Izzie said sympathetically

"Hot..." A voice said from behind her "Wanna do it in an On-Call room?" The voice continued

""Dr Zimmons? Don't you have lab results to pick up?" Meredith snapped at him

"Well if you ever change your mind?" He grinned before walking away

"I hate residents. He needs a kick up the..." Meredith said turning back to face her friends

"He's right!" Alex said grinning

"What?" Meredith asked

"You know who he reminds me of? YOU...!" Izzie said pointing to Alex "... Only 7 years younger, and a hotter ass" Izzie continued as she stood up frowning at him.

"Mmm..." Meredith and Cristina said as they took a quick glance at Dr Zimmons butt before he walked out of the cafeteria

"Your right he does have a hot ass" Meredith giggled before standing up and walking away from the table along side Izzie.

**XXXXXX**

"Time of death 18:56" Derek said as he stood before the operating table. He pulled of his headset and walked over to the waste bin and extracted himself of his gown and gloves before walking into the scrub room to scrub out.

"Thanks for the help in there Dr Patterson" Derek said as his intern for the day joins his side.

"You're welcome." She smiled gazing at him from the corner of her eye "Erm... I'm sorry we lost him" She said as she ran her arms underneath the tap.

"Its ok things like this happen, you can't always save everyone" He replied as he walked behind her to grab a towel. He dried his hands and placed the towel in the bin, as he walked behind her again she stepped back and bumped into him.

"Oh sorry Dr Shepherd" she giggled as he placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her from falling.

"It's ok" he replied smiling at her. Suddenly their gaze was broke by the door swinging open.

"Dr Shepherd?" The voice behind the mask said

"HmHm..." He coughed "Yes?" He continued

"Dr Shepherd needs your help, she's in OR 2" the nurse told him for rushing out of the room.

He rushed out of the scrub room and made his way towards OR 2.

**

"Thanks for that" Meredith smiled as she entered the scrub room

"You're welcome" Derek smiled _"déjà vu"_ he thought

"So..." Meredith began

"Yeah" he replied giving Meredith a slight smile

"What time do you finish today?" Meredith asked

"8. You?" he replied as he grabbed a towel from the shelf.

"10" She smiled

Derek threw his towel into the bin and Meredith did the same. She stood there for a moment gazing into his eyes, he gazed back.

"I think we're having a moment" Derek said as she continued to stare at her with his dreamy eyes

"Yeah" she replied.

Derek moved his gaze from her eyes down to her lips, and began moving into her closer, she registered what he was wanting to do and leaned herself into him. Their lips brushed past each other quickly barely touching, before he pulled away slightly. He placed his hand on her jaw line and pulled her face closer to his before attacking her lips with his. She responded by placing a hand on his chest and pushed him against the scrub sink. He placed his hands onto her waist and moved them slowly and slyly underneath her scrub top.

"Derek...?" Meredith said breathlessly "Mmm... Derek?" She repeated

"Yeah..." he replied pulling his lips from hers

"Not here" she whispered as she removed her hands from his body

"Yeah... right" he smiled. He let go of her waist and placed one hand over her cheek before kissing her tenderly on the forehead. As he was doing so someone walked into the scrub room

"Erm... Sorry... Dr Shepherd...'s, I'll wait outside" Dr Patterson said, before moving and turning for the door

"No it's ok..." Derek said as he let go of Meredith, who turned to face the intern and smiled

"Is everything ok?" Derek said as he looked at Meredith from the corner of his eye, she seemed a bit disorientated by the effect of the kiss and was throwing random smiled at his intern.

"No... Erm Mr Rivers family have some questions, so could you... ya know?" she said while pointing towards the door.

"Yeah sure" He smiled, before turning to Meredith and kissed her on the forehead again

"I'll see you tonight?" he asked smiling

"Yeah" she replied placing her hand on her fingers on her lips before turning to look at the intern once more. She soon realised that she was checking Derek out. _"The dam whore is checking him out"_ She thought. Right in front of her._ "What the hell?" _she thought once again

"Yeah" Meredith said before placing her hand on Derek's face and pulling him in to kiss him softly on the lips.

"Ok then" he smiled as he pulled away. Derek looked at his intern and motioned for her to lead out of the room. "See you later" he continued before following the intern out of the room.

**XXXXX**

Finally the day had ended Meredith was completely worn out. She pulled into her driveway, switched off her car before collecting her things and making her way towards her porch. She unlocked her front door and stepped inside her house. As she took off her jacket she heard a slight sound coming from the living room. She put her bag on the floor and turned to walk into the living room but she stopped and begun to laugh too herself as she saw the amusing sight in front of her. Derek was completely collapsed out on the couch. And Abbey was snuggled up in his arms beside him fast asleep. She walked over to the pair and moved Derek's hand that was resting on Abbey's arm protecting her. She picked Abbey up and comforted her in her arms. Abbey begun to stir, and she eventually opened her eyes and tiredly looked at her mom who was carrying her up the stairs. Meredith opened Abbey's bedroom door and walked inside. She placed Abbey on her bed before turning on her dim side light.

"Hey baby" Meredith said with a smile, as Abbey began to sit up on her bed

"Hi mommy" Abbey said quietly letting out a yawn

"Do you wanna get into your PJs?" Meredith asked softly as she brushed some hair out of Abbeys eyes

"Yeah" Abbey replied as she grabbed her PJs from under her pillow.

Once Abbey had gotten dress she climbed under her covers and stared up at Meredith who was sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Ok baby, I'll see you in the morning ok?" Meredith smiled before kissing her daughter on the forehead.

"Love you mommy" Abbey said as she closed her eyes

"Love you too baby" Meredith replied. She suddenly felt a hand on her back and Derek leaned over her to kiss Abbey on the cheek

"Goodnight sweetie" Derek said as she stroked Abbey head

"Night daddy" Abbey smiled, before her parents stood up and left the room.

Once Meredith had brushed her teeth she turned off her bathroom light and made her way over to her side of the bed. Derek smiled at her as he watched her climb into bed next to him. Normally his first reaction to his was to spoon her and hold her tight, but for some reason her hesitated, no sure whether she would allow him to touch her or not. He thought I better take a chance and he leaned over and placed his arm over her waist before moving in closer to her. Meredith moaned softly before tilting her head back into Derek's neck.

"Rough day?" Derek asked as he placed his head into the crook of her neck. This motion felt a little strange to Meredith seeing as the two of the hadn't had any intimate contact in bed for the past few months. She missed feeling his warmth around her body when they tangled themselves in each other.

"Yeah" Meredith replied as she moved slightly underneath Derek's arm.

"Want cheering up? He asked smiling before moving her hair from her neck and began kissing her slowly.

"Mmm..." she giggled at the tickling feeling Derek was giving her around her neck

"We haven't done this in a while" Meredith said before biting her bottom lip as Derek continued to kiss her neck and pull her top down off her shoulder slightly before moving his lips down kissing her more tenderly.

"No we haven't" He said before turning her over onto her back and climbing on top of her.

"... or this" he continued as he leaned down and kissed her on the lips, "Or... this" he said again as he moved his hands down and placed them on her stomach, before running them up her body pulling her tee-shirt with them. "And... This" he repeated as he pulled her tee-shirt over her head and begun to spread wet kisses on her chest. He then kissed his way down to her stomach, and ran a ring around her navel with his tongue. "And... we definitely haven't done this" He teased as she pulled her bottoms and panties down and threw them on the floor.

"Ahh Derek... Mmm..." She moaned as she placed her hands in his hair before moving her hips up and down in even strokes at the sensation he was giving her.

"You've got a condom right?" Meredith moaned as she gripped tighter to Derek's head

"Mmm..." Derek moaned as he continued to lavish at the spot between her pelvis.

_**Until Next time....**_


	6. Something That You're Missing

The time was 6:45am and Meredith was sound asleep. She and Derek had been up all night doing the dirty, dirty. For the first time in months they had spent the night together, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. As Meredith slumbered Derek was propped up on his shoulder behind her, watching her sleep. He raised his hand and slowly glided it from her naked thigh all the way up to her shoulder. He missed this. He missed waking up next to her in the morning, whether or not they had just sex, it didn't matter to him, as long as he was with the woman he loved. Just the feeling of her soft naked skin touching his body was overwhelming. Suddenly she began to wake; she turned her head and noticed him gazing at her.

"I see some things haven't changed" She tiredly said before moving in to kiss him

"No" he smiled kissing her back tenderly "So did I cheer you up last night?" Derek asked

"Mmm... Yes" Meredith replied giggling before they wrapped their arms around each other.

"You're still naked" She grinned as she rubbed her hand up and down his body, while shaking her head

"Yes, I'm still naked. I was hoping for another few rounds" He laughed as he stroked her hair.

"Well I could too. But Abbey's probably going to wake up soon, and we have work. So..." She said smiling into his big dreamy eyes "Maybe later?"

"Definitely" He smirked as he kissed her lightly on the lips before climbing out of bed.

**XXXXX**

The ER had been busy all day; people had been going in and out of surgery like bolts of lightning. Meredith had preformed three craniotomies and one spinal injury. In the space of one hectic morning. She decided to take a quick break, and escaped to the one place the always found peace, the nursery.

"Ok so I was thinking that maybe..." Izzie said hesitantly "... We could take the kids on a play date or something? You know when we both have a day off?" Izzie asked as Meredith stared at all the babies through the glass window "Hello..." Izzie said waving her hand in front of Meredith face.

"What sorry?" Meredith drawing her eyes away from the window

"I said, maybe we should take the kids on a play date? I mean Abbey and Liam are pretty close, they have been spending alot of time together, whatcha think?" Izzie asked again as she leaned her back onto the window.

"Yeah sure why not" Meredith nodded never taking her eyes off the babies

"Mer, are you ok? You seem a little distracted" Izzie asked crossing her arms

"I... I don't know. I mean yeah. Everything's amazing, Derek and I are finally talking again and working out our issues, and I don't' know? There's still something missing." She continued

"Well, you can't fix something like that over night. It takes time. And I guess eventually you'll realise what it is that's missing, and you'll... you'll work it out. You always do" Izzie smiled before rubbing Meredith arm "See you later?" Izzie said before departing down the corridor.

"Yeah" Meredith whispered to herself as she continued to look through the glass at all the cute tiny fidgety bodies. She missed those days, the day's when Abbey was a tiny little baby and she could cradle her in her arms and protect her from every harmfully thing in the world. But now as she was getting older she knew that sooner or later, Abbey will grow up and feel the hurt and the pain that life throws in your face. And there was nothing she could do to stop it.

**XXXXXX**

It was late Saturday night and it had begun to rain heavily in Seattle. Meredith and Derek had just returned home from the Cinderella play that Derek had bought them tickets for. They walked hand in hand into the house while Derek was holding a sleepy Abbey in his arms.

"You think she had fun?" Derek asked Meredith as they walked through the front door

"Yeah" Meredith replied taking off her coat. She turned to face Derek and ran her fingers through her sleeping daughter's hair "It's been a long time since we did something like this as a family." She said as they stood staring at each other.

"Yeah" Derek replied. Suddenly his pager went off and he unhooked it form his jeans to look at the display "It's the chief, here can you take her?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, I'll put her to bed" Meredith smiled as she took Abbey from Derek's arms

"Ok" Derek smiled; he kissed Meredith quickly on the lips before walking into the kitchen to call the hospital.

Once Meredith had put Abbey to bed he walked into the kitchen to find Derek talking on the phone with someone; she walked up behind his and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Ok, I'll be there first thing in the morning, thanks for the heads up." He hung up the phone and turned to face Meredith. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug.

"Who was that?" Meredith asked as she placed her head into his chest

"The chief, there's a transfer coming in from New York Pres, she should be here in the morning." He replied before kissing her forehead "Ready for bed?"

"Yeah" Meredith replied as she intertwined her hand in his and led him out of the kitchen turning off the lights as they went along.

Once they got upstairs Derek decided to run a nice hot bath for the two of them. He surrounded the bath with candles and filled it to the brim with bubble bath; he turned down the light to make it look more romantic.

"Hey there Mrs Shepherd" Derek grinned as she walked into the bedroom after checking on a sleeping Abbey she closed her bedroom losing the door behind her and turned noticing that Derek had a cheeky grin on his fast.

"What do you want?" She asked smiling as she sat on the edge of the bed getting ready to climb in.

"Oh no you don't" Derek said as he took her hand and led her over to the bathroom he opened the door and guided her inside.

"Derek? What's this" she laughed as she walked into the bathroom, and begun to scan the room with her eyes

"For you" he replied kissing her neck

"Thank you" she grinned. She stripped off her clothes and stepped into the water, before sitting down she looked at Derek sitting on the bed as he watched her "Well, you getting in?" She asked

Derek stripped off his clothes and made his way over to her before placing himself in the bath behind her.

"Mmm... This is nice" Meredith moaned

"Yeah" Derek replied as he moved her all her hair onto one side of her neck and began kissing the other. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and held her close while he continued to spread wet kisses over her ear, neck and shoulder.

"Derek?" Meredith asked sensitively

"Mmmm..." He moaned

"Do you ever think that there's something missing between us?" Meredith asked

"No..." he began as he raised his head from her neck "... Everything is perfect. The way it should be. Why? What's on your mind?" He replied

"Nothing... It's just. It's nothing" She said leaning her head back against Derek's chest

"Right. Look if there's anything that you want to say or talk about, then you can" Derek said as he kissed her neck once more.

"No, it's fine..." She moaned as he continued she presses kisses along her shoulder "It can wait." She said grinning.

**XXXXX**

"Come in" The chief shouted as he heard someone knock on his office door "Ahh Derek yes take a seat" Richard said as Derek closed the door behind him.

"Ok so here's you're patients chart..." Richard said handing Derek the chart "Lisa Yates 26 year old female, was admitted into New York Presbyterian Hospital yesterday morning, with complains of a possible stroke. She has facial paralysis and aphasia and her doctors thought it was a stroke until she seized so they did a full work up and a MRI. They then found a Malignant Glioma and ruled out any other cause for her symptoms. Her husband found out about your successful clinical trail, and he wanted his wife to be transferred here. She's in room 2336"

"Ok thanks chief" Derek said as he stood up and motioned his way to the door

"Shep" Richard called "Don't screw this one up." He said before getting back to his paper work.

**XXXXX**

Derek was standing at the third floor nurses station reading through his patients chart when he felt a hand snake across his waist.

"Hey..." Meredith said as she appeared by his side "... You paged"

"Yeah..." Derek replied as he handed Meredith the chart "... Take a look" He continued nodding at her

Meredith frowned at him slightly in confusion before flipping open the chart and reading the patient's bio

"Seriously" She said looking up at him, wanting to smile. She knew that it was not really appropriate to smile about a case like this, but she and Derek had created this amazing life saving technique, together. One that she had not preformed in while, so to be back here once again, felt like the good old resident days. Plus it was a really exhilarating surgery.

"I thought you would like to help? Seeing as it was your _baby_ to begin with" Derek smirked

"Shut up" Meredith laughed as she hit in lightly on the chest "I totally would"

"Right come one lets go meet our patient" He smiled kissing her lightly on the forehead before making their way to the elevator.

**XXXXX**

As they stepped off the elevator Derek stopped grabbing Meredith hand to pull her back.

"What?" Meredith asked looking up at Derek

"Don't forget you can't get emotionally evolved with this patient" He reminded her

"Derek don't worry I won't" She smiled before walking towards the patients room

"Good morning" Derek said as he walked into Mrs Yates's room followed by Meredith and a few interns. When he entered he saw the patient lying down in her bed. And sat next to her was her husband who was slowly stoking her head.

"Oh hello, you must be Dr Shepherd..." Mr Yates said as he stood up and shook Derek's hand "... Thank you so much for taking on my wife's case. This really, truly means a lot to me"

"You're welcome, this is Dr Shepherd" Derek said as he gestured towards Meredith

"Hi" Meredith said shaking Mr Yates's hand and throwing a smile at the patient.

"Ok so it says here that you're wife presents with a Malignant Glioma and has facial paralysis and aphasia" Derek said as he made his way over to Lisa "Can I just take a look?" Derek asked as he pulled his light from his pocket "Look down for me..." he said as he continued his small tests

"Yes, oh what exactly is aphasia? They didn't really explain it much back in New York" Mr Yates asked as he watched Derek with the light in his hand.

"Dr Morton, can you explain?" Meredith asked one of the interns

"Oh, it basically means that your wife is having trouble with her speech, for example she would be finding it hard to loss of the ability to produce and/or comprehend language" The intern explained

"Very good" Meredith said smiling as she peered over at Derek who was still shining a light into Lisa's eyes.

"Are you two married?" Mr Yates asked out of the blue

"Yes" Derek smiled walking back to the patients table to write into her chart

"How long have you been married for?" He smiled

"Almost 7 years" Meredith said looking at Derek

"Marriage is amazing isn't it? Do you have children" He asked

"Yeah, a little girl" Derek replied as he handed his chart to an intern "Dr Morton can you, draw some blood and take Mrs Yates for an MRI please" Derek asked as he turned for the door.

"It's beautiful isn't it? The miracle of life, nothing is more amazing. We have two, at home. See that's why you have to help us Dr Shepherd..." Mr Yates began as he followed Derek and Meredith out of the room into the corridor closing the door behind him "... We love our life, or marriage our kids. We love it and I can't imagine life without my wife. You have to help us." Mr Yates begged

"We are going to everything we can to help Lisa" Meredith said as she took Mr Yates's hand.

"Thank you" He smiled nervously before walking back into his wife's room.

Meredith smiled and looked up at Derek, and noticed he was glaring at her.

"What?" She asked trying not to laugh

"What about not getting to emotionally involved?" Derek said still glaring at her

"Shut up" She grinned before walking away.

**XXXXX**

"Guess what?" Meredith announced as she slammed her try down on the cafeteria table before taking a seat between to Cristina and Izzie.

"Jeez..." Cristina jumped "... You could have given me heart attack"

"Yeah right" Meredith laughed as she opened her salad carton

"You're in a good mood" Cristina said frowning at her "Why?"

"Oh. Erm..." Meredith began

"You had dirty make up sex didn't you?" Izzie interrupted with a smirk

"Izzie?" Meredith shouted

"Did you?" Cristina asked

"Erm... yes" Meredith grinned "But that's not the only reason why im in a good mood. I have a patient with... wait for it... A malignant glioma" She giggled

"Shut up. Seriously?" George gasped

"Yep... ha-ha and non of you get to scrub in" Meredith gloated

"So what. It's not like it's never been done before" Cristina said as she pecked at her food

"Yoou're... Juust jealouus" Meredith said in a happy tune "Ha-haa" She couldn't help but grin

"Wait is it the same type of tumour that you were studying in that clinical trail of yours a few years ago?" Izzie asked

"Yep, my baby" Meredith said

"Why's it so exciting?" Cristina asked

"Because this is the first time that we've done this surgery for real. As in no clinical trial, it's a real surgery now, my babies all grown up" Meredith said as she began to eat her food.

"We. As in you and Derek?" Izzie asked

"Yes" Meredith grinned

"So first you're having dirty, dirty make up sex, and now you're re-creating magical clinical trails history together. Rock on" Izzie grinned. Suddenly her pager when off "Oh those dam interns they don't even know how to do a plain simple x-ray, they are going to destroy my Clinic." Izzie said as she collected her things.

"We were never this stupid."Cristina said making Meredith laugh

"Word. I gotta go" Izzie said as she stood up from her chair "Oh Mer we still on for tonight?"

"Yeah" Meredith replied smiling at Izzie before she walked away.

"What's happening tonight?" Cristina asked

"Oh Izzie's bringing Liam round my place to play with Abbey"

"Aww, how cute" Cristina said sarcastically

"It is. And when you and Hunt have little tiny babies you will understand and until then..." Meredith began before her pager went off "Crap, 911..." Meredith said as she stood up "... shut up" she blurted out before running out of the cafeteria to her 911.

_**I like were this chapters going with the patient!! **_

_**Oh have you noticed that Mer's feeling a little broody? =D**_

_**S'all good =) **_

_**Thanks for reading **__**Review**__**... Until Next time!**_


	7. The Planets Bend Between Us

"_So first you're having dirty, dirty make up sex, and now you're re-creating magical clinical trails history together. Rock on" Izzie grinned. Suddenly her pager when off "Oh those dam interns they don't even know how to do a plain simple x-ray, they are going to destroy my Clinic." Izzie said as she collected her things._

"_We were never this stupid."Cristina said making Meredith laugh_

"_Word. I gotta go" Izzie said as she stood up from her chair "Oh Mer we still on for tonight?"_

"_Yeah" Meredith replied smiling at Izzie before she walked away._

"_What's happening tonight?" Cristina asked_

"_Oh Izzie's bringing Liam round my place to play with Abbey"_

"_Aww, how cute" Cristina said sarcastically_

"_It is. And when you and Hunt have little tiny babies you will understand and until then..." Meredith began before her pager went off "Crap, 911..." Meredith said as she stood up "... shut up" she blurted out before running out of the cafeteria to her 911._

**XXXXX**

"What happened?" Meredith said as she ran into Lisa's room. She suddenly noticed that Lisa was having a seizure.

"I was taking her temperature and she just started to seize." Dr Patterson said as she turned the patient onto her side "I paged the other Dr Shepherd" She said giving Meredith a sly look

"Well I'm here now" Meredith replied as she moved Lisa's bed table out of the way.

"What's happening?" Mr Yates yelled as he walked into the room dropping his coffee onto the floor.

"Dr Patterson can you get him out of here please." Meredith ordered as she held Lisa on her side

"But I have this..." Dr Patterson replied

"Don't argue with me, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!" Meredith yelled this intern was seriously getting on her last nerve "NOW!" she shouted once more.

"Ok" Dr Patterson replied throwing a slight scowl at Meredith before removing Mr Yates from the room.

"Ok, ok. Your ok" Meredith said as Lisa finally stopped seizing.

Meredith rolled Lisa back onto her back and laid her head back down onto the pillow before walking out of the room to the nurse's station to grab Lisa's chart.

"Guy's, get over here" Meredith called to her two interns that where on her service today. Dr Patterson and another intern made their way over to Meredith and stood before her.

"Ok I'm heading home. Grimes take Lisa for a MRI, and page the on-call neurosurgeon when her scans come through" Meredith began as she handed Dr Grimes Lisa's chart.

"Patterson you on-call tonight?" Meredith asked as the other intern walked back into the room.

"No" Patterson answered with a cocky tone.

"Well you are now. I want you to sit with her and monitor her closely, I want to you keep her from seizing, if she so much as twitches then you're ass is on the line. Got It?" Meredith crossing her arms

"Got it..." Patterson began "... _Dr. Shepherd_" She said sarcastically as Meredith walked away, before following her fellow intern down the hallway as she lead Lisa to the MRI room.

**XXXXX**

Once Meredith had finished changing from her scrubs she exited th attending lounge and headed down to the second floor lobby. As she walked towards the stairs she heard a slight giggle, suddenly a smile began to play on her lips. She stopped to look over the railings and saw Abbey below sitting on top of the nurse's station playing with Lexie and her teddy bear. She stood there for a moment watching as her daughter interacted with her aunt. This was something that she would never imagine Lexie doing 7 years ago when they first met.

"Hi" Meredith suddenly heard someone whisper in her ear. "What are we watching?" Derek asked as he placed himself behind Meredith wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Abbey" Meredith smiled as she leaned her head back into Derek's chest

"Mmm..." Derek moaned into her ear "She's so beautiful, just like her mom... She has your smile" he laughed as he kissed her on the neck

"You think so?" Meredith replied

"Yeah, she beginning to look more and more like you everyday" He continued as stroked her hair

"Mmm..." Meredith moaned as she grinned "She has your eyes though" Meredith said as she turned in Derek's arms

"Yeah?" Derek smiled before leaning and began to kiss her slowly on the lips

"Der... Derek?" Meredith muttered as she pulled away "No PDA remember?"

"I don't think I can recall you ever telling me that" Derek giggled as he held Meredith in an embrace

"Ok, save it for later" She laughed as she pulled away from him

"Ok I'll see you later?" Meredith asked

Derek quickly glanced down at Abbey then back at Meredith "You know what...?" Derek began as he took Meredith's hand as walked her down the steps "... I think I'm gonna finish early tonight. Dr Moore is on-call so it should be ok for me to go" he continued as he held her hand as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Ok, you sure?" Meredith asked

"Yeah, I'm gonna get a quick shower, wait for me?" He smiled as they made their way over to Lexie and Abbey

"Mommy!" Abbey called

"Hey baby" Meredith smiled and kissed Abbey on her head, as she swung her legs back and forth over the edge of the desk.

"Daddy" Abbey called as she noticed him by Meredith side.

"Hi sweetie, someone's looking extra pretty today" he smiled as he ran his fingers through Abbey's short pigtails.

"Yeah Aunty Lexie did it for me" Abbey replied as she twisted her tiny fingers through her pigtail.

"Ok, I'll see you in a sec" Derek said as he kissed Meredith on her temple and stroked Abbey's hair quickly before walking away

"Where's daddy off?" Abbey asked grinning

"What did you just say?" Meredith asked laughing

"Where's he going?" Abbey replied shaking her head which made Lexie chuckle

"He going to get a shower..." Suddenly a thought crossed Meredith's mind and a slight smile began to play on her lips "... Then we're all going home"

"Ohh, ok" Abbey smiled as she reached for Meredith hand. Meredith intertwined her hand with Abbey's tiny fingers.

"Abbey, mommy's just going to see a patient before we head home do you think you can stay with aunt Lexie for ten minutes?" Meredith asked as she ran her hand through Abbeys fringe

"Yeah sure" Abbey smiled

"Ok" Meredith replied as she leant down and kissed Abbey on the cheek.

"Ok you have fun" Lexie said grinning at Meredith. She knew exactly where Meredith was going and it wasn't to see a patient.

"I will" Meredith grinned before walking towards to elevator.

**XXXXX**

Meredith walked into the attending changing room and found it empty. She grinned when she heard the sound of running water coming from a door at the other end of the room. She made her way over to the door and opened it slightly to find one of the cubicles occupied. She walked over to the bench and noticed Derek's scrubs thrown to the side. She took off her clothes and slowly opened the door to his cubicle and stepped inside. Without saying a word she stood behind him and rested her hands on his waist. As he felt her do so he turned and smiled at her.

"Hi" he grinned obviously happy to see her.

"Hey" Meredith replied grinning back. She placed her head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her waist to comfort her. They both stood there under the shower, naked in each other's arms for a moment until one broke off the silence.

"Bad day?" Derek asked

"Mmm..." Meredith replied as she buried her head into his chest

"Well... I think I can cheer you up with something that's way better than surgery" he giggled before placing his hand underneath her chin and pulling her head up to him "Come here" He said smiling before leaning down to kiss her on the lips

Meredith returned the kiss more passionately. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pushed her against the shower wall. Derek then lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Mmm... this way better than surgery" she laughed as he began to kiss her chest.

"Mmm... I totally agree" he chuckled as he continued to spread wet kisses over her chest.

**XXXXX**

It was early the next morning and Derek and Meredith were lying naked in bed sleep. Suddenly the alarm began to sound. Tiredly Derek leaned over his sleeping wife and switched off the alarm. He then returned his hand to her hip and began to rub it up and down.

"Mmm..." Meredith moaned as she begun to stir. She turned over and inched herself towards Derek until she was wrapped in his arms

"Morning sunshine" Derek said with a sarcastic tone before giggling

"Shut up" Meredith replied tiredly before hitting him over the chest weakly

"Tiring night?" Derek asked as he kissed her hair

"Yes" she replied trying not to laugh

"Well I see I did my job right then" Derek said kissing her on the head once more.

"Mmm... yes you did" Meredith replied looking up at him

"Fancy doing it again?" Derek asked as he begun to play with her hair

Meredith lay there for a second before answering his question. She suddenly realised that she had to go to the hospital to check on Lisa. She turned in Derek's arms and looked at the time that was displayed on her clock.

"Last night was amazing, like really amazing..." she began as she smiled

"... But, I'm sure there's a big fat but coming." Derek asked

"I have to go to the hospital. It's Lisa. I think we should move the surgery up. Like schedule it for today" Meredith as she tilted her head to look into Derek's eyes

"Yeah sure, I have to day off today but page me when you need me and I will come in ok?" He said

"Yeah ok. And in the mean time..." Meredith began as she reached across her bed for her robe "... You can find some other way to amuse yourself" She giggled as she lifted herself from her warm cocoon and sat on the edge of the bed. As she sat there untangling her bath robe Derek noticed her naked back facing him. He lifted his hand and ran it down from her neck all the way to the bottom of her spine. Meredith felt chills suddenly creep over her when she felt his soft hand work its way down her back.

"Ok I'll see you later" Meredith smiled as she lifted herself from her the bed

"Yeah" Derek replied as he glared into her eyes.

**XXXXXX**

Once Meredith arrived at the hospital she changed into her scrubs and headed towards to second floor nurses station where she spotted Dr Patterson.

"What are you doing here I thought I told you to stay with Mrs Yates" Meredith frowned as she took the patients chart from the desk

"I... I was I just wanted some coffee" Dr Patterson stuttered

"No when I tell you to stay with the patient I mean stay with the patient" Meredith said raising her voice

"Ok sorry... I didn't mean to..." Dr Patterson began

"Dr Shepherd..." a voice interrupted. Meredith turned around and saw Mr Yates standing before her.

"HmHm..." Meredith coughed "... Yes sorry"

"I was just wondering if there was any way you could move my wife surgery up, I mean I know you're a very busy person and you have other surgeries but my wife... I can't stand to see her like this anymore" He pleaded

"Yes that's whys I'm here; I think its best it we do move the surgery up" Meredith continued as she gestured Mr Yates into his wife's room

"Good morning Lisa" Meredith smiled at her patient.

"Ok so, we've decided to move you're surgery up, because you're condition seems to be getting worse. Alot worse and we want the best possible outcome for you. So i'm going to scheduled it for this afternoon at 3 it that ok?" Meredith asked as she flipped open Lisa chart

Lisa just nodded and stared at Meredith.

"Ok so what exactly are you going to do to my wife?" Mr Yates asked

"That what I'm going to explain to you now... " Meredith said as she placed the chart down on the desk and looked at her two interns standing before her "how would we proceed?" She asked. As she did so the two interns raised their hands and waited to be called on. She knew that Dr Patterson would know the answer. But she was the new slutty intern on the block and Meredith knew she had her eye on Derek. _"Time to make her suffer I think" _Meredith thought to herself

"Dr Grimes?" Meredith called

"What I know the answer?" Dr Patterson said abruptly

"Dr Patterson" Meredith warned her

"Erm..." Dr Grimes began as she looked between to two women standing before her "... We're going to inject a live virus into the tumor"

"Yes, that's correct. You see the tumor is in a difficult location in your brain, and it's almost impossible to take it out without there being any permanent damage. So the plan is to reduce the tumor from within" Meredith explained

"And this has worked before?" Mr Yates asked

"Yes, I successfully completed the surgery a few years ago and it all went well, and the patient has now fully recovered" Meredith said giving him a reassuring smile "But it's still surgery, there's still a risk"

"Thank you" Mr Yates said while holding onto Meredith's hand.

"Ok Dr Grimes can you book the OR for 3, you're scrubbing in" Meredith said as she directed her two interns out of the room

"What about me?" Dr Patterson asked "Can I scrub in?"

"No..." Meredith said giving her a sly look

"What? I deserve this I'm the one who..." Dr Patterson began

"I don't care, get your attitude sorted and I might let you watch from the back. You better watch your mouth; otherwise I'm going to make your residency here hell on earth. Go run a second set of labs and page me when they are done." Meredith said with a stern voice as she handed Dr Patterson Lisa's chart.

"Ok" Dr Patterson said before walking away

"Freaking interns" Meredith said to herself as she walked over to the nurse's station.

"Who kicked your dog?" She heard a voice say

"What?" Meredith asked as she looked to her side and saw Cristina approaching her

"What's wrong with you?" Cristina laughed

"What nothing, it's just, I hate interns" Meredith continued

"Don't we all" Cristina replied as she began to fill out her chart

"Yeah, I'm gonna call Derek" Meredith said as she pulled out her cell and walked away.

"Ok, Cya" Cristina replied holing up her hand as Meredith walked away.

_**Ok sorry this chapter was not as good as I had versioned it. It's really weird for me. For some reason I seem to get good idea's late at night. And then I begin to write then my parents come into my room and yell at me because I'm up really, really late. So I decide to continue writing the next morning and then my heads just empty! I don't know what it is LOL! It's just weird. So yeah this was just a stop gap, for the next chapter**_

_**X- Oh and I have a new fic idea lingering around in my brain! HEHE! It's about Addison's sister who comes to town (LA) for the summer and she sparks a romance with one of the Oceanside Wellness doctors YAY! **_

_**So review the chapter! Thanks xoxo**_


	8. Quit Stalkin Me

**OMG have ya'll watched the lastest epi of Grey's? It was so shocking! =( Poor Derek!! i have to say i found that fight so funny i don't know why i just laughed so hard! but then i could of cried! lovd the MerDer at the end tho!**

Lisa's surgery was long, but everything seemed to have gone well. Once Meredith finished checking over the patient she walked to the other side of the room and discarded her gown, gloves and mask into the bin. She walked into the scrub room and began to scrub out.

"Ok brilliant job everyone..." Derek began as he watched Meredith through the scrub room window.

"... Grimes can you wrap her for me?" Derek asked as he discarded himself of his own gown and gloves

"Sure, Dr Shepherd" She replied before walking to the head of the table.

"Hey" Derek said as he took a place next to Meredith in the scrub room. He turned on the tap and reached for the soap.

"Hi" Meredith said not really paying attention

"You ok? You seem distracted" Derek continued

"What, no, yeah, I'm fine" Meredith replied as she began to dry her arms

"Mer, I know you well enough now to know that something's bothering you. Talk to me" Derek said as he grabbed a towel and leaned back against the sink.

Meredith looked into his eyes before sighing inaudibly

"Talk to me" Derek repeated as he raised his hand up to her cheek and caressed it softly

"It's just... these interns are pissing me off and... Patterson is..." Meredith hesitated

"I know... she's everywhere. But you don't have to worry ok? Trust me?" Derek smiled as he leaned into kiss her on the cheek.

"Yeah of course. I love you too" Meredith replied as she pulled herself into him and rested her head on his chest.

"Dr Shepherd" they suddenly heard a voice say.

"Yes?" They both replied as they turned to face the scrub room door

"Oh Erm... Mr Yates wants an update on his wife, so can you...?" Dr Patterson said as she pointed out of the door.

"Yeah sure" Meredith said

"I'll see you at home?" Derek said as he caressed her cheek

"Yeah, love you" Meredith said as she stared into his deep grey eyes

"Love you too" He replied before kissing her on her cheek and watched her walk out of the room.

**XXXXX**

Derek stood outside the daycare center watching Abbey through the window. Every time he looked at her he could see Meredith and not just with the looks, her personality she was so full of life and energy and all ways had a smile on her face. From the moment Abbey was born it changed Meredith, something about her just changed. She lived for the moment and didn't care what about the painful things in life she just became '_bright and shiny'_. He looked at his watch and when the arm reached 6 o'clock he entered daycare to take Abbey home.

"Hay baby" Derek said to Abbey as he entered the room

"Daddy, look what I made" Abbey said as she held up a painting

"Yeah I see, it beautiful" Derek smiled as he looked at the picture "Go get your things" Derek said as he kissed her head. As he waited for Abbey to say goodbye to her friends and get her things he noticed someone watching him from the other side of the glass window.

"Crap" Derek whispered under his breath as he saw Dr Patterson standing outside the room. He walked out of the daycare center and walked over to Dr Patterson

"Dr Shepherd" Dr Patterson said with a smile

"Dr Patterson. Are you stalking me?" Derek laughed

"Maybe" Dr Patterson replied giggling

"Mmm..." Derek said as he stared at her "Look I think you need to back off, I know what you are doing, gossip travels fast around this place..." Derek begun

"Yes it does, It really does" Dr Patterson replied grinning

"I'm sorry was there something that you needed?" Derek asked trying to change the subject

"No" Dr Patterson said

"Then what are you doing here, are you trying to annoy me?" Derek said as he leaned against the glass window

"No I'm not..." Dr Patterson said before pointing into the daycare center "... See that little girl talking to your daughter?" Patterson asked

"Yeah" Derek replied

"That's my daughter"

"Oh really? She's beautiful" Derek complimented

"Yes she is. Abbey's beautiful, she really looks like your wife" She said smiling

"Yeah so does" Derek smiled as he stared at Abbey

"Yeah she has your eyes though" Patterson said before smiling "See you later" She said with a wide smile before placing her hand on his arm and walking away.

Derek sighed loudly seeming a bit annoyed before walking back into the Daycare Center

"Ok baby lets go home" Derek said as he put on Abbey coat.

**XXXXX**

Meredith was standing at the nurse's station filling out a chart when Christina pulled up beside her.

"Hey, what's the face? No sex again?" Christina asked as she put her chart down on the desk

"Nothing, why, what's... what's wrong with my face?" Meredith asked frowning at Cristina

"What?" Christina laughed "... Man you really are in need of some sex" Christina continued

"Is that all you guys ever talk about, sex?" Meredith asked

"No..." Izzie replied as she walked up behind Meredith "... We talk about other things, like surgery, kids..."

"Mostly sex though" Christina giggled, but stopped when she saw Meredith scowling at her "Ok seriously what's wrong?"

"Intern" was all Meredith said giving Cristina pissed off face

"What intern?" Izzie asked confused

"Ohh..." Christina interrupted

"What? What's going on?" Izzie asked looked between the two women

"This intern keeps hitting on Derek" Christina replied

"Seriously?" Izzie gasped

"Yeah, like right in front of Mer" Christina continued

"Man that sucks, what you gonna do?" Izzie asked

"20 says she lays her out cold" Alex broke in

"Shut up...!" Meredith interrupted "... I'm not going to _lay her out_. I'm just going to be civilised and tell her that if she goes near him I'm gonna have to transferred to a different specialty" Meredith began

"Seriously the chief would allow you to do that?" Izzie asked

"I don't know, but it's worth a try" Meredith replied

"Yeah or you could send her my way, I'll torcher her" Christina laughed

"You think this is funny?" Meredith said crossing her arms

"Yeah kinda" Cristina murmured

"Cristina!" Izzie gasped

"Whatever" Meredith said before walking away towards the elevator.

_**Short i know...**_

_**So yeah thanks for reading Review!**_

_**Oh and can i just say: -- If you reading this! I noticed you gave me a review thanks for that and just want to let you know i'm totally in love with 'At The Edge Of The Ocean' i'm addicted! Seriousy! i soo can't wait until Derek find out about bessie!! thanks for writing that one i L.O.V.E IT!**_


	9. Flashback Blues

Two weeks had passed since Lisa surgery, and she was recovering well, she had returned home to New York a few days ago with her husband. Derek stood analyzing the OR board when the suddenly felt someone nudge him in the back, he turned and saw Meredith standing by his side.

"Hi" Meredith said smiling

"Hi..." Derek replied as she turned his focus from the board to Meredith expression "... What's on your mind?" Derek laughed

"Well..." Meredith began as she pulled onto the neckline of Derek's scrub top to pull him slightly closer to her "... I noticed we both finish early tonight..." she continued as she bit her lip "So..." She grinned cheekily

"So?" Derek repeated smiling at her

"So, Dr Shepherd I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me tonight?" She asked before leaning into him to kiss I'm softly on the lips "Well?" She asked pulling from the kiss

"Mmm..." Derek moaned as he moved his lips closer to hers before kissing her again "... Why don't we skip the date and go straight to bed?" He asked chuckling

"Mmm? No" Meredith laughed "When was the last time we went on a real date? Like with candle light and flowers and a load of old cheesy music" She asked returning the kiss

"Erm... I can't remember" Derek replied as he lifted his hands on both her cheeks before deepening the kiss

"I do" Meredith replied as she moved her head into Derek chest

"Oh really?" He replied as he wrapped his arms around her waist "When?"

"Around 5 years ago, when I told you I was pregnant. Remember?" Meredith said as she continued to rest her head on Derek's chest

"Mmm... Yes I remember you broke the news before the dessert" He laughed as he pulled her from his body and latched onto her hand and began to walk her down the corridor "Wait..." Derek said as he stopped walking for a moment "... You're not pregnant again are you?" Derek asked as he placed his hand on her shoulder

"What...?" Meredith gasped "... No!"

"Oh" Derek sighed

"Sorry I didn't mean to make it sound so harsh I just, I didn't think you wanted me to be pregnant again that's all" Meredith said as she gazed into his eyes

"What Mer..." He began. Derek quickly looked around him before pulling Meredith towards the nearest on-call room. He placed his hand on the small of her back and pushed her inside slowly following behind her.

"What...?" Meredith asked looking confused

"Sorry I just... what makes you think I don't want you to be pregnant again?" Derek asked as he walked over to Meredith placing his hands eather side of her waist

"I don't know. We just, we always said we wanted _kids_, you know like more than one. But the conversation never came up, so I just assumed that..." She began to ramble

"Mer... Mer..." Derek interrupted her by placing a finger over her lips "... I do want _kids_ with you. I do, I just wanted to wait until you were ready that's all. Nothing would make me happier than to get you _knocked up_ again" He said as he began to laugh

"Ha-ha very funny" Meredith said before hitting him over the chest lightly

"Come here" Derek said as he sat on the bed and pulled Meredith close to him. He lay her down beside him and placed his head in the crook of her neck.

"Mmm..." She moaned as she felt his breath against her neck

"Shh..." Derek whispered "... Just relax" she whispered once more before running his finger in circles over her back to relax her.

**

_Flashback:_

"_That meal was amazing" Derek said as he patted his mouth with a napkin "You sure you don't want some wine?" He asked as he hovered the bottle over Meredith's empty glass of what used to be water_

"_No I'm fine" Meredith said smiling at him_

"_So thanks for suggesting this, I've been so wrapped up in work I forgot what great date looks like" Derek said before taking a sip of his wine_

"_Yeah, It really was a great idea, Izzie's actually" Meredith said as she buried her face in the dessert menu_

"_Izzie? Why would Izzie tell you to go on a date with me?" Derek asked with a confused look across his face_

"_Erm... well, because" Meredith began_

"_Can I take your dessert order?" a waiter suddenly asked._

_Meredith diverted her attention from Derek and looked at her menu_

"_Erm yeah I'll have the fruitcake" Meredith said as she handed the menu to the waiter before looking at Derek who still had the same confused look on his face._

"_I'll have the same" Derek said as he handed his menu to the waiter but never taking his eyes of Meredith "... Continue" Derek said to her_

"_What?" Meredith replied_

"_Izzie told you to bring me here because..." Derek said as he took a sip of his wine_

"_Because..." Meredith begun "... I'm pregnant" She said as she stared at him_

"_What..." Derek coughed almost choking on his wine. He placed it back down onto the table and stared at her intently "You're pregnant?" He asked just to clarify what she had just said_

"_Yeah, as in with a baby, like there's a baby inside me. Like, you... Knocked me up, if there's a better word for it..." Meredith said as she sat staring at a bemused Derek_

"_I knocked you up?" Derek said in shock_

"_Ok now is not a good time to mock me Derek" Meredith said trying not to laugh_

"_Sorry it's just, it's..." Derek began_

"_Terrifying, and I understand if you're hesitant, shocked, and upset that I didn't tell you sooner, I was just..." _

"_Oh my god..." Derek interrupted before standing up and walking over to Meredith's side of the table. He bent down and suddenly kissed her passionately on the lips before pulling away and started to run his fingers through her hair "You're pregnant" He grinned_

"_Yeah" Meredith smilied almost crying. She could feel the tears begin to well up in her eyes._

"_I love you so much" Derek said as he kissed her forehead_

"_I love you too" She smiled as tears began to run down her cheek bones_

"_We're having a baby" Derek said with a huge grin on his face_

"_Yeah, we are" She smiled_

"_You're desserts" The waiter said as he placed the two bowls onto the table_

"_Sorry we won't be needing these" Derek said to the waiter "Can I have to cheque please" Derek smiled as he sat back down in his seat before reaching across the table for Meredith's hand._

"_Yes sure" The waiter said before walking away to get the cheque_

"_What why are we not eating these?" Meredith asked as she pointed at her cake_

"_Because I'm taking you home and we are going to celebrate" Derek smiled as he signed the waiter's cheque. He reached across the table and held onto Meredith's hand guiding her out of the restaurant._

**

Meredith and Derek both lay in the on-call room in a deep slumber. They were wrapped in each other's arms, when suddenly one of their pagers went off. Meredith moaned as she opened her eyes and reached for her pager on the waist band of her scrubs.

"Derek... Derek, it's yours" Meredith moaned as she elbowed Derek who was still sleeping behind her

"What?" Derek said as he rubbed his eyes

"Your pager" Meredith said as she began to sit up

"Oh" Derek said as he reached for his pager "It's the pit" he said.

"Ok go, I'll pick Abz up, it's fine" Meredith said

"Ok" Derek said as he sat up behind her. He then inched his head closer to the back of her neck and breathed her in. As he was doing so Meredith could feel his presence behind her and flinched at the chilling feeling he was giving her. Derek then tilted his head and moved her hair to the side slightly before slowly kissing her neck. Meredith moaned at the sensation he was giving her then reached behind and placed her hand on his face before turning her head and kissing him softly using her tongue. He placed his hands around her waist and she returned the gesture by turning in his arms and sat to saddle his body she the placed her palms either side of his face. He captured her lips once more before laying her down and sinking her back into the bed. He placed himself in-between her legs and ran his hands over the curves of her body as he continued to kiss her.

"Mmm..." Meredith moaned as she ran her hands through his hair while she continued to kiss him keenly.

Suddenly Derek's pager sounded again

"Mm..." Derek moaned in frustration as he reached for the waist band of his scrubs and pulled his pager free

"Ignore it" Meredith whispered breathlessly as she kissed Derek's neck slowly

"I can't" Derek said.

Derek leant down and kissed Meredith delicately once more before lifting himself off her and walking towards to door and opening it slightly

"See you later" He smiled before exiting and closing the door behind him.

_**Ok so it's exactly 3:24am and I'm not even tired lol. **_

_**He-He I've just watched the episode of Grey's which is called 'Let It Be' in season 2. That the one where Addie and Derek's close friend come from New York. And I got a little inspired by the last scene with Meredith and Derek. You know the one where Mer walks onto the elevator and she tells Derek that she misses him and he walks up behind her and smells her hair! Ahh I miss those days, the 'Smelling each other in elevator' day's as Bailey would call it =)**_

_**I've written a good chapter for somewhere in the future but I don't know where to put it LOL! But some good stuff is going to happen =p so stick around folks**_

_**Reviews Please I'm begging you! xoxo**_


	10. Flirting In The Shadows

Alot of things had happened in the last four weeks. Meredith saved the life of a woman from certain death. She and Derek had overcome most of their problems. They had grown closer as a family.

It was the early hours of Monday morning and both Derek and Meredith were due in for work at 6am. The two had spent the night together in complete harmony. They treated themselves to an early night, once putting Abbey to bed they locked themselves in their bedroom and got lost in a world of their own. Derek lingered himself above Meredith's sweaty body, kissing and licking her chest. She felt stuck, safe, and unable to move from the stable situation she found herself in. She loved this moment afterwards, the moment when she came back down to earth, she felt so secure in his arms.

"What time is it?" Derek said breathlessly raising his head from Meredith's neck

"... Erm..." Meredith panted as she shifted underneath Derek "... Almost 4"

"Mmm..." Derek moaned as he reached down take Meredith's lips with his own

"That was..." Meredith spoke between kisses "...Derek?" Meredith whispered into his ear

"Mmm..." he replied as he continued to kiss her collar bone

"I love you" She said

Derek lifted his head from her chest and stared into her eyes intensely, before breaking into a smile

"I love you too" he grinned before leaning back down to kiss her

"Mmm..." she moaned into his mouth as he begun to pleasure her.

Derek placed one of his hands on her thigh and gripped onto her hand with the other as he guided himself inside her once more.

"Oh..." Meredith cried as she felt him push inside her. She closed her eyes and her mouth fell open as the first waves of delight began to hit her again.

**XXXX**

She'd had a busy morning at work, trauma after trauma and interns who don't know their asses from their esophagus. Meredith was sitting in the attending's lounge pecking at her lunch as she filled out some charts.

"Hey" a voice sounded entering the room

"Hey Lex" Meredith replied placing her fork down in her food

"You ok?" Lexie asked as she took a seat next to Meredith

"Yeah, just feeling a bit under the weather, I'm fine" Meredith replied with a smile "Ew..." she mouthed to herself as she pushed her plate across the table slightly

"So Mark and I going away this weekend" Lexie began

"Really?" Meredith replied as she placed her pen to the paper

"Yeah, it's our two year anniversary on Friday? Remember?" She continued "Are you gonna finish that?" Lexie asked as she pointed at Meredith barely eaten lunch

"What...?" Meredith said as she snapped out of her gaze

"You're lunch?" Lexie replied motioning to Meredith lunch once more

"... Oh, sorry it's all yours" Meredith smiled weakly "... I'm gonna go, there's a thing I have to... do" Meredith said as she stood up gathering her paper's before walking towards the door

"Take it easy" Lexie shouted before Meredith closed the door behind her.

**XXXXX**

The time was around 6:30pm and Meredith still had hours left on her shift. Her stomach had taken a turn and she had been feeling nauseous 70% of the day. She decided to call it quits and went to see the chief to get permission to leave early.

"Hey have you seen Meredith?" Derek said as he approached Lexie who was suturing up a patient in the clinic

"Erm yeah, a few hours ago. She wasn't feeling well" Lexie said as she continued to suture

"Do you know where she is now?" Derek asked

"Sorry no" Lexie said as she placed the needle down on the table to look up at Derek

"Ok well if you see her tell her I'm looking for her?" Derek asked with a smile

"Sure" Lexie replied as she began to wrap a large band aid around her patients arm

Once Derek left the clinic he headed towards the chief's office. As he walked over the bridge, 200 feet in the air above the main lobby when he saw Meredith exit the chief's office

"Hey you ok?" He asked placing his hand on her arm

"I'm just under the weather, the chief said I can go home early" she smiled as she rested her head on his chest before wrapping her arms around his waist like a little child

"Hey, you'll be ok" Derek assured her pulling away and moving a piece of hair from her eye "You want me to pick Abbey up?"

"No she's round Izzie's. I'm just going to head home" Meredith replied

"Ok see you later" Derek smiled as he pecked her on the lips

"Yeah" Meredith replied before walking across the bridge.

**XXXXX**

Later one that evening Derek decided to make a quick trip the Joe's bar. Abbey was with Izzie and Meredith probably at home in bed, so a few drink wouldn't hurt.

"Double scotch, single malt?" Joe asked as Derek took a seat at the bar

"You got it Joe" Derek laughed as he pulled his phone from his pocket to see if he had any messages

"Another vodka and tonic please Joe" a familiar voice sounded beside him.

"Hey" Derek said with a smile

"Hi" Dr Patterson replied

"You come here?" Derek asked looking pretty surprised

"Yes, I do have a life outside that hospital you know" she laughed

"Here you go Derek" Joe said as he handed is drink over to him

"Thanks" Derek replied holding up his drink to him before taking a sip

"So where's your wife?" Dr Patterson asked as she took a seat next to Derek

"At home, she wasn't feeling well..." he replied but stopped when he noticed her gazing at him "Dr Patterson...?" Derek spoke

"Kim, my names Kim" She replied taking a sip of her drink

"Kim?" He smiled "So where's your daughter?" he asked casually as he took a sip of his drink

"Oh she at him with my mom" Kim replied placing her drink down on the counter

"Oh..." Derek said nodding his head

"Her dads not really around that much so my mom stepped to help when im working" She began

"Oh I'm sorry" Derek replied

"It's ok, we didn't really have the best relationship, she we just called it quits" Kim carried on before taking another sip of her drink "Yeah I should go I'm feeling a bit... you know" She said as she began to stand up

"No... Stay, it's fine" Derek said as he held onto her drink

"Are you sure?" Kim asked placing her drink back onto the bar

"Yes its fine, stay, sit" He smiled.

**

"Meredith's gonna be so pissed she missed this" Cristina said. She, George and Alex were sitting at a table at the other end of the room, and Derek was in clear view of them all.

"What is he doing flirting with that intern" Alex asked

"He's not flirting" George cut in

"He so is, just look at them laughing and joking" Alex replied

"He's not, Derek wouldn't do that not too Mer, he's just talking to her" George replied

"Ok then George prove it!" Cristina shot in

"What?" George asked in confusion as he played with the straw in his drink

"Go over there and ease drop" Cristina ordered

"Are you kidding me?" George protested "... No"

"Do it O'Malley" Alex said raising his voice as he nudged George of his stool

"Ok, ok fine, I'm going" George stated before walking over to the bar.

He stood inches away from Derek and Kim ease dropping as much as he could

"Dr O'Malley" Kim cheered when she saw him take a seat behind Derek

"George" Derek said as he turned around to find George sitting behind him.

"Hi, I was just ordering drinks" he pointed out nervously

"Right" Derek nodded

"Ok well thanks for the drink Dr Shepherd, I guess I better get going, tell your wife I said hi" She said with a smile before heading towards the door

George took this as the right time to sneak away from Derek. He slid off his stool and begun to head back to his table when he heard his name being called, he turned around a noticed Derek staring at him with a slight frown on his face.

"Dr Shepherd?" George said as he walked back over to Derek

"I know what you are thinking and what you and your friends thought you saw but It wasn't that. I have no interest in Ki... Dr Patterson. And if you think I'm capable of doing something like that to Meredith then you can think again. So you can go and tell your little friends that" Derek said, suddenly his pager went off "Goodnight Dr O'Malley" Derek finished before picking up his coat and heading back to the hospital.

"He was just talking to her" George said as sat back down at the table "Who's she talking to?" George said pointing to Cristina

"Meredith" Alex mumbled as he shoved bar nuts into his mouth

"WHAT!" George shouted "Cristina!" He shouted again

"Ok Mer I gotta go" She said before hanging up the phone

"You did not just tell her?" George said almost looking as if he was going to cry

"Ha-ha. No I didn't I called to let her know the chief wants us all in early tomorrow jeez O'Malley relax" Cristina laughing

Suddenly everyone's pager began to sound around the table

"911" Cristina said as she looked at her pager, she looked up and noticed a few more pagers sounding throughout the bar

"Must be an accident" George said as he held up his own pager

"Come let's go" George said before standing up grabbing his coat

_**For some reason I feel as if this fic loosing life a little, do you think it is?**_

_**But I have an excuse today! I'm feeling really nauseous, so I decided to camp out in bed and write this.... Sorry if it's dull.**_

_**I've thought of a really good idea for this story, he-he it's really sad. =(**_

_**But it's good. And it involves poor Mer Derek to, but it has a more saddening effect on her. I can't wait to write about it. It's going to be fun.**_

_**So I'm sitting in the dark, in my bed and its oooh.... **Look's onto the floor for alarm clock, yes it lives on the floor lol** ....12:38am and there's a freaking fly, flying around my laptop screen Grrr.... LOL!**_


	11. No Use Lying

_Suddenly everyone's pager began to sound around the table_

"_911" Cristina said as she looked at her pager, she looked up and noticed a few more pagers sounding throughout the bar_

"_Must be an accident" George said as he held up his own pager_

"_Come let's go" George said before standing up grabbing his coat_

**XXXXX**

Every attending was paged into the hospital that night, including Meredith. There had been a car pileup and the freeway closest to Seattle Grace so you can expect all the traumas would be sent there. Shortly after arriving at the hospital, Meredith changed into her indigo scrubs and made her way to the pit for multiple consults.

The time was around 4:30am and Meredith had finished her second craniotomy, and she made her way to the surgical floor nurse's station to fill out some post op paper work. She suddenly heard a nurse say her husband's famous nickname McDreamy. '_This is going to be interesting, what is it this time?'_ she thought. She decided to ease drop in on the conversation that two scrub nurses were having in the office behind her.

"So I heard McDreamy has his eye on that intern" the first nurse spoke

"No he doesn't, it's the other way around, I heard that Dr Patterson has a thing for him" the second said

"Well that's not what I heard plus I saw them drinking together a Joe's last night" the first replied

"Shut up! You did not" the second gasp

"I did ask Tyler, better yet ask Debbie, they were all over each other" the first replied

"Well, I don't believe that, I heard from a source, whose name I shall not mention. That they are trying for another baby" the seconded shot back

Meredith gasped in disbelief, as she tried to hold her tears back; she piled her paperwork into her tiny arms and walked down the corridor into the nearest oncall room. Once inside she dropped her papers onto the floor and collapsed onto the bed. As she lay on her back with her arm over her face trying to fight the tears when she suddenly heard someone move on the bed above her.

"I'm trying to sleep here" the voice sounded tiredly

"Cristina?" Meredith asked removing her hand from her head

"What?" She replied unenthusiastically

"Sorry, I didn't know you were in here" said Meredith as she lifted herself up and sat herself on the edge of the bed. As she leaned down to tidy the mass of paperwork on the floor she saw to legs fold down off the top buck. Cristina hopped of the bed and took a seat beside Meredith.

"What's up?" Cristina asked as she stared at her person

"Nothing" Meredith choked

"Just for the record, you suck at lying. What is it Mer?" Cristina asked once more as she lay back and placed her head on the pillow

"I heard..." Meredith began as she lay back and placed her head next to Cristina's on the pillow "... I heard the nurses talking, about Derek" she continued

"Oh yeah? About?" Cristina asked as she placed her hands behind her head.

"He was at Joe's with that intern" Meredith replied trying not to let her emotions get the better of her

"Yeah he was" Cristina admitted

"What?" Meredith shouted as she shot up her head in astonishment "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Oh maybe because I was busy saving lives" Cristina said as she sat up beside her person "Mer it's not as bad as it sounds. He was only having a drink with her nothing happened. We watched the whole thing. And we made O'Malley ease drop on them" Cristina replied before giggling at the reminder of George spying on Derek.

"Whatever!" Meredith said before lying her head back down on the pillow "Oh and have you heard, we're trying for a baby!"

"Seriously?" Cristina gasp

"No. Cris, you know I'm not ready for that. But according to the freaking nurses I am. They're ridiculous"

"Mer you always said you wanted another. And it's been what? Almost a year since... you know" Cristina replied

"I know, but it's hard, I'm scared to go through that again, to feel that pain again. I can't, I don't know if I can handle another baby. I mean we talked about it, having another and he said he'd wait until I was ready, but I can see it in his eye's he's ready" Meredith began

"Well he's just going to have to be patient, and wait. Don't let him pressure you into something you're not ready for." Cristina said

"Yeah but what if I'm never going to be ready...?" Meredith said rubbing her eye's before letting out a gentle moan

"... Men suck!" Meredith sniffled trying while trying to hold back her tears.

"Yep" Cristina agreed before throwing her head back on to the pillow next to Meredith's.

**XXXX**

It was 6am and Meredith had just finished rounding on some of her patients. She stepped onto the elevator and pressed the button for the surgical floor. She had a surgery in 10 minutes so she decided to do some last minute prep work. As the doors opened on the surgical floor the stepped out and made her way to the nurse's station. Once she finished her paperwork she walked towards OR1's scrub room. When she entered she saw Derek standing at the sink scrubbing out. She slowly began to back out of the room when she realised he hadn't noticed her enter.

"Hi" Derek greeted as he turned is head

"Hey" Meredith laughed nervously as she stopped moving over the door

"What are you doing?" Derek asked as he grabbed a paper towel from the holder

"Erm... just checking if the OR was ready" She said still standing in the door way

"Right" Derek replied looking at her in confusion "... Ok?"

"So...?" Meredith began as she walked into the scrub room closing the door behind her "What did you do last night? You know before the pile up?" she asked, wondering if he was going to tell the truth about Dr Patterson

"I went to Joe's" He replied with a smile "... and had a few drinks. You?" he replied

"Watched TV" She replied nodding her head, she looked up at him and begun to stare into his eyes trying to read him. If she didn't already know the truth then she probably would have believed him.

"Why are you lying to me Derek?" Meredith asked suddenly

"What?" Derek replied with a frown

"You were drinking with that intern"

"Kim? Yes I was, and I didn't lie to you, I just never got that far" He replied

"Oh so, this is what it's like when I'm not around. You go off and have drinks and flirt with younger beautiful women?" Meredith said she could feel the anger building inside her

"Meredith I was not flirting, I just bought her a drink, and I don't _go off and flirt with other women_" Derek replied sarcastically

"Don't mock me Derek" Meredith said heatedly

"Meredith whatever you heard it was wrong, you know I would never hurt you like that. You can trust me" He begged

"Oh like the time I trusted you and you're wife showed up or like the time you kissed a scrub nurse or when you reassured and promised me everything would be find with our son, and then he..." She sobbed before breaking down in tears in front of him.

"Meredith!" Derek snapped lightly gripping both his hands on her shoulders

"Whatever... I can't Derek... I can't do this with you, just leave..." She shouted pushing his hands away from her body

Derek stood gazing before her in complete amazement

"GO!" she yelled once more in tears

He did as she ordered and walked out of the scrub room leaving her alone to calm down. He hurried past Mark who was standing near the nurse's station.

"Derek..." Mark shouted, he knew something wasn't right so he followed him down the hall into an on-call room

"Derek...?" He said once more before closing the on-call room door "... Hey buddy what's going on?" Mark asked when he saw his friend pacing the room almost in tears

"Derek!" Mark shouted as he put his hand on Derek's arm

"It's Meredith" Derek began as he stopped and stared at Mark "She... She blames herself for Christopher and I... I..." Derek mumbled before taking a seat on the bed

"Derek, It's not her fault or yours, things just happen, and we can't explain why" Mark began taking a seat next to Derek

"It's just..." Derek replied, his eyes had began to swell and he could feel tears begin to surface "It's so hard for her, she misses him so much and I... I can't help her" He sobbed

"Maybe you can't help her, maybe this is something greater than you. But you can be there, hold her and let her know that it's all going to be ok, and that she will get through it" Mark explained

"It's just she held it all in for so long and now I... if she starts to blames herself again I don't think she will be able to cope with the stress. It almost destroyed her last time and I can't just sit here and watch her... see her go through it all again" Derek said almost sobbing.

"Buddy its ok all you have to do is be there for her. Take care of her, and you'll be fine, you guy's will get through this." Mark replied as he rubbed his hand cross Derek's shouldered for reassurance.

Suddenly the sound of Derek's pager filled the room. He unclipped it from his jacket pocket.

"The chief, I gotta go..." Derek said as he stood up "... Thanks man" He finished before heading out the door.

**XXXXX**

The time was around 8pm and the atmosphere in the hospital had died down so the chief sent Meredith home. As she pulled into her driveway she saw Izzie's car parked outside. She locked up her car and walked into her house.

"Mommy" She heard Abbey call as she ran over to her mom

"Hey honey" Meredith said as he bent down to hug her daughter "What you doing?"

"Playing with aunt Izzie and Liam" She smiled

"Izzie? Why's Izzie here?" Meredith asked in confusion

"To baby sit me" Abbey smiled

"Oh where's daddy?" Meredith asked as she removed a strand of hair from Abbey's face

"He's busy upstairs" She smiled

"Ok go play with Liam and I'll be back down in a minute ok?" Meredith before smiling at Abbey

"Mommy are you ok? Have you been crying?" Abbey asked as he placed a finger between Meredith's red bloodshot eyes. She had clearly been crying and she knew that Abbey knew it.

"Mommy will be fine sweetie" Meredith said as she ran her fingers through her daughter's fine blonde hair

"Are you sure?" Abbey asked considerately

"Yeah, go on" she replied before Abbey ran back into the living room.

Meredith stood up and walked to the living room door and began to watch Izzie as she played with the kids on the floor

"Hey Mer, you ok sweetie?" Izzie said with a sympathetic smile when she saw Meredith watching them

"Yeah" Meredith replied smiling slightly

"... He's on the phone upstairs" Izzie said

"Thanks" Meredith grinned before heading up the stairs

As she made her way across the landing she could here Derek talking on the phone. She opened her bedroom door and saw a suitcase on the bed half packed with Derek's belongings inside. She knew the fight that morning was bad but she never thought it would result in something like this.

"Derek?" Meredith said before she closed the bedroom door "What are you doing?" she asked pointing to the suitcase. Derek didn't speak; he just carried on packing his suitcase

"Derek what's going on, Is this about the fight this morning? Look I'm sorry. I was pissed and overreacting I didn't mean... Derek don't leave!" Meredith begged almost in tears as she inched her way over to him

"Mer..." Derek said as he placed his hand on her cheek "... I have to go. The chief's sending me too Florida"

"What?" Meredith asked

"They have a patient over there whose too unstable to transport to Seattle so they need me go fly down" He explained as he ran his hand from her cheek into her hair "I know, you didn't mean what you said. Its ok, I know it's hard. But you need to believe that you can trust me. You're the love of my life. I will _never_ leave you. You're the most beautiful, smart, funniest person I have ever met. You're an amazing mother and wife. And Christopher... You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened because it wasn't you fault. It just... Wasn't meant to be..." he cut off as when he noticed her eyes flood with tears. He pulled her into his warm body and embraced her tightly, and held her as she sobbed "... He's at peace now" he whispered into her ear before kissing to top of her head.

"I'll only be gone for a few day's..." He said pulling away from her and placing his thumb under her chin "If you need me, even to just hear my voice then call. And time ok?" He said as he looked into her eyes

"Ok" she sniffled before whipping the tears from her face.

"Are you going to be ok?" he asked with a slight smile

"Yeah. I got everything covered, and Abbey will be fine" Meredith reassuring him

"I know she will" Derek smiled kissing Meredith on her head before pulling her into a firm embrace once more.

**XXXXX**

"Meredith!" Derek shouted as he neared the bottom of the stairs

"Yeah" Meredith replied as she rush down the stairs after Derek

"Can you take this too the car? I'm gonna say goodbye to Abs" Derek said as he handed his bags to Meredith

"Yeah sure..." Meredith said before wheeling his suitcase towards the front door "... Abbey..." Meredith said as she walked up to the living room archway.

"Yeah?" Abbey replied looking up at her mom

"Daddy wants to talk to you" Meredith asked as she motioned her head towards Derek who's was standing at the bottom of the stairs adjusting his watch.

"Ok" Abbey replied before standing up and walking out of the room.

"Mer? What's going on?" Izzie asked in confusion as she stood up and walked over to her

"Derek's been called to Florida for a consult" Meredith explained as she reached for her car keys on the side table

"Are you gonna be ok here, you know, on your own?" Izzie asked sounding concerned

"Yeah I'll be fine, I have Abbey" Meredith replied as watched Derek kiss his daughter goodbye

**

"Ok you have everything?" Meredith asked as she loaded Derek's bag into the car

"Yeah I think so" Derek smiled as he looked deeply into Meredith swelled up eyes

"Ok" Meredith said softly before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek

Once she pulled away, Derek quickly glided his hand behind her head and pulled her into a passionate lip lock

"I love you" Derek said once he pulled away from her

"I know" Meredith replied with a smile before they walked hand in hand towards the driver's door. Once Derek had buckled himself into his seat he wound down his window.

"Ok I'll see you when I get back" Derek smiled

"Yeah" Meredith before leaning down and kissing his through the open window "... I love you"

"I love you too, take care of yourself." Derek replied.

Meredith then pulled her head out of the window and watched as Derek pulled out of the drive way and drove into the dark night.

_Ok so i could explain but i'm gonna let you find out in the next chapter =D_

_And thanks for the support and stuff I'm glad that's how you guys feel. It made me feel alot better about this Fic and myself. I'm pretty proud of this chapter so pleeeasse review! _

_Love you guy's seriously I do!_


	12. Missing Glasses

_**Ok so this chapters sad so get the tissues =( I'm just warning you! =p**_

_**Poor Mer she going through alot at the moment, with no Derek by her side! Don't worry it won't be like this forever. I hope =/ Anyway's enjoy! =D**_

"_Ok I'll see you when I get back" Derek smiled_

"_Yeah" Meredith before leaning down and kissing his through the open window "... I love you"_

"_I love you too, take care of yourself." Derek replied._

_Meredith then pulled her head out of the window and watched as Derek pulled out of the drive way and drove into the dark night._

**XXXX**

Derek had been away for two days. He had called his wife every minute he could. Meredith missed him so much, they had never been apart since they got married especially being that far apart. Derek had been called for a consult in Florida, because the patient was too unstable to be airlifted to Seattle.

Meredith lay in her bed wide awake looking at the ceiling, she hadn't slept since he left, and the constant churning of her stomach didn't help. Looking over to her left the clock read 5:13am. She was due in to start her shift a 6am. She slowly pulled herself out of bed and walked into her ensuite bathroom. She held herself up over her sink and stared at her reflection in the mirror. '_I look like death'_ she thought to herself. Her skin was pale and she had bags under her sore cried out eyes. Once she changed into some clothes and tied her hair up in a messy pony tail. She headed towards Abbey's room to get her ready for daycare. As she walked down the hall she heard a soft giggle coming from down stairs. She frowned slightly and headed down the stairwell and walked into the kitchen to find Izzie making breakfast and Cristina sitting at the table with Abbey.

"What are you guys doing here?" Meredith asked as she walked over to Abbey running her fingers through her fine hair before taking a seat next to Cristina.

"We're making you breakfast, well I'm making you breakfast Cristina's just drinking all the coffee" Izzie said as she smiled as Cristina

"Yeah well I wouldn't be if you didn't knock on my door at 5 this morning" Cristina scoffed as she continued to help Abbey colour in her picture

"Just shut up and help me with breakfast. Mer needs a nice strong breakfast before work today" Izzie continued as she flipped the pancakes.

"Whatever" Cristina replied as she stood up and walked over to Izzie

"Mommy? Are you feeling better?" Abbey asked as she placed her crayon down on the table

"Yeah sweetie. Don't worry I'm fine" Meredith replied before standing up and walking around the table and lifting Abbey up onto her lap.

"She's so cute" Izzie whispered as she stared at Meredith and her daughter sitting at the table colouring

"Yeah she is, where's Liam?" Cristina asked as she dipped her finger into the pancake mixture

"Oh he's at his dads. You know he spends more time there than he does with me at the these days" Izzie continued

"What's Alex got that you don't have?" Cristina asked as she sucked on her batter covered finger

"Mmm... well let's see a rich girlfriend a huge house oh and did I mention the girlfriend" Izzie replied

"How did we get here?" Izzie said quietly as she continued to gaze at Meredith and Abbey

"Were?" Cristina replied

"Here, like I never imagined any of us having kids, or... Losing kids, I mean here I am making breakfast for someone else's child and... I just..."

"What...? Izzie, what?" Cristina asked

"I mean look at her, she barely hanging on. I can see it in her eyes she just wants to give up. The only thing keeping her upright is Abbey and today is anniversary of Christopher's death, I just... don't know how she gets out of bed" Izzie explained

"She's strong, she's overcome alot. She'll be fine. She's just gonna be feeling pain for a while" Cristina replied before walking over to the table taking a seat next to a beaten up Meredith.

**XXXXX**

The time was around 11:30am and Meredith lay in the on-call in the dark; she locked the door and closed the blinds. Shutting herself from the world. The only person she needed most was not here. Lost in her thoughts she barely felt her phone vibrate against her stomach. She pulled her phone from her scrub waist band and flipped it open.

"Hello" She said weakly as she whipped away her tears

"_Hi baby, how are you?" Derek asked attentively_

"Hi, I'm... you know, trying to hold it together" She replied

"_I know. Today's hard on both of us. I'm here for you as much as I can be" _

"I know you are, I just wish you were here, here, you know. I miss you, when are you coming home?" Meredith asked

"_I don't know, in the next few days a hope. My patient's developed complications" Derek explained_

There was a moment of silence between them both.

"_Mer you there?" Derek asked_

"Oh Derek..." Meredith begun to snivel

"_Hey, hey, Mer its ok don't cry. Listen to me... Meredith listen to me" Derek begun as he heard the sound of Meredith's sobs down the phone_

"I can't Derek, I just... This isn't fair. He should be here in my arms. It was my job to protect him, for those nine months, all I had to do was keep him safe and I couldn't even do that. Derek I killed our son, I killed... I killed him" Meredith choked back here tears

"_Meredith, Mer. It's wasn't your fault you need to believe that, it just happened. You didn't kill him; you can't keep blaming yourself..." Derek tried to reassure her_

"I gotta go" Meredith wept

"_Ok, just get some rest. Go home if you have to, or go to Cristina's, I don't want you being alone tonight... I love you" he replied before waiting for a response. _

"...... I love you too" She replied before hanging up.

Meredith blamed herself for her son's death. Even though Derek told her time and time again it wasn't her fault she couldn't feel anything but responsible. She didn't take the news well the moment she found out her son had died her world collapse around her, learning that her son laid motionless inside her made her nauseous even to this day.

Meredith remained in the on-call room with all these emotions of guilt and sadness running through her. She lay her head back down onto the pillow and closed her eyes. She eventually drifted off into a slumber.

**

_Flashback – Meredith was at this point 24 weeks pregnant with her son. Derek was working and she and Izzie had the day off so she decided to help Izzie move into her new 'Alex free apartment' as they liked to call it._

"_Izzie seriously what's in all these boxes?" Meredith asked as she unloaded Izzie's boxes from her car_

"_Meredith what are you doing, your pregnant you're not support to be lifting anything" Izzie shouted as she rushed to Meredith side grabbing a large box from her tiny hands_

"_Izzie I'm fine, it's a box, it's not going to kill me. I can handle it" Meredith replied as she continued to stack Izzie's boxes onto the sidewalk_

"_Yeah it's mostly Alex's stuff you know like DVD's, electronics, ornaments. Does he seriously think I'm going to let him break up our relationship and take everything? Nope!"_

_Meredith giggled and shook her head as Izzie made her way inside the apartment building leaving her alone outside._

"_Ok so where's this one going?" Meredith asked as she carried a large box towards the sidewalk, not realising Izzie wasn't present. Suddenly the weight of the box got the better of her and she tripped over the curb dropping the box as she fell. She landed stomach first onto the concrete and let out a loud yelp; she slowly raised herself up and sat on the curb holding her stomach._

"_Hey Mer have you got that box..." She said before suddenly being cut of as she spotted Meredith sitting on the floor holding her stomach tightly._

"_Oh my god Mer, are you ok?" Izzie asked as she rushed over to Meredith side_

"_Ah..." Mer moaned gripping her stomach before inhaling beep breathes_

"_Mer?" Izzie spoke once more as she knelt down in front of her friend_

_Meredith continued to breath in and out slowly for a moment before looking up at Izzie_

"_I'm fine, ok... I'm fine" She smiled positively_

"_Are you sure? Do you want me to call you an ambulance in case?" Izzie asked as she tucked a piece of Meredith's hair behind her ear_

"_No I'm fine, he's kicking, he's fine" She reassured her before attempting to stand up. Izzie gripped onto her hand and helped her up to her feet. "Look why don't we take a rest, go upstairs and..." Meredith began_

"_No, I'm taking you to the hospital" Izzie suggested_

"_Izzie the hospitals half an hour away, besides I can feel him kicking, my bladder! Just... It's fine" Meredith protested as Izzie pulled on her arm trying to get her to the car_

"_No, Meredith get in the car. I'm going to take these boxes into the apartment then we are going to the hospital. Now shut up and get in" Izzie ordered as she opened the car door for Meredith._

_xxx_

_Once Meredith and Izzie arrived at the hospital she pulled up right outside the ER doors._

"_Meredith slow down" Izzie shouted as Meredith climbed out of the car_

"_Izzie he's not kicking" Meredith cried as she arched her body over holding onto Izzie's hand_

"_Mer it's going to be ok..." Izzie reassured her as they rushed into the ER "... Someone page Shepherd" She shouted as she helped Meredith into a trauma room._

_As Izzie helped Meredith onto the exam table Miranda Bailey burst into the room_

"_What's going on in here?" She asked_

"_She fell and landed on her stomach" Izzie explained _

"_He not kicking, Dr Bailey! He's not moving" Meredith cried_

"_Ok Steven's get the sonogram equipment stat!" Miranda said as she walked over to Meredith as she put on her gloves "Ok Meredith lift up your top for me" as Meredith did so Dr Bailey suddenly gasp._

"_What? What is it?" Meredith asked looking over her bare stomach at Dr Bailey_

"_You have a large bruise on your abdomen, don't panic!" Dr Bailey asked, suddenly Izzie came walking in the room with a large machine_

"_Ok I got it" Izzie said as she wheeled the sonogram machine over to Meredith side_

"_Ok..." Dr Bailey said as she stood up and begun to set up the apparatus_

"_Derek, you have to page Derek" Meredith said as she gripped onto Izzie's hand_

"_They've paged him, don't worry it's going to be fine" Izzie said calmly_

"_Meredith!" Derek said breathlessly as she entered the room rushing to her side. He nodded to Izzie to leave and she smiled back before squeezing Meredith hand and leaving the room_

"_I fell, and he was kicking like crazing and then he just stopped and I don't..." Meredith began as tears plummeted down her face_

"_Hey, hey it's going to be ok, he's fine, Meredith look at me" Derek said as he pulled her face towards him "... look at me, he's going to be fine, I promise he's fine, just calm down breath. He's fine" Derek said as he ran his fingers threw her hair_

"_Ok, we're ready" Dr Bailey said as she picked up the jelly "... This will be cold". _

_Miranda squirted the jelly on top of Meredith's stomach and began to move the wand around slowly looking for a heartbeat _

"_That's odd" Miranda said as she frowned at the screen_

"_What? Miranda, what?" Meredith asked._

_Bailey suddenly lifted the wand from her stomach and placed it down on the table, before looking at Derek who had tears building up in his eyes_

"_Oh my god" Derek said quietly_

"_I'm so sorry" Miranda said contently before placing her hand on Meredith arm _

"_No!" Meredith cried as she threw her head back into the table._

"_I'll leave you two alone" Miranda said before walking out the door_

"_Derek..." Meredith sobbed as she turned her head to look into his teary eyes "I'm so... I'm sorr..." Meredith choked as she held onto her stomach tightly._

_Derek laid his hand on top of her bare stomach and pulled her head down into his chest as he began to sob. He placed his lips on top of her head and ran his fingers threw her hair. They both sat still, lifeless in each other's arms morning the loss of their son._

_It had been a few hours since Meredith and Derek had found out about the fate of their son. But the hardest part was still yet to come. The delivery, this is the moment every mother looked forward to the most. Holding their child in their arms for the first time, but for Meredith it was the saddest moment._

"_Ok Meredith one last push" an OB resident said as Meredith lay on an exam table_

"_I... can't, I can't" Meredith cried as she lay covered in sweat and tears as she held Derek hand. She was in shock, she could not believe this was happening to her. Her family._

"_Mer you can do this" Derek sniffled as he wrapped his fingers in Meredith's hair._

"_Ok..." She whimpered, before pushing on last time_

"_Ok we got him" the resident said before taking him over to the exam table to wrap him up in a blanket. As she was doing so Meredith laid her head back into Derek's chest _

"_I'm so sorry Derek, I'm sorry..." she cried as tears flooded her eyes_

"_Shh, its ok, it's ok" Derek whispered as he held her close kissing her head softly_

"_Ok..." the OB resident said as she walked over to the couple with a small lifeless bundle in her arms "... Here you go" She finished as she handed Meredith her son_

"_Oh my god" Meredith said to herself quietly looking up at the ceiling as she held the small child in her arms_

"_I'll leave you alone" the resident said before leaving the room_

_As Meredith sat on the exam table holding her tiny son in her arm's. Derek lifted inself onto to table beside Meredith before wrapping him arms around Meredith to pull her into his chest for comfort. He then reached down and ran his thumb over his baby's head while they both sat still cradling their child._

_**Sad I know =(**_

_**Bless them, I hope you liked it.**_

_**Don't forget to review! xoxo**_


	13. Whatever Gets You Through Today

Meredith woke to the sound of her pager. She rubbed her swollen eyes before leaning to the floor to answer the page. '_The chief' _she thought to herself. Slowly pulling her head from the pillow, she sat uptight pulling her hair into a messy pony tail, before collecting her jacket and walking out of the room.

"Come in" the chief called as Meredith knock on his office door, "Meredith, take a seat" he said as she walked into the room closing the door behind her.

"How are you holing up?" He asked gently

"I'm fine" Meredith replied not so convincingly

"Meredith?" The chief asked once more as he leaned his arms onto his desk

Meredith said nothing. She diverted her stare out of the window to the world outside

"Look I know today, is hard for you, so if you need to go home then..."He said as he walked round to the front of the desk, standing in front of her.

"Really, I'm fine chief" Meredith assured him as she fidgeted in her seat

"Meredith?" He asked placing his hand on her shoulder

She stared up at him with a sorrowed look of complete despair, before breaking down before him. Richard held out his arms and she collapsed into them as she wept into his chest

"Listen, go home, get some rest, and spend time with Abbey... Come on I'll give you a ride." He suggested before reaching out his hand for her.

**XXXXX**

Once the chief dropped Meredith of at her house, he made sure she was safely inside.

"Ok..." Richard began as he watched Meredith take a seat on her couch "... Abbey's taking a nap in the study. I want you to get some sleep, you look warn down." He finished before kissing Meredith on the forehead before heading towards the front door.

"Chief?" Meredith called feebly

"Yes?" He replied turning around as he held onto the front door

"Thanks" She smiled faintly

"You're welcome Meredith" He said smiling before walking out the door

Meredith sat on the couch staring through the study doorway parallel to her, watching Abbey as she sleep. She knew she would be down for a few hours. She always slept for a great amount of time once coming home from daycare. Guess all the fun wore her out.

She couldn't get the memories out of her head, the memories of that fateful day. Today should be a day of celebration, not heartache, suddenly her cell began to ring, and she pulled it out of her pocket quickly and muted it before the sound woke her sleeping daughter in the next room. 'Derek' she thought as she looked at the caller ID.

"Hello" Meredith said as stood up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen

"_Hi, how you doing?" Derek replied_

"The chief sent me home, that how I'm doing. When are you coming home?" Meredith said as tears began to form in her eyes

"_Soon. Look I know, I promised I would be home as soon as I could, and to be honest I didn't expect my patient to develop complications, otherwise I would be home now, I'm sorry" He replied_

"Yeah, I bet you are" Meredith said irately

"_Hey, listen to me, don't you think I want to be there for you, I do Mer. It's just I can't ignore my job. I'm hurting too, but you're throwing all your anger at me and it's not helping. You don't understand how guilty I feel not being there for you" Derek explained_

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." Meredith began

"_I know, I know. Listen when I'm finished here I'm getting the first flight back to Seattle" Derek replied_

"Right... You know I haven't cried this much since that day, since he... and I can't... I can't do this. I can't sit here in front of Abbey and put on this strong face. I can't do it anymore, I know I said I could but I can't Derek, I jus..." Meredith began to sob

"_Meredith..." Derek choked back. He could feel his heart breaking as tears ran down his face. He hated seeing or even hearing Meredith like this. He just wanted to hold her be there for her "... You are an amazing mother and Abbey worships the ground you walk on. So don't you ever doubt yourself for a second. That girl is the most important thing... she's changed you, and for the past 4 and half years I've seen a different side of the Meredith I thought I knew, you're more beautiful than ever and you're stronger, and I know you can do this" Derek continued_

"I can't..." Meredith sobbed

She stood in the kitchen leaning against the fridge as she listened to him ramble on about how amazing she is, she turned to the dishwasher and pulled out a small shot glass, before walking back into the living room and opening the booze cabinet. She pulled out a bottle of tequila and placed it on the coffee table. She sat down on the couch and stared at it for a short period of time.

"_Meredith? You there?" Derek asked_

"Yeah I'm here" She replied still staring at the bottle of tequila in front of her

"_Look I'm going to try to be home as soon as I can. Just go to bed and don't do anything stupid ok" Derek replied_

"I won't" Meredith said with a frown

"_Ok see you soon. I love you" He replied_

"Ok, love you too" Meredith said before hanging up the phone.

She placed her phone on the coffee table beside the bottle of tequila which was still staring at her. She peered slightly into the study as saw Abbey asleep on the couch. _"Drinking time" _She thought to herself. She reached out for the sealed bottle. She hadn't touched a drop since she found out she was pregnant with Abbey, five years without a drink was pretty amazing in the Meredith Grey Chronicles. But at that moment she needed her friend back. The only friend that had been there for her in the past, and somehow made everything feel ok. She picked up the tequila bottle and held it in her lap _"Drinking time"_.

**XXXXX**

The morning sunrise glared through the curtains that covered Meredith's living room windows. She lay fast asleep on the couch. Abbey had been awake for some hours now but never got the nerve to wake her sleeping mother. She looked like she had just been hit by a truck which was not a great sight to see. Abbey sat on the floor beside Meredith who lay sleeping on the couch, as she continued playing with her dolls, she suddenly heard her mom stir

"Mommy?" Abbey said as she turned her head to face Meredith

Meredith didn't reply, she was still lost in her own dreams. Abbey got up on to her knees and ran her hand through Meredith's hair.

"Mommy?" Abbey asked once more. No answer. So Abbey lifted herself up and placed herself in front of Meredith on the couch, lying next to her. She backed herself up so her back was against Meredith's chest. She could feel her mom's breaths beside her. She was ok "its ok mommy I'm here" Abbey said quietly before closing her eyes.

**XXXXX**

Half an hour later a car pulled into the drive way. He needed to see her, be with her, nothing was going to keep him away. Derek pulled out his bag from the back seat of the car and made his way up to the front door. Once he unlocked the front door, he took of his coat and dropped his bag to the floor before turning around to see to sight before him. He tilted his head slightly when he saw his two favourite girls lying asleep on the couch. As he walked into the living room his eye's suddenly transfixed on the tequila bottle on the coffee table.

"Oh Meredith" He whispered as he picked it up and read the label. He placed the bottle back down onto the table and reach for Abbey who was napping in Meredith's arms.

"Hey sweetie" Derek whispered as he stroked Abbey head

"Daddy" Abbey whispered contentedly with a smile

"Come here" Derek said as he lifted Abbey from the couch before carrying her into the study

"Sweetie what are you doing down here?" Derek asked as he placed his daughter onto the chair.

"I woke up last night and found mommy asleep on the couch and I didn't want to wake her" She explained with an almost sad look on her face "... She's sad daddy and I don't know why. Is it me?" She asked as she gazed into Derek's eyes.

"What baby? No, no, no it not you. I promise" Derek replied as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Then why is she so sad?" Abbey asked as she fiddled with her bracelet on her wrist

"Ok..." Derek begun as he lifted her up onto his knee "... Do you remember your brother Christopher?"

"Yes" Abbey replied "He's in heaven?" She asked

"Yes, well mommy just sad because it was a year ago yesterday when he went to heaven, and she just misses him alot" Derek explained

"Oh, so she not mad at me?" Abbey asked

"No baby, mommy could never be mad at you. Ok?" Derek said as he kissed Abbey on the cheek

"Yes" She replied with a giggle

"Ok, so why don't you go up stairs I'm going to wake mommy up. Ok?" Derek said as he lowered Abbey to the floor "Gosh you're getting heavy"

"I'm 5, almost" She giggled

"I know" he smiled before watching her run out of the room towards to stairs.

Once he heard Abbey run into her room, he made his way into the living room and took a seat on the edge of the couch next to Meredith's torso. He began to run his finger through her hair before leaning down and kissing her on the forehead. He noticed she began to stir. Her eye's fluttered open and she let out a small grin when she saw the love of her life sitting beside her.

"Hi" Meredith said as she slowly sat up on the couch

"Hi" He replied with an almost disappointed look on his face

"What? Derek what?" Meredith asked as she gazed at him

Derek said nothing he just reached for the tequila bottle on the table and handed it to Meredith

"Derek I didn't..." She began

"... You might as well finish it off now" Derek interrupted her

"Derek! Don't" she pleaded

"Meredith? How could you? You've gotten so far, and with our daughter in the next room. What on earth were you thinking?" He said as he stood up in front of her with crossed arms

"Excuse me? Derek do you seriously think I would do that, I haven't touched the stuff in 5 years..." She began as she stared into his eyes. She then opened her mouth slightly when the realisation dawned on her "You really don't trust me? Do you?"

Derek stood still waiting for an explanation. She stood up and walked into the kitchen with the tequila bottle still in her hand. "Ok so, I'm just going to explain this to you as briefly as I can, because I really don't want to talk to you right now" Meredith said as she stood beside the sink.

"Ok" Derek replied as he stood next to the table watching her intensely.

"Number one, how dare you walk into this house and accuse me of something that you don't even know if I did. Number two, don't think you can abandon me at a time like this and expect me to forgive you in five minutes because you need an arm to lean on. You are freaking ridiculous..." she continued before tilting the bottle upside down and pouring the tequila down the sink "... oh and I didn't drink it any of it, I poured it down the sink." She shot at him before handing the bottle to him and storming out of the room.

"Meredith" Derek called as she walked up the stairs "Mer, wait" He shouted once more as he ran up the stairs after her. He followed her into Abbey's room where he found her in her closet

"Abbey go into the play room please" Derek said to his daughter who was sitting on the floor with a doll in her hand as she watched Meredith "Now!" Derek ordered

"Abbey don't move" Meredith said as he pulled out some clothes "Derek just go away" Meredith said as she handed the clothes to Abbey "Change into these sweetie mommy will be back in a second"

"Ok" Abbey said with confused look on her face as she watched Meredith leave her room

"Meredith talk to me" Derek said as he followed her once more into their bedroom.

She walked inside and turned to face Derek as he closed the bedroom door behind him. He turned and looked directly into her eyes. He could see the pain, the frustration.

"What can I do?" Was all he could say

"Just..." Meredith said before taking his face in her hands and kissing him passionately on the lips.

Derek placed his hands on top of hers and pulled them down to her side before pulling away

"Meredith" He whispered gently, as he lingered his lips inches away from hers

"I'm sorry" Meredith began to sob "I'm such a bitch" she replied before freezing and pulled her hand to her stomach

"Are you ok?" Derek asked

"Oh god" Meredith said before rushing into the bathroom

"Mer?" Derek said as he followed her, he entered their bathroom to find her leaning over the toilet.

"Hey, Hey." He said as he knelt behind her. He ran the palm of his hand up and down her spine as she hung her head over the toilet bowl. Once she had finished emptying her stomach she wiped her mouth with hand and let her head fall back into Derek's chest

"Are you ok?" Derek asked as he reached around to Meredith's stomach before rubbing it gently

"Yeah, I just have the flu or something" She replied as she fell back into his arms

"How long have you been sick for?" Derek asked as he held her in his arms

"Since before you left, so three or four days." She replied

"Ok listen you are going back into bed, I'm gonna call the chief and get you a few days off. You really shouldn't be working for going to make yourself I'll. I'll watch Abbey ok?" Derek said as she walked Meredith her bed

"I'm still mad at you" Meredith said as she pulled the covers over her tiny body

"I know" Derek replied throwing a cheeky smile at her before kissing her lightly on the lips

"Get some rest" Derek said as he ran his hand over her jaw line, before standing up and walking out of the room.

_So I like wrote this chapter but I was short, so I had to add a load to it, and it was mostly gibberish but, it's s'all goowd =D hope you like it... Sorry I know I haven't updated 'What I Am' in a while I was suffering a total mind blank on it but I've come up with a solution HA-ZARR (thumb up!), but I'm gonna get onto that right now so keep an eye out for the new update! REVIEW!!!! _


	14. All Down Hill From Here

Derek had managed to get Meredith next two days off work. Once he had made the call he made his way back up stairs and in to Abbey's room. He found her sitting on her bed obeying Meredith's earlier orders, to get changed into some clothes. Derek walked into the room and knelt in front of his daughter.

"Hey baby, are you ok?" Derek asked as he ran his thumb over Abbey tiny cheek

Abbey said nothing she just raise her head and gazed into Derek eyes. She had been crying, her eyes were all puffy and red and her tiny nose was a little snotty.

"Hey, come here" Derek said as he positioned his hands under her arms and lifted her onto his lap before wrapping his arms safely around her. She responded and firmly wrapped her arms around his shoulders before burying her head into his chest.

"Abs what's the matter?" Derek asked as he brushed the back of her hair

Abbey began to sob uncontrollably into her dad's chest. Derek began to rock her back and forth to calm her down. Once she had quietened down he pulled himself away to look at her face to face.

"Mommy..." Abbey finally spoke

"I know, I know. She's just not feeling very well right now. She didn't mean to scare you" He began as he wiped a little snot running from her nose "She loves you" Derek smiled as he brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"DEREK!" he suddenly heard Meredith shout from their bedroom

"Stay here" He said to Abbey kissing her on the cheek as he lifted her back onto her bed before exiting her room.

"What?" He replied to Meredith as he walked into their room "Oh are you ok?" He asked as he ran to her side.

"No" She spoke in pain "Pain... I've got serious pain in my chest and I can't breathe" She said breathlessly almost in tears

"You're really warm and moist" he said as he raised his hand to her forehead "Ok..." Derek said as he began to pull back her covers

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked as he tried to breathe evenly

"I'm taking you to the hospital" Derek said as he began to help up sit up

"What? No! I don't think so" Meredith shouted as he wrapped his arm around her back

"Meredith, you're ill you need to go to the hospital. Look, don't fight me on this ok. You know as well as I do there's something wrong. Can you get up? " Derek as he caressed her cheek

"Ahh" Meredith moans as she swung her legs off the bed "Yeah, I think so"

"Ok I'm gonna call Izzie and tell her to meet us in the lobby ok"

Once Derek had called Izzie and informed her about Meredith's situation he helped her change into some decent clothes and planted her in the car, before placing Abbey into her car seat and heading to Seattle Grace. Once they arrived Derek helped Meredith out of the car and unbuckled Abbey's seat belt. He parked in one of the reserved spots at the front of the hospital so there was only a few meters walk to the main lobby. As Derek began to walk Mer to the door Abbey ran ahead of them when she saw Izzie rushing towards them.

"What happened?" Izzie shouted as she came to Meredith side

"She has chest pain and has been having a hard time breathing. She also been vomiting, we need to run some tests, get a wheel chair" Derek ordered Izzie

"Already have one" George shouted as he wheel it towards them

"Thanks" Meredith said as she said down slowly

"Abbey come here" Derek shouted to his daughter who was running herself in circles around them

"Sorry" She said as she took hold of her dads hand before walking with them into the hospital

**XXXXX**

An hour had passed since Meredith arrived at the hospital; Izzie had admitted her into a room and drew some blood did a CT and other tests. All they needed now was the results. Izzie had gone to check the labs leaving Derek and Abbey alone with Meredith. Meredith was lying in bed with a breathing mask over her mouth. Derek was sat on a chair beside Meredith's bed with Abbey lay in his arms.

"You tired?" Meredith asked as she lifted her mask off over her head

"Kind of" Abbey said with a faint voice

"Ok close your, and count some sheep, you know like we do at bedtime" Derek suggested with a smile

"One, Two, Three... Four" Abbey began to recite slowly

"Derek maybe you should drop her off at daycare" Meredith whispered once Abbey stopped counting and closed her eyes

"No, she's ok here" Derek said as he cradled Abbey in his arms

"You've gone kind of blue" He said

"It's probably the flu of something stupid like that, stop worrying, I'll be fine" Meredith reassured him before throwing him a smile

"I think I will drop Abbey of at daycare, we don't want you infecting her now do we" Derek giggled as he stood up and lift Abbey up on his hip

"Were we going?" Abbey asked as she opened her eyes

"I'm taking you down to daycare" Derek said as he placed Abbey onto the floor

"Why I want to stay with mommy" Abbey said as she lifted herself back onto Meredith bed

"I know you do sweetie. But mommy's not feeling very well and I do want you to catch it so... you have to have to go, I'll see you later a promise, love you" Meredith as she held out her hand

"I love you mommy" Abbey replied as she gripped onto Meredith hand

"Ok see you in a minute, put the mask back on" Derek said as he held open the door for Abbey and followed her out of the room

**XXXXX**

Once Derek headed off to the daycare center Meredith laid alone in her room. She felt clammy and nauseous and found it even harder to breathe.

As Derek made his way back to Meredith's room he ran into Izzie who was standing outside the lab room holding up some CT scans towards the ceiling light.

"Hey those Meredith's?" Derek asked as he leaned in to get a better look at the CT scan

"Yeah, she's got some shadowing in her left lung, how long has she been vomiting for?" Izzie pointed out

"Almost a week, but that could be a number of anything's" Derek said as he examined the CT scan

"Whats taking them so dam long..." Derek said as he begun to pace "Labs for Grey?" He asked as he approached the lab technician

"10 more minutes Dr Shepherd" He replied

Suddenly Izzie's pager suddenly began to sound. She pulled it from the band of her scrub pants and read the display

"911 in room 2143" Izzie said

"That's Meredith's room" Derek cried before they both ran down the hall for Meredith

As the pair rushed down the hall they bumped into Cristina

"Hey how's Meredith? I just got you're page" Cristina said but they carried on racing past her "What's going on?" Cristina asked

"It's Meredith!" Izzie shouted as she turned the corner.

Suddenly she noticed nurses rushing into Meredith's room. Once she entered the door way she saw an intern standing over Meredith's head holding a scalped

"What the hell are you doing?" Izzie shouted as she and Cristina rushed to Meredith's side

"She stopped breathing and I couldn't get the tube in, I was going to do a tracheotomy" The nervous intern stuttered

"What she doesn't need a trach, get away from her" Cristina shouted as she grabbed a pair of gloves and picked up the intubation tube

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Derek shouted as he entered the room

"Dr Shepherd, I'm the intern on Dr Grey's case" Dr Patterson said as she stepped away from Meredith

"No you're not, GET OUT!" he shouted before rushing to Meredith side holding onto her hand

"What?" Dr Patterson replied

"You heard him get out!" Cristina said as she begun to intubate Meredith

Dr Patterson exited the room quickly. Glancing at Derek once more before she turned and walked away

"Derek you need to go, you can't be in here" Izzie said as she picked up Meredith's chart

"No I'm staying" Derek forced as tears began to well up in his eyes

"Ok I'm in" Cristina said with an almost proud sigh as she tilted Meredith forward and clipped the ambu bag onto the tube that was protruding from her mouth

"Her sats are going back up" Izzie said as she inspected the heart monitor "BPs holding steady"

Izzie's pager began to sound once more she looked at the display and smiled as Derek

"Her labs are in; don't worry Derek we're going to figure this out" Izzie said with a nod before leaving the room

"She'll be fine" Cristina added as she attached a large tube to Meredith's breathing tube

"This will help her breath for now, hopefully when we figure out what's wrong we can get her lungs back up and working on their own" Cristina said as she made her way past Derek patting him on the back before leaving the room to find Izzie.

Derek moved his chair closer to Meredith's head as he gripped onto her hand and kissed it gently

"You'll get through this, You have to get through this. Come on Mer" Derek whispered to himself as tears began to flow down his cheeks. He stared up at Meredith's heart monitor. He could hear it bleeping away persistently; he could hear her breathing loudly with the help of the machine. Seeing her like this was heart breaking, she was so helpless. As he continued to watch her chest rise and fall when he heard the door open, he looked behind him and saw Izzie and Cristina enter the room

"Her white blood cell count is high, she must have an infection, I'm gonna do a chest x-ray. But it looks like Pneumonia, we're gonna have to do more tests to interpret which type she has but it's looking more like Bacterial pneumonia from the tests we already have. We just need to confirm it" Izzie suggested

"Ok..." Derek inhaled slowly

"Derek?" Izzie said

"This morning she was morning our son and now she's... Here" Derek began to sob

"We will keep a close eye on her..." Izzie began "... Cristina!" Izzie shouted as he noticed Cristina jolt out of the room

Derek nodded at Izzie as with that she exited the room in search of her friend. Derek continued to sit by her side and hold her hand as she begun to fight for her life.

_**Ok so I don't really know the in's and out of pneumonia but I did my research like two hours worth and I'm gonna try my best to make it sound as real as possible! Sorry I made this happen to her but what a little drama? LOL! Hope you like it =p until next time my friends. REVIEW!!**_


	15. Get Through

_Helloooo =D_

_OK people 10 more reviews then we're at 100 come on!" A little motivation there for you! _

_This one's really long so you better like it!_

_Also i've changed the names of the chapters and they are now named after song's! Like the Grey's!_

_Oh and before in the other chapter I realised I put Dr Grey instead of Dr Shepherd, but sometimes everyone will say Dr Grey because her last names Grey-Shepherd, oh and Abbey's name is just Shepherd. Just to clear that up for you..._

_Anyways back to the thing..._

_**Ok so I'm going to explain about this chapter (sort of) before you read it! This chapter is coming from Derek and everyone else's point on view (except for Mer) and in the next chapter it will be coming from Meredith's point of view, you know sort of like what happened when she was dead and she saw Denny, Dylan, Bonnie and her momma, you'll understand once you read the next chapter! Anyways enjoy, I had fun writing this chapter.**_

* * *

_**-- Derek's Point Of View!**_

It was later in the evening and Derek had not moved from his chair that was situated by Meredith's side. _"Why Meredith? Why now!"_ was all Derek could think to himself. His beautiful wife was lying there unconscious and in pain.

"Derek you've been sitting in here all day go get a coffee, or visit Abbey in daycare she must be wondering how her mom is doing, go be with her" Izzie said as she walked into the room and placed a large folder down onto the table

"Are those her knew x-rays?" Derek asked snapping out of his transfixed gaze he had on Meredith

"Yes" Izzie replied as she handed the x-rays to him

Derek opened the folder and pulled out the pictures before holding them up to the light to inspect them

"She has a build up of fluid in the pleural cavity... Crap" He said as he threw the x-rays onto the table "You need to do a thoracentesis" He told Izzie. He raised his hand and placed it over her moist forehead and caressed it lightly.

"Derek I know how much you want to be in here with her but you can't I'm sorry. Listen, go wait in the exam room next door, let me take a blood sample then you can go up and see Abbey" Izzie pleaded him as she stood at the opposite end of Meredith's bed

"I can't I have to stay with her" He refused

"Derek there's nothing you can do, it's up to us now and you're a risk of catching this so you can't stay in here, please" Izzie pleaded once more as she walked over to Derek's side

"Ok... can I just have a moment alone with her please" Derek asked

"Yeah just make it quick, the longer..." Izzie began

"... I know" Derek interrupted

"Ok" Izzie replied while patting him on the back before exiting the room

"Mer..." Derek began as he held onto her hand "... You will pull through this, you have to. I love you, and no matter what happens always know that, if I know what love is, it's because of you. You can do this, you can't leave me. I love you!" He said softly into her ear, he kissed her hand tenderly before placing it back down to her side. He walked towards the door and took one last lingering look at her as she lay tranquil on the bed before closing the door.

"Derek?" Izzie shouted as she popped her head out of the exam room next door

"Yeah, right" Derek replied as he entered the room

"Ok I'm just going to draw some blood, then run it to the lab" Izzie explained, she knew there could be a chance that Derek may of contracted the virus so she needed to run a quick blood sample to tox before he when anywhere near the children in the Daycare center, or anyone else for that matter

"Ok all done" Izzie said as she pulled the needle out from Derek's arm

"Thanks Iz, I really appreciate everything you're doing for us" He thanked her as he watched her placed a band aid on his arm

"You're welcome" she smiled as she began to write on Derek's blood sample

"How's Cristina?" Derek suddenly asked

"Erm, I don't know Owens looking for her my guess is that she's at Joe's but I can't leave so..." Izzie said before halting when she saw Derek's saddened face "She's going to be fine Derek"

"So what are you going to do now?" Derek asked as Izzie stood up

"We are going to run an IV of antibiotics to kill off the bacteria which can take up to 10 days and we're now going to insert a needle into her chest to drain the fluid which should help her to breathe on her own. Wait here I'll be back in half an hour with your results" Izzie explained before throwing him a compassionate look and exiting the room

Once Izzie dropped Derek's results off at the lab she begun to make her way back to Meredith's room. She stopped off at the nurse's station to collect the charts from her other cases, as she gathered them together she heard a voice call her name

"Dr Steven's" the voice called from a few feet behind her

"Yes?" She replied turning around "Chief, hello" Izzie said holding up all her patients charts in her arms

"Are those you're other patients?" He asked as he placed his hands on his hips

"Yes" Izzie replied with a confused look on her face

"Ok well their not anymore, the only patient I want in your care for the next few days is Meredith, you understand" Richard explain

"Yes sir, but what about..." Izzie motioned towards her overflowing pile of charts

"Its fine I'll take on your case's there all general right?" He offered

"Yeah" Izzie smiled

"Ok then..." The chief replied as he began to take the charts from Izzie's

"Chief are you sure?" Izzie asked as she piled them up into his arms

"Yes its fine what's a little extra work load?" He laughed "Ok, go save Meredith's life" he said with a nod

"Yes sir" Izzie said before picking up Meredith chart and heading down the hall

"Oh, Dr Patterson" Izzie exclaimed as she bumped into her in the hall as she walked out of her patient's room

"Yes Dr Steven's" She replied as she closed her patient's door

"I've been looking for you, were have you been?" Izzie asked

"I thought you threw me off the case?" Dr Patterson asked

"No Dr Shepherd and Dr Yang did but Meredith is not their patient she mine and I say you're on the case. Do you know how to do a thoracentesis?" Izzie asked as both women stood in the busy hall way

"Erm, no I've never done one" Dr Patterson replied

"Well you are about to, come one" Izzie said as she begun to walk down the hall, she then turned to see Dr Patterson standing still in the same spot "Well are you coming or not?" Izzie asked

"Yes" Dr Patterson replied as she followed Izzie down the hall

**XXXXX**

Once Izzie had set up the thoracentesis equipment she looked at Dr Patterson who's was quivering in her boots. The two women were standing either side of Meredith's bed.

"Ok so this is an invasive procedure to remove what?" Izzie began

"To remove the fluid from the pleural space" Dr Patterson described

"Good ok, put on you gloves, you must always put on gloves as soon as you enter the room. See this...?" Izzie said holding up her hands "... These are gloves, now put them on" Izzie was as soft as a button but even she didn't mind torturing interns every now and then.

"Ok..." Izzie said once Dr Patterson put on her gloves "You will be placing this needle into her seventh intercostal space. So go ahead" Izzie said as she handed Dr Patterson the hollow needle

"Ok" Dr Patterson replied nervously as she reached for the needle in Izzie hand

"Ok you see this, what's happening right here, you're shaking" Izzie said as she placed the needle back down onto the sterile table "That cannot happen. Because if you get this wrong you could do more damage than good. Now she is one of my closest friends and I love her to bits and I want her... no I need her to pull through this so you make one mistake and I will make you r residency here hell on earth, not too imagine what Derek would do"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence" Dr Patterson said as she gave a more nervous look towards Izzie

"Ok, look I'm sorry it's just we're all a little on edge. You can do this there's no need to worry you'll do find. Just concentrate on everything you are doing, ignore me ignore the world around for. Your new purpose in life for the next 6 minutes is to make sure you get this right" Izzie explained before handing the needle to Dr Patterson again

"Ok so, it needs to be placed in the seventh intercostal space" Izzie said as lifted Meredith up into a sitting position. "I'm going to hold her upright, so it's all down to you now"

As she watched Dr Patterson insert the needle she held Meredith up steadily

"Ok, stop. The fluid has aspirated, guild that plastic catheter over the needle and when the catheter is fully inserted remove the needle and cover the hold with your finger" Izzie explained

"Ok, done" Dr Patterson said as she held her finger over the hole in the catheter which was protruding from Meredith's back

"Ok, so why do we hold our finger over the hole in the catheter?" Izzie asked

"To prevent the entry of air into the plural space" Dr Patterson answered

"Well done, ok now attach the three way stopcock and the syringe to the catheter and aspirate the fluid. Ok nice, now once the needle is full of fluid turn the stopcock off so it's facing the patient, then attach the drainage tube to the stopcock" Izzie explain once more, she then began to watch as Dr Patterson softly and carefully continued her procedure

"Ok, it's done" Dr Patterson said with a sigh of relief

"Ok you're not finished yet..." Izzie replied "Insert the other end of the tube into the container... Ok good now open the stopcock and the fluid should now begin to fill up in the container..." Izzie then peered over to the tube exiting Meredith's back and nodded "Can you hold her for me?" Izzie said as Dr Patterson took Izzie's place to hold Meredith upright. "Good job, that's perfect, I want you to stay in here and monitor her for me once the fluid gets to his point..." Izzie said as she marked the container with a pen "... Page me and I'll show you how to swap containers"

"Ok, so I'm just supposed to stay and hold her up?" Dr Patterson asked with a confused look on her face

"Yes, until I find a nurse to take over and then you can monitor her and update her chart" Izzie said. Suddenly her pager sounded, she pulled it from her waist band and looked at the display

"Ok I gotta go, if you need me then page me, or call a nurse" Izzie smiled before leaving Dr Patterson alone.

**XXXXX**

"Ok Derek..." Izzie said as she entered the exam room with charts in her hand "You..." She began as she started to root through the many folders she had in her arms "... Are all clear, congrats" She said with a smile as she handed Derek his lab results.

"Thanks Iz. Oh how did Meredith's thoracentesis go?" Derek asked as he stood up off the chair

"It went great, I'm telling you these interns are much smarter than we give them credit for. Ok go see Abbey, and I'll give you an update soon" she smiled as she pattered him on the back

"Thanks Iz" Derek thanked her once more before exiting the room.

Once he made his way up to the nursery Derek entered the room to find all the children sleeping on top of heaps of blankets, pillows and stuffed toys

"Hi I'm here to pick up Abbey Shepherd" Derek and tiredly as he approached the desk

"Yes sure she's just over there, I'll wake her for you" The daycare worker said

Derek watched as the young woman carefully approached his sleeping daughter. Once she had woken her she lifted a dazed Abbey into her arms and made her way over to Derek

"She been down for 10 minutes so she still a little groggy..." She mentioned as she placed Abbey into Derek's arms "I'll just go get her things" she said before walking away

Derek lifted an exhausted Abbey higher onto his hip and kissed her forehead as she rested her head onto his shoulder for comfort

"Thanks" Derek said to the assistant as she handed Derek Abbey's coat "Ok baby girl let's get you to an exam room" He said as he walked out of the room.

Once Derek entered an exam room he placed Abbey down onto the exam table and popped his head out of the door.

"Nurse!" Derek said to a nurse who was standing at the nurse's station a few feet away

"Yes Doctor?" The nurse replied as she walked over to him

"Can you get a blood test kit for me please" Derek asked the nurse

"Yes sir, may I ask who for?" The nurse asked kindly

"For my daughter" He replied before walking back into the room, he pulled up a seat next to Abbey and begun to watch her sleep. Her resemblance to Meredith was uncanny. Abbey had her little button nose, her beautiful stringy blonde hair and her slim structure. But there was no doubt about it she had his eyes. But everything else she had been blessed with from Meredith.

"Abbey?" Derek said as he ran his hand over Abbey's hair "Abz" His whispered

"Daddy" Abbey replied as she rubbed her eyes "Where's mommy?" She asked with a little squeak in her voice

"She's asleep sweetie, you can see her soon I promise" He smiled as he brushed some of Abbey hair from her face

"Here you go Dr Shepherd" The nurse said as she entered the room

"Can you do this for me?" He asked the nurse as she turned for the door

"Sure" She smiled as she walked back over to the exam table and began to set up the equipment

"What are you doing?" Abbey asked as she stared into her dad's eyes

"Ok you know how mommy a little bit sick?" Derek said as he lifted her onto his lap

"Yeah" She said looking up at his with her radiant eyes

"Well we need to do a little blood test to make sure you all nice and healthy for her when you visit her later on ok" He smiled

"Ok, what do I have to do?" She smiled

"Well you see all these pretty blue lines on your arm?" Derek said as he lifted Abbey's to the light

"There called veins daddy" She smiled

"Ok, how do you know that?" He laughed; she was pretty smart for an almost five year old

"You told me when I asked you to teach me how to be a doctor like you, remembberrr?" She giggled

"Oh yes I do" He smiled once more

"Silly" She grinned

"Ok so the nurse needs to see your blood so she going to have to put a little needle into your arm" Derek explained

"Will it hurt?" She asked with a nervous tone

"It will but only for like two seconds, promise" Derek convinced her

"No, I don't want to" She refused shaking her head

"Ok if I go first then will you go second?" He asked throwing his head to the side giving her 'the look'

"Daddy, you don't have to use your magic eyes with me it doesn't work." She laughed

"Oh really? Look..." he said as she held out his arm

The nurse then slowly inserted the needle into his vein and extracted a tiny amount of blood

"See that's all it is..." He said as she pulled out the needle "And you'll get one of these pink plasters"

"Ok fine, but then can I see mommy?" She asked

"We'll see" he replied with a smile

"Ok" Abbey agreed

"I'll go get another kit" the nurse said as she a gathered the used kit on the desk

Once the nurse re entered the room she set herself up while Derek as rolling Abbey sleeve up her arm

"Ok sweetie you ready?" The nurse said kindly

"No" Abbey flinched

"Ok baby well do it in your own time ok, count to three and when you say three the nurse will insert the needle, she won't do anything until you say three ok?"

"Ok... One" Abbey said "... two... do I have to look?" Abbey interrupted her counting

"Nope, you can look at me" Derek said as he licked his tongue out at her

"Daddy!" She laughed "one... two...... Three" She shouted the second she felt the needle pierce her skin she closed her tiny eyes and held her breath.

A moment later she felt a hand cross her ear

"Abbey?" Derek said softly

"Yeah" She said with a big exhale

"It's done" Derek smile

"What? I didn't feel anything?" Abbey said as she opened her eyes

"See I told you it was ok" Derek said as he blew her arm slightly before placing a plaster over the tiny amount of blood.

"Where's my blood?" Abbey asked looking up at the nurse

"Here" The nurse said with a smile as she handed Abbey the small tube containing her blood

"That's it? Daddy you're a baby" Abbey laughed

The nurse began to laughed at Abbey's little comment

"Ok nurse I think I got it from here" Derek laughed "Thanks for that"

"Weelll... yooou said it hurt and it didn't so..." she giggled

"Yeah, yeah, come on the faster we get this blood the lab the fast you can see mommy ok?" Derek said as he lifted Abbey of the table onto the floor and handed her the blood sample "Go on you know the way" He continued as he held the door open for her and followed her as she ran down the hall.

**XXXXX**

At exactly the same time in a different part of the hospital, Dr Patterson was still alone in Meredith's room holding her steady as the fluid drain from her lungs. She knew what Izzie's game was; she wanted to see her suffer. Izzie could have easily called a nurse to do this job but no she wanted her to suffer, for the whole Derek thing. _'Of course' _she thought to herself why else. She was basically best friends with Meredith so why not let her sit in a room holding up the woman she was most jealous of. As she stood in the room for a long period of time something dawned on her, something that she had been feeling for a long time, except the need to pee, the jealously. Dr Patterson was jealous of Meredith, of her life, and she wanted nothing more that to take it from her, well in her dreams she has. But now seeing Meredith in this state and by seeing Derek in an almost complete break down earlier, she wanted nothing more than to help her. Suddenly the guilt kicked in.

"Ok so I know you don't like me, at all... " She began, this was something that she had wanted to say to Meredith for a long time but of course never had the guts to, and then there's the fact that Meredith could ruin her medical career

"... I'm that slutty intern, the one who has a thing for a married man, but I admire you, I really do. You have an amazing husband, the amazing kid, the dream life sometimes I wish I was you, you know! And I know you can't hear me but on some subconscious level I hope you can because you're the luckiest women on this planet. So yeah..." She babbled on "... Oh and I'm not usually this nice so... yeah" She continued as she held Meredith up with her two hands, suddenly the alarms began to bleep

"Oh my god code blue. Nurse! I need a nurse in here!" She shouted

An army of nurse suddenly began to charge into the room

"Ok can you lower her down for me please" Dr Patterson said as she let a nurse take over her spot

"Ok a need the paddles" She shouted to the nurse at the crash cart

"Ok there charged" The nurse spoke as she handle Dr Patterson the paddle

"Ok charge to 200" Patterson ordered. She then place the paddle onto Meredith chest and a bolt of electricity shot through Meredith body

"No change" a nurse spoke

"Ok someone page Dr Steven now! Charge to 250 please" She said once more, she sent another shock through Meredith's body

"Still no change" Nurse Tyler spoke

"Come on Meredith! Don't do this" Dr Patterson pleaded "Ok hold CPR, charge at 300" She sent a last shock wave threw Meredith body and looked up at the monitor for a response. Seconds later her stats began to rise

"Ok she's back, BPs going up" A nurse said

"What happened?" Izzie said as she rushed into the room and ran to Meredith's side holding her stethoscope to Meredith chest

"She coded and... oh my god is she ok?" Dr Patterson stuttered

"Yeah she's fine, her lungs are getting clearer to" Izzie said as she listened to Meredith's breathing sounds through her stethoscope "Are you ok?" Izzie asked as she wrapped her stethoscope around her neck

"Yeah..." Dr Patterson answered breathless "... I've never done that before"

"Well you did an amazing job" Izzie complimented her

"Thanks" Dr Patterson said as she sat down on the nearest chair to calm herself

"What's going on?" a male voice said from the doorway

Izzie turned and saw Derek rushing past the nurse's who were leaving the room

"What are you doing here" he yelled at Dr Patterson

"I... I" She stuttered whist pointing towards Meredith

"She just saved Mer's life that's what she is doing here" Izzie interrupted

**XXXXX**

"What the hell were you thinking when you assigned that intern on my wife case are you out of your mind?" Derek whispered in anger at Izzie as they stood outside Meredith room

"I was thinking about saving her life Derek, Dr Patterson is one of the best interns in this hospital, which you would know if you weren't kicking her of every off your case's she gets assigned to" Izzie whispered

"I can't believe you, I'm just... " Derek continued

Dr Patterson was still sitting on the chair she had collapsed into a 5 minutes earlier, she could see Derek and Izzie arguing outside the window of Meredith's room, he was using hand gestures, lots of hand gestures, and Izzie was frequently pointing through the window at them so no doubt they were arguing over her. Suddenly she heard a sound coming from the limp body on the bed

"Meredith?" Dr Patterson said as she stood up and made her way over to Meredith. She could see her patients eyes begin to open "Oh my god your ok"

Meredith raised her hand and placed it into Dr Patterson's palm; tear began to drop from Meredith's eyes

"It's ok, you ok" Dr Patterson said as she walked around to Meredith side and pulled out her stethoscope "You can breathe?" Dr Patterson asked staring at Meredith. Meredith nodded slightly as she continued to stare into Dr Patterson eyes. As the two women gazed at each other Dr Patterson had a feeling that somehow Meredith knew it was her who saved her life.

"Ok, just stay still I'm going to take it out ok" she suddenly said snapping out from their gaze, Dr Patterson carefully let go of Meredith's hand placing it back down onto the bed and walked around the table.

Somehow Dr Patterson had forgotten about Derek and Izzie standing outside arguing and proceeded too extubate Meredith. Once she pulled the tube out Meredith began to cough vigorously

"It's ok, your fine..." Dr Patterson exhaled as she came back around to the side of Meredith's bed "... Your ok" she continued as she removed some of Meredith's hair from her face and begun to smile down at her.

"Derek" Meredith said weakly

"Oh god yes" Dr Patterson remember that he and Izzie were still arguing outside the room.

"I'll be right back..." Dr Patterson informed her, as she began to walk away from the bed Meredith grabbed her hand once more and looked her hard into the eyes

"It's ok I'm going to get you husband" She said as squeezed onto Meredith hand in reassurance

Dr Patterson walk away from Meredith bed and proceeded out of the door.

"Erm... Dr Shepherd..." Dr Patterson said

"That's not the point..." Derek shouted at Izzie

"It is the point Derek..." Izzie yelled back

"Dr Shepherd...!" Dr Patterson said once again but being completely ignored

"What the hell is going on?" A male voice shouted, frightening everyone "This is the ICU, people are trying to recover here, if you want to argue go and do it outside" The chief shouted

"But chief, you see she..." Derek began to shout again

"DR. SHEPHERD!" Dr Patterson shouted over everyone

Suddenly all three people stopped arguing and looked at Dr Patterson

"Sorry" She smiled

"What is it?" Izzie asked

"It's Meredith... Er, Dr Grey" Dr Patterson said whilst pointing into the window behind her

"What?" Derek asked

"She's asking for you Dr Shepherd" Dr Patterson said with a smile

"What?" Derek said as he rushed into Meredith's room

"She's awake?" Izzie asked as she followed Derek

"Yeah I extubated her" Dr Patterson said as she followed in the footsteps of her attending's

"Oh my god Mer" Derek cried as she came to Meredith side

"Give them some time" The chief said as he motioned for Izzie and Dr Patterson to leave the room

"Yeah" Dr Patterson agreed before following Izzie and the chief into the hallway.

"Oh my god your ok" Derek sobbed as he took hold of Meredith hand and kissed it repeatedly

Meredith said nothing she just smiled, tears began to fall down from her cheeks as she smiled feebly

"Oh my god I love you so much, I'm so sorry for everything I've done to cause you pain, I'm so sorry Mer. I love you" He cried as she kissed her hand once more. He waited for a reply anything just to let him know she was ok. Meredith just lay there staring at him with her deep grey glistening eyes

"I'm so sorry" He said once more before lowering his head down into her chest

"I love you too" She replied with a rocky voice. Clearly having a tube down your throat hurt alot

"Thank you, for being ok" He said before standing up and perching himself up onto her bed before relaxing himself behind her. He moved his arm across her stomach and held onto her tightly before drifting off to sleep.

**XXXXX**

Izzie, the chief and Dr Patterson stood outside Meredith room looking in through the blinds as Derek lay on the bed holding his wife.

"Good work Patterson I'm proud of you. You handle the situation well and didn't freak out" Izzie said with a smile

"Gold star for you Dr Patterson" the chief added

"Thanks, I did freak out though" Dr Patterson began

"What?" Izzie said with a confused look on her face

"... I freaked out big time, I can't do this anymore, and it's too much. Every day is too much, I think I want to transfer" She stated

"What? You're an amazing intern" Izzie complimented her

"She's right" The chief added

"Thanks but its way to much for me to handle, and I can't do it, I have a daughter that I never spend time with and it's not like I'm a world class surgeon like you're two friends in there, I can't afford child care, I think I'm going to transfer to psyche" Dr Patterson finished

"Are you sure?" Izzie said

"Yeah, I need this. It's the only way I can get what's left of my life back" She replied

"Well ok then, come see me at the end of your shift and we can sort the paper work out" The chief said before walking away.

"Thanks Chief" She said before he walked away

"You really did do an amazing job" Izzie mentioned once more

"Thanks, tell Meredith I said get well soon" She smiled

"I will" Izzie replied as she watched her walk away.

Izzie then divert her attention back onto Meredith and Derek who were still lying next to each over in the bed. Suddenly her gazed was diverted when she heard a little squeal coming from down the hall

"Izzzziiiieeee" a little girl shouted

"Abbbeeeyyy" Izzie replied as the little girl ran into her arms "Who are you with?"

Abbey didn't reply she just began to laugh and turned her head back down the hall as she sat on Izzie's hip

"Who?" Izzie asked peering down the empty hall

"One... Two... Three!" Abbey counted

Suddenly a worn out George came jogging around the corner and down the hall

"I'm not as fit as I used to be" He laughed breathlessly as approached Abbey and Izzie

"How's Mer" He mouthed to Izzie

"Take a look" She replied nodding towards the window of Meredith room

"She awake?" George gasped

"Yep" Izzie smiled

"Were mommy?" Abbey asked sweetly into Izzie's ear

"Well if you look through here, you can see her" Izzie said as she pointed into the window

"Hey that's daddy too" Abbey said as she gazed at her parents as the relaxed in bed

"Yeah, he's just warming mommy up" Izzie explained as best as she could

"Can I go in?" Abbey asked

"No not yet, we have to get your blood back first remember then you can" Izzie smiled before kissing Abbey on the cheek "Come on lets go play with some fake body parts in the skills lab" Izzie said as she placed Abbey down on the floor and began to walk down the hall with George at her side.

"You mean Stan?" Abbey asked

"Yeah Stan" Izzie Laughed

'_**The Babble!'**_

_Ok so that was that chapter....... jeezz over 6000 words lol the longest chapter ever and it's taken me Five hours to write and edit! I hope you liked it. _

_I did had this really nice scene between Derek, Abbey and Meredith. Derek told Abbey to say goodbye to Mer, because her condition had gotten alot worse and there was only a slight chance she would pull through and the things that I wrote for Abbey to say to an unconscious Mer were soo cute but I didn't end up going in that direction with her Illness so I couldn't use it. But I was beautiful! I'm so gonna save it though. If you wanna hear what I wrote for that scene then let me know and I'll type it in my little 'Babble' at the end of the next chapter for you!_

_And I did you guys a huge thing here I spent all day on this chapter alone sooo PLEASEEE I'm actually begging you here__**.....**_

_**.....REVIEW!**_


	16. The World Turned Up Side Down

_**Ok so this Chapter is what happened from Meredith's point of view. You'll get it once you start reading!**_

_Previous Authors Note Babble:_

_So I really want to get this Fic finished because I have a new one in the wings =)_

_It's going to be a sequel to 'Drifting Further Away' and its going to center around our little Abbey in high school, about how hard it is to be a teenager, kind of a 'The OC' and '90210' thing, She's going to be rebelling out =p_

_I have a few ideas in my head but Im having trouble coming up with a name for the Fic so maybe you could help me. So if you have any ideas then id love to hear them and maybe if I like one I'll use it! =)_

**

* * *

**

**Everything was black, quite, still...**

Suddenly she was conscious she lay still in a slight daze for a moment gathering her thoughts,_ 'what happened' _she thought to herself. All of a sudden the pain struck. Meredith opened her eyes and jumped up from the exam table she was lying on

"Whoa, whoa Mer slow down you're hit your head" Cristina said as she tried to steady Meredith back down onto the exam table

"I'm fine" Meredith said as she batted Cristina's hand away from her apparently bleeding forehead

"No you're not fine lay back down" Cristina replied as she placed her hands on Meredith shoulder and pushed her back down onto the table. Meredith began to stare at her in complete confusion.

"What happened?" Meredith asked weakly as she relax head against the pillow situated behind her

"You got into a car accident" Cristina replied as she began to inspect Meredith bleeding forehead

"Seriously" Meredith asked as she continued to glance at her person

"You don't remember?" Cristina replied before pulling her hands away from Meredith's face

"No" She replied.

The two women sat staring at each other for a moment, with one thing on their minds _'what the hell' _suddenly the exam room door swung open and a young boy came rushing into the room. He was young, very handsome with his brown skater like hair and deep grey eyes almost like...

"Derek" Meredith whispered to herself inaudible

"Oh my god mom, are you ok?" The young boy asked as he appeared at Meredith side

"Mom...?" Meredith replied with a slight look of uncertainty on her face "... What?" Meredith asked shaking her head. _'Meredith your going crazy...' _she thought to herself _"Did he just call me mom, since when do I have a teenage son? This can't be right"_ She continued to wander into a world of her own thoughts when Cristina voice broke the silence

"Yeah she's fine, just a bump on the head, I'm sending her up for a CT" Cristina replied as she finished suturing Meredith's head

"I don't need a CT I'm fine" Meredith insisted as she lifted her upper body up and placed both hands either side of the table to support her.

"Ok you know this wasn't my fault" The young boy blurted out

"Oh so you're going to blame this all on me?" Another voice sounded from the doorway.

They had been joined by a young girl this time, possibly older than the boy maybe by a few years, she had sandy coloured blonde hair and shimmering green eyes. She smiled slightly at Cristina as she stormed into the room and placed herself at the foot of the exam table which Meredith was sitting on.

"Yeah I am. I wasn't the one handling the steering wheel, _Abigail!_" the young boy said expressing her name sarcastically

"Abigail?" Meredith whispered looking somewhat bewildered

"_Yeah, _But you were the one provoking me _Christopher!_" Abigail replied over expressing the young boy's name

"Christopher?" Meredith repeated to herself. Now she was totally dreaming.

"You are seriously retarded" Chris shouted back at his sister

"Meredith are you going to shut your kids up anytime today?" Cristina asked as she began to clear up her mess

"_My kids?_" Meredith gasped. _"What the hell is going on!" _she thought. Since when had her children suddenly grown into teenagers, and Christopher was here? Nothing but shock and total panic washed over her in that very moment.

"Oh great look what you did, you made her forget who we are!" Chris said pointing at Meredith with his PSP in his hand

"Shut Chris and go play with your Play Station" Abbey shouted back as she reached across the table and nudged Chris's arm almost making him drop his PSP on the floor

"Screw you" Chris replied as he batted Abbey hand away from him

Suddenly a cell phone began to ring; the two teens pulled out their most up to date phones out of their pocket and looked at their caller display

"Oh look it's me" Abbey scoffed as she flipped open her cell to answer the call "You know, a friend, that's real unlike someone's _'friends'_..." Abbey expressed before turning and taking the call "... Hello?"

"Yeah a pom, pom tart!" Chris whispered to himself before taking a seat on Meredith's bed and playing with his PSP

"Mom will you tell him" Abbey said as she hit Chris over the head

Meredith was still in a state of shock she just sat on the bed observing the two beautiful young people that stood before her, who apparently were her children.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Another voice sounded as it entered the door _'Derek, thank god' _Meredith thought to herself. Maybe he could explain what the hell was going on

"Dad!" Chris expressed as Derek walked over to him before checking the cut on his forehead

"I can here you two arguing from down the hall" Derek said as she walked over to his Abbey, placing his hand underneath her chin and tilting her head upwards to inspect the cut she had obtained from the accident "What happened?" Derek asked as Abbey pulled her face from Derek's palm and continued with her phone conversation.

"Well your daughter almost killed us that's what's going on" Chris said, with his full attention still on his PSP

"Debbie hold on..." Abbey said to her cell conversation before manoeuvring her phone to her neck and swinging her arm out to hit Chris across the head

"Ow!" Chris yelped

"Shut it dick!" Abbey said as she pulled back her arm

"Or what?" Chris said standing up and walking over to Abbey

"Or I'll stick my foot up your ass" She replied with a slight grin across her face

"Ahh... Is that the best you can do?" Chris replied

"Oh My God!" Abbey squealed before launching her body towards her brother

"Ok that's enough!" Derek jumped in grabbing Abbey's hand which was inches away from clamping down into Chris's face. Derek pulled his daughter back and almost dragged her to the other side of the room "I'll take this..." Derek said as she snatched Abbey's cell phone from her hand

"Ha-Ha _loserrr!_" Chris giggled at the expression Abbey had cross her face, from the sudden loss of her social lifeline

"... and this" Derek said once more as he snatched Chris's PSP from his hand causing him to moan loudly

"Ha-Ha now who's the loser?" Abbey laughed

"Abbey grow up" Derek said as he placed the two electronics down onto Meredith's table, before throwing her a suddenly look of amusement

"Is everyone ok?" A woman asked as she entered the room

"This rooms way to small" Cristina said as she looked at Meredith. Clearly Cristina knew this woman and by the looks of things so did Derek, by the way he just kissed her on the lips. She took a quick glance at this left hand, a wedding band, was it their wedding band, or was it that of another woman's? She didn't really want to find out but took the chance and slowly gazed down at her own left hand. No ring! _'Great!' _she thought. Suddenly snapping out of the transfixed gaze she had on her ringless finger.

"SHUT UP!" Meredith shouted to the arguing bodies in front of her

"Meredith?" Derek gasped

"Mom?" Abbey said also

"Sorry it's just..." Meredith hesitated

"What?" Derek's wife asked

"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Meredith insisted

"Well like I said before Abbey almost killed..." Chris joked

"No not that I mean, what I am doing here, I'm not supposed to be here" Meredith replied in complete confusion. And she was right she wasn't supposed to be there. Something was happening, something strange. Was this a dream? Was she dead? A million thoughts ran through her mind at that moment, she felt like she was on the verge of breaking down. As tears began to fill in her eyes she noticed her two '_kids' _gazing at her with complete compassion in their eyes.

"Ok guys lets file out" Derek said as she gestured everyone to left the room "... Ok let's move" He said wafting them out of the door

"I'll take them to the cafeteria" Derek's wife said before kissing him on the lips once more and walking out of the room with her step children

"Ok Meredith, what's happening?" Derek said as she walked over to Meredith and begun to shine a light into her eyes.

"I don't know" she said puzzled. Meredith gazed at the man that stood before her. Married how can he be married? This was heart breaking for her, to see the man she loves in the arms of another woman.

"I'm gonna go set up the CT. Can you get a nurse to bring her up?" Cristina said as she walked over to the door

"Yeah" Derek replied. Cristina then left the room leaving Meredith and her apparently _ex _husband alone for the first time since she woke.

"Derek?" Meredith spoke worryingly

"It probably a side effect from the concussion" Derek said. He knew from Meredith tone that there was some she wanted to ask him something. He knew that tone oh so well. But he diverted it with medical speak.

"Ok" She said pulling her gaze she had on him to her hands that sat in her lap.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked as he took a seat on Meredith bed

"I don't know" Meredith said as she continued to stare at her hands

"Do you want me to take the kids to the apartment tonight, give you some rest?" Derek asked.

Meredith could feel his eyes watching her. Her skin heated up as he gazed into her eyes. This was Derek. Her Derek, only it wasn't, he was different, but exactly the same.

"Why?" Meredith asked as she raised her head to meet his gaze

"Why what?" Derek asked as hr continued to study her face

"How are we divorced?" Meredith asked innocently

"I don't..." Derek began "... I, you need a CT" Derek hesitated before standing up and turning away from her

"Derek!" Meredith spoke as he turned his back to her

"Not now Meredith" Derek said before leaving the room

Meredith was left sitting in the exam room alone. Something was not right, she had kids, teenage kids, no husband, and Derek was married. Something was up and she needed to figure it out.

**XXXXX**

Once Meredith had her CT Cristina settled her into a room, while they waited for the results. Meredith sat upright in her bed thinking about how screwed up thing were. _'This has to be a dream' _she thought to herself.

"Meredith...? Meredith" Cristina repeated as she waved her hand in front of Meredith's face "You ok?" She asked as she closed Meredith chart

"Yeah, I'm just, I have a headache" Meredith said as she rubbed her temple

"You'll be fine" Cristina replied before looking up at the door

"Hey" Christopher greeted as he closed the door behind him

"I'll leave you two alone" Cristina said with a smile before picking herself up from the chair and walking out of the room

"Hi" Meredith said with a smile

"How are you feeling?" Chris asked gently as she took a seat at the end of the bed

"I'm fine, just a headache" Meredith smiled as she stared at her beautiful son.

"Yeah, dad said that's to be expected. But you knew that already" He grinned

"Yeah I do" Meredith replied. She began to watch him a he sat in front of her staring down into his lap, fiddling with his fingers, a little habit that she knew all too well. He must have picked it up from her, just like she did from her mother

"So..." Meredith began no knowing what so say

"Yeah..." Chris smiled as he continued to stare at his hands "Mom you're watching me" he laughed when he noticed Meredith gazing at him

"Sorry... it just..." She smiled

"What...?" He asked

"You are so handsome" Meredith replied with a slight grin

"Thanks, I think" He laughed "Are you sure you're ok? Have the hospital given you some off the street drugs or something?" Chris joked as he stood up and began to inspect the IV bag that was hanging on a hook pumping drugs into Meredith's arm.

"No" Meredith laughed "It's just..." Meredith began "... Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah anything..." Chris replied as he took a seat next to Meredith on the bed

"Ok, you are going to think I'm really strange... But" Meredith began "Something's not right here"

"What do you mean?" Chris asked in confusion

"I mean... I think this is some kind of dream or something" Meredith explained in great embarrassment

"Ok, well sorry to say but this is total real, I mean at least for the past 13 and a half years of my existence it is anyway" Chris assured her

"Yeah for you, but I think I'm like in a different world thing or whatever I can't explain it, this... it just that this isn't my life" Meredith finished

"Ok..." Chris agreed. What the hell he thought, why not just go along with it "... So what's your life like then?" he asked

"Erm well for starters Derek and I are married. Abbey's a baby and I don't have grey in my hair" Meredith said as she began to study the ends of her faded hair

"Oh... ok wait what about me? " Chris asked seeming pretty amused by the story

"Oh you are... Erm..." Meredith began with hesitation

"I'm?" Chris asked waiting for an answer

"You... Are not born yet" Meredith replied quickly before swallowing a large bump in her throat

"Cool ok... Have you ever thought that that was a dream and this with reality?" He suddenly asked

She had never thought of that. But it was not possible how could it be? She had no memory of this life on a full memory of the other one

"No... It's not, this is not real!" Meredith replied sternly

"Ok chill..." Chris said holding out his hands "... Ok so maybe this is one of them alter universe thing's... yeah like in the movies" He announced excitedly

"Are you serious?" Meredith scoffed

"Yes I am. I mean you have memory of this life and you seem so sure about the _other _one. So why not?" Chris decided

"True. Ok so how do I like get back to my old life, world, whatever" Meredith asked

"Erm, well usually when people get trapped in a alter universe they have been sent there to complete some kind of task. So I guess that's why you're here. So you complete this task and I guess you go home. And then I get the old over protected, over bearing mother back I love oh so much" He said with a smirk

"Funny, ok so what do I have to do to get out of here?"

"I don't know. You have to figure it out" Chris said as he stood up "I'm gonna go find my sister, while you think on that" he smiled as he walked to the door

"But I..." Meredith hesitated

"Just... think about what's happening in your reality, what needs to be done, or what needs to be let go. You'll figure it out, it'll come to you" He said with a wide smile before leaving the room

That smile. A complete mirror image of Derek's smile, the man she loves. As the thoughts from the recent events that crowed her life came rushing back to her, her issues with Derek, Abbey, her son. _'Christopher, that's it' _she thought to herself _'Maybe I'm here to meet my son' _suddenly a smile played on her lips. _'Wait I've done that and I'm still here. Come on Meredith think!' _she continued to sit in her bed thinking about the millions of reasons she was here.

**XXXXX**

Half an hour later Derek walked into the room with a yellow folder in his hands. He walked up to Meredith's bed and sat down beside her and placed his hand on her arm

"What?" Meredith asked as he quickly glanced at his arm

"Your CT results show that you have some bleeding in you r brain, they need to go in" Derek said braking the news slowly

"Ok, this is ok, it's fine" Meredith said nervously "Have you told...?" Meredith began

"No... I haven't" Derek said as he gazed at her companionably "Ok so I'm going to send the surgeon down and he will..." Derek began as she stood up before her

"Derek..." Meredith interrupted as she grabbed his arm and pulled him back down onto the bed

"Yeah" Derek replied

"What happened? With us, I mean why did we fail?" Meredith asked

"You mean why did we divorce?" Derek asked. Meredith could tell she had hit a nerve. He had gone stiff

"You know why" He replied

"Derek, just... I need to..." She stuttered

"It was hard, me and you we just... it was too hard. I loved you, you know I did. But we fought every day, and in the end you gave up, we tried. We tried and we just couldn't anymore. You couldn't." Derek explained

"Oh" was all Meredith could bring herself to say

"But that doesn't mean we didn't love each other, we did I did, you were the love of my life, you are..." Derek rephrased himself

"Derek" Meredith said as tear formed in her eyes

"I love you, I always have and I always will. You were the most amazing thing that happened to me. And you gave me two beautiful children that, we both love. But I guess, love just wasn't enough, because if it was we would still be together." He expressed before raising his hand to her cheek

"I'm sorry" Meredith confessed as tears began to slowly descend down her cheeks

"It's ok. You can get through this. You will, if there one thing I know about you it's that you're a fighter, and you may not of been able you win that war, our war. But you can certainly win this one. And any other war that's coming your way. Don't give up, fight, fight for what's yours" He replied as he ran his finger over her cheek

"Derek" Meredith whispered sweetly, as she placed her hand on top his that caressed her face

"Yeah" He replied with a smile

Meredith stared at him for a moment. Should she say it? Could she? This was alt Derek she was talking to not her own, but those three little words seemed like they were dying to come out of her mouth. _'Say it' _she thought to herself. As her hand rested over his she began to run her fingers over his. Suddenly she was hit with the reminder he was married, the ring, there was the ring. The ring she could feel under neither her tiny finger.

"Nothing" She said as she pushed his hand from her face "Don't you have to get the surgeon?" Meredith said as she raised her hand to her eyes to wipe away the tears

"Yeah" Derek replied as he stood up off the bed

He began to glare at Meredith compassionately. She felt his eye lingering on her for that moment

"You should go" Meredith said as she turned her face in the opposite direction to wipe away her tears

Derek said nothing; he walked over to Meredith bed and placed a light kiss on her head before walking out of the room

Once he left Meredith turned her head and stared at the door hoping he would turn around and come back to her, but he never did. She begun to think about what Derek had just told her. Maybe it had some meaning, _don't give up, fight, fight for what's yours. _Their marriage had failed, she had failed. She gave up she quit. Maybe it's a sign, a sign to fight for her struggling marriage. Sometimes she felt like giving up, she felt like letting it all go. She loves Derek Shepherd he's her Night in Shining whatever and she was not ready to give that up.

**XXXXXX**

An hour had passed, a long boring hour of looking up at a ceiling. Meredith's surgeon had left the room twenty minutes ago after explain the procedure Meredith had to undergo. A risky one but she felt confident. She would pull through; she had to for Derek, Abbey and for Christopher, where ever he was. As lost herself in her thought she didn't notice the door open and close again

"You ok?" The sweet little voice sounded

"What...?" Meredith replied as she snapped from her day dream "Oh yeah I'm fine" She smiled at her beautiful daughter

"Dad said it a risky procedure..." Abbey said as she sat next to her mom on the bed

"Yeah, but I'll be fine" Meredith promised

"I'm scared" Abbey confessed

"I know sweetie" Meredith replied. For some reason if felt easier to talk to Abby like in some way she knew this young woman that was standing before her, even thought she didn't "Come here" Meredith ordered holding out her arms. Abbey smiled before climbing onto the bed more and pushing herself into Meredith's arms. She rested her head on Meredith's chest as Meredith wrapped her tiny arms around her baby.

"I'll be fine, you have to stay strong for your brother and your father" Meredith began

"For dad? Why dad, I thought... Mom" Abbey said as she raised her little head to look at Meredith "You still love him?" Abbey asked

"I've always loved him, and nothing will change that" Meredith confessed

"He loves you" Abbey said with a smile

"Oh really and how do you know that?" Meredith laughed

"Because I do. Mom everyone see the way he looks at you, well at least I do. He loves you, even through the divorce. Every time you guys were in the same room his eye's never left you, that's why it was so hard for me to except that it was the end for you two. I just didn't understand why two people that loved each other so much would end their marriage" Abbey replied before resting her head back on Meredith chest

"I know baby..." Meredith replied as she began to stroke Abbey head "I'm not going to lie to you I love him, I always have, and whatever issues we have I want you to know that in the future when you're bigger we are always going to be there for you, this doesn't change that" Meredith said as she smelled the top of her daughters head

"Mom..." Abbey said peacefully with her eyes closed

"Yeah?" Meredith replied as she rested her cheek onto Abbey head and closed her eyes

"I'm not five" Abbey informed her as she raised her head

"What?" Meredith said looking confused

"You're talking to me as if I'm five, I'm not I'm 17 in like, ohh..." Abbey began as she looked at her watch "... Yep my watch says two weeks" She laughed as raised her body up to sit upright on the bed

"Yeah sorry" Meredith laughed

"Ok I better go let you rest..." Abbey said as she kissed Meredith on the cheek "I love you"

"I love you to" Meredith replied with a grin

"Oh and I'm sorry I'm such a bitch, I just get worked up sometimes" Abbey said before turning and heading towards the door

"Hey!" Meredith called

"Yeah?" Abbey replied as she turned around

"Don't worry about it, that's one of the many qualities you got from me, you'll learn to embrace it" Meredith replied with a smile

"Cya mom good luck" Abbey said before blowing her a kiss and walking out of the room

**XXXXXX**

"You feeling ok mom?" Chris asked as she entered Meredith room

"Yeah" She smiled as she adjusted her cap on her head. The nurse had just finished prepping Meredith for surgery and they would be taking her down the OR floor shortly.

"How long?" Chris asked as he pulled up a seat next to Meredith

"Not long" She smiled before raising her hand to her sons face and stroked it gently "Chris, I love you" Meredith said

"Mom don't" Chris replied. He could feel the tear begin to well up in his eyes

"I just... I love you so much and I just don't want to leave you again" Chris said

"Again what are you..." Chris began

"I'm sorry, I never had the chance to make it up to you, it's my fault and I failed and I hurt you and I don't know if I can move on" Meredith said as the tears rolled down her face

"Mom... mom... listen to me" Chris said as he sat himself up onto the bed next to Meredith

"Mom..." He shouted to get her attention

"I love you" Meredith sobbed

Chris held out his arms and embraced his mother, he held onto her tightly making sure to never let her go

"It's ok, you don't have to apologise, I know." Chris confessed

"You do?" Meredith asked with a confused look on her face

"Yeah" Chris smiled in reassurance

'_This isn't right'_ Meredith thought to herself

"Mom, you have to know that I'm ok. And you are the most amazing person ever in the world to me and I don't hate you. You have to work this out, and I understand that it's painful but you will be fine, I mean your Meredith Grey, you have overcome so much, I mean look at yourself. You overcame your crap..." Chris said with a smile. Meredith laughed at his dialect "... You helped dad overcome his crap, you guys got engaged and then you grew a family. And maybe I wasn't meant to be but, you and dad are and that's what matters. Knowing that and then finally being able to move on and raise your two daughters" Chris explained with a smile before placing his hand on her stomach

Meredith shot her eyes wide open, swallowing a large lump in her throat before looking down at her stomach

"What? I'm..." She sobbed as she ran her hand over her stomach

"Yeah you are" Chris nodded

"But how do you know?" Meredith whispered as she breathed in with her slight snotty nose

"Because I do" Chris smiled

"Never give up, be extraordinary" Chris finished he placed his forehead against hers she closed her eyes never wanting this moment to end "... I love you" he whispered before placing a kiss onto her forehead

Suddenly the door opened and Derek appeared in the thresh hold. Meredith opened her eyes and Chris had disappeared. He had disappeared, into thin air. _'That's it' _she realised that's the reason she was here. To let her son go, to move on knowing that he was safe and he didn't blame her he loved her.

"Hi" Derek said as he walked over to her

"Hey" Meredith smiled weakly

"The surgeon coming down soon to take care of you, you'll be fine" Derek smiled as he placed himself next to Meredith on the bed.

"Derek..." Meredith sighed

"Shh... I know" Derek replied as he placed his hand through Meredith's hair "... I know"

"You do?" Meredith asked looking into his eyes

"I love you" He confessed

"I love you too" She replied

Suddenly his lips came crashing onto hers. She placed her hands onto his cheeks before deepening the kiss. He forced his tongue into her mouth, and she embraced it passionately, as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Ahh..." Meredith moaned holding her hand to her head

"You ok?" Derek asked as he pulled away from Meredith

"Yeah I just..." Meredith said feeling faint

"Ok lay back down" Derek said as he laid Meredith's head back onto her pillow

"Shh it's ok" Meredith could hear Derek's voice reassure her repeatedly, She could feel herself slowly slipping out of consciousness, Derek voice faded until it was no more.

**Everything was black, quite, still...**

A moment later Meredith's senses came back to her, she could hear the sound of the machines bleeping in the distance. She could smell the familiar smell of the hospital around her. She then slowly opened her eyes and began to look around the room. There was a large amount of pressure looming down her throat, she was intubated. She begun to moan slightly to try and get anyone's attention.

"Meredith?" She suddenly heard a voice say

Meredith opened her eyes and gazed at the woman before her

"Oh my god your ok" Dr Patterson said in relief

Meredith raised her hand and placed it into Dr Patterson's palm; tears began to drop from Meredith's eyes

"It's ok, you're ok" Dr Patterson said as she walked around to Meredith side and pulled out her stethoscope "You can breathe?" Dr Patterson asked staring at Meredith. Meredith nodded slightly as she continued to stare into Dr Patterson eyes. As the two women gazed at each other Dr Patterson had a feeling that somehow Meredith knew it was her who had brought her back.

"Ok, just stay still I'm going to take it out ok" she suddenly said snapping out from their gaze, Dr Patterson carefully let go of Meredith's hand placing it back down onto the bed and walked around the table.

Once Dr Patterson removed the tube from Meredith'S throat Meredith started to cough violently

"It's ok, your fine..." Dr Patterson exhaled as she came back around to the side of Meredith's bed "... Your ok" she continued as she removed some of Meredith's hair from her face and begun to smile down at her.

"Derek" Meredith said weakly

"Oh god yes" Dr Patterson reminded herself

"I'll be right back..." Dr Patterson informed her, as she began to walk away from the bed Meredith grabbed her hand once more and looked her hard into the eyes

"It's ok I'm going to get you husband" She said as squeezed onto Meredith hand in reassurance

Meredith watched as Dr Patterson walked out of the room. As the door open and closed again Meredith could hear loud voices projecting into her room from the hall. _'Derek' _she thought. She knew it was him, she could tell by the sound of his voice. All she wanted was for him to hold her, be there with her. _'What's taking so long' _a moment later their voices stopped bickering. There was a moment of silence. Suddenly the door swung open and Derek rushed into the room.

"Oh my god Mer" Derek cried as he came to Meredith's side.

Meredith looked before her and saw Izzie and the chief in the doorway. She smiled at them dimly before they left the room. She diverted her attention back to Derek who was as this point almost sobbing his heart out.

"Oh my god your ok" Derek sobbed as he took hold of Meredith's hand and kissed it repeatedly.

Meredith said nothing she just smiled, tears began to fall down from her cheeks as she smiled feebly

"Oh my god I love you so much, I'm so sorry for everything I've done to cause you pain, I'm so sorry Mer. I love you" He cried as she kissed her hand once more. He waited for a reply anything just to let him know she was ok. Meredith just lay there staring at him with her deep grey glistening eyes

"I'm so sorry" He said once more before lowering his head down into her chest

"I love you too" She replied with a rocky voice. Clearly having a tube down your throat hurt a lot

"Thank you, for being ok" He said before standing up and perching himself up onto her bed before relaxing himself behind her. He moved his arm across her stomach and held onto her tightly before drifting off to sleep.

**XXXXX**

Meredith woke a few hours later; she turned onto her back and began to pan the room, no sign of Derek. _'Where could he be' _she thought to herself. Suddenly a wave of nausea hit heR, she held on her stomach and took in a deep breath. _'The dream' _she reminded herself quickly, was she really pregnant? Suddenly Derek's figure appeared threw the window of the door, he looked as if he was about to enter when a nurse pulled him away.

"Dr Shepherd, Dr StevenS would like to see you" The nurse informed him

"Is it about Meredith?"Derek asked as he walked towards the nurse's station

"Yes sir" The nurse replied

"Derek!" Izzie shouted as she walked off the elevator towards him

"Daddy" a little voice called exiting the elevator behind Izzie

"Hi princess, you ok" Derek smiled as he picked Abbey up and lifted her onto the nurse's station

"Yeah, hehe Uncle George gave Stan a heart attack and he died" Abbey laughed

"Really?" Derek laughed as he looked up at George

"Abbey can you go play with George for a moment I need to talk with your dad" Izzie asked as she lifted Abbey off the desk

"Sure" Abbey smiled before following George down the hall

"Derek, there something that I found on Meredith's blood results" Izzie said as she handed Derek Meredith's chart

"Ok" Derek replied looming a bit confused. He opened the chart and quickly scanned it until he reached the bottom of the page, his face suddenly turned white

"Are you sure?" Derek asked

"Yeah we ran it twice" Izzie said gazing at Derek waiting for a reaction

"Does anyone else know?" Derek asked

"No only me and you" Izzie replied trying to keep a smile from forming on her lips

"Ok, I will tell her" Derek replied before turning and walking down the hall "Oh Izzie!" Derek shouted

"Yeah" Izzie asked as she shot her head up

"Thank you!" Derek said with joy as he threw his arms up in the air before rushing down the hall

Izzie said nothing she just shook her head and laughed

Once Derek reached Meredith room he took in a deep breath before entering

"Ok here goes" He said to himself before opening the door to Meredith room

"Hi" Derek said as he walked over to Meredith and kissed her on the forehead

"Hi" She replied with a smile "How's Abbey?" Meredith asked

"Oh she's fine. She's in the skills lab giving the dummies heart attacks" Derek laughed

"Really?" Meredith laughed, a wave of nausea hit her once more. She closed her eyes and placed her hand on top of her stomach

"You ok?" Derek asked as he placed his hand on top of Meredith's which rested on her abdomen

"I've just been feeling a little sick, it's nothing" Meredith replied. Should she tell him, or would it make her sound crazy, thinking that she might be pregnant. But how could she be, they where being so careful. _'Wait' _Meredith thought to herself. She was on the pill, but what about all the things Chris was saying. Her mind skipped back a few months early around the time the couple had there arguments. She missed the pill. She suddenly remembered she stopped taking her pill and then there was the whole makeup sex deal. _'Crap!' _Meredith thought

"Mer, there's something I need to tell you..." Derek began as he took Meredith's hand in his "... I don't want you to freak out ok..."

"I'm pregnant, aren't I?" Meredith suddenly blurted out

Derek stared at her for a moment _'What? How?' _he thought

"Yes, you are" He replied, he sat waiting for a response "Are you...? Are you ok?" He asked as he ran his finger over the palm of her hand

"Yeah I am" Meredith said as she broke out into a smile "Everything's just how it should be" She smiled before leaning in to kiss Derek on the lips "I love you" She said as she broke the kiss

"I love you to" He replied.

* * *

'**The Babble'**

So the next chapter is called 'Holding Hands In The Shower' i don't know the lyrics but i liked the name of the song, it goes well with what i want to do in the next chapter... i'm guessing you get the hint!

_- Well I have to say that I loved writing this chapter, it's my favourites. I never really had any plan on the dynamics of it. I just made it up as I went along! I'm soo proud. So you guys do get that when Mer was talking to Chris near the end she was in a way talking to her Chris up in the heavens too, like he was reassuring her that he was ok and that it was time for her to move on. I loved how I came up with that bit. I got this idea of an Alternative Universe thing from an episode of The OC. The one where Ryan and Taylor are in a coma... (Rambling...) Anyways I hope you like it! It wont be coming for a while yet. i'll let you know when it's on paper._

_Oh and as for Mer being pregnant... YAY! =)_

_Soo moving on to the next topic I told you in the last Babble that I was going to have Abbey come in and say good bye to Mer. Well TBH I don't think it's that good, I just drafted it out on my IPod Touch lol (That's where I draft some little things when they come to mind randomly in the day. I don't go anywhere without my IPod) =p_

_Soo here's the draft I did but in more detail! Hope you like it!_

**

* * *

_Abbey's Goodbye._**

_Izzie had just broken the news to Derek about his wife's unfortunate condition. Meredith the love of his life was fighting for her life. Fighting to stay, fighting to live. Hid first reaction was to break down and cry. But he couldn't he had to stay strong for Abbey, she need him more than ever now. The possibility of his little girl growing up without her mother was daunting. He knew how it felt. Growing up without a father was hell for him. Having him die when he was such a young age was the worst thing that could happen to him. But Derek knew that Meredith would not give up, she wouldn't give up on her daughter or him. She has overcome so much in her life time. And now was not the time to give up the fight._

_"Derek?" He heard a voice beside him_

_"Iz how is she?" Derek asked as she wiped away a tiny tear that was sliding down his cheek bone as he watched her take a seat next to him in the waiting room._

_"Not good Derek, I think it's time you told Abbey" Izzie suggested kindly as she placed her hand on his shoulder_

_"No I can't, she can't see her mom like that" Derek whimpered_

_"Derek, she may never see her again. Go get her, let her say goodbye to her mom" Izzie said compassionately_

_Derek stared into Izzie's eyes and finally nodded in response. He picked himself up from the chair and walked down the corridor to the daycare center._

_XXXXXX_

_"Daddy, where are we going?" Abbey asked her father as she held onto his hand as they walked down the hallway_

_"Ok..." Derek began as they stopped outside Meredith room. Derek bent down face level with Abbey and brushed some of her long string hair behind her ear._

_"Mommy is very ill. Ok? So when I take you in her room, there will be a tube coming from her mouth. I don't want you to get scared; it's just there to help her breathe ok?" Derek said gently_

_"She can't breathe?" Abbey said in a squeaky little tone_

_"No not right now" He replied before standing up and taking her hand._

_Derek opened the door to Meredith room and guided his daughter inside._

_Once inside Abbey climbed on top of the bed and began to gaze at her mother as her chest continued to rise and fall in even motions._

_"Is she sleeping?" Abbey asked as she turned to look at her father who was sitting on a chair beside them both_

_"Yeah she is" Derek replied as she took hold of Meredith's hand and began to stroke it tenderly_

_"Is she ok?" Abbey asked. Derek could see tears begin to fill up in her large gaping eyes_

_"Mommy needs all your love right now, but I need you to know that she might not wake up" Derek explained as he ran his fingers through Abbey's hair_

_"Can you fix her?" Abbey asked as she continued to stare at her mother_

_"No baby, that's not up to me, if I could I would. She just needs you to tell her how much you love her and that you are always thinking of her, ok?" Derek said, a tear crawled into his eye._

_Abbey turned to look at her father for a second. Derek looked back at her and nodded_

_"It's ok" Derek said as he watched Abbey crawl across the bed and kneel before her mom_

_"Mommy...?" Abbey said in a sweet tone "... I love you. Please don't die..." She said as she began to sob quietly "... I love you, I love you" Abbey repeated as tears ran down her face_

_"Shh... its ok, its ok, come here" Derek said as he lifted his daughter onto his lap and began to cradle her_

_"Derek?" a voice whispered through the door_

_"Yeah?" Derek replied as he lifted his head_

_"We need to take her now" Izzie informed him_

_"Ok" Derek replied_

_Abbey continued to cry as Derek watched the nurses wheel his wife out of the room._

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	17. Holding Hands In The Shower

It was sunny for once in the city of Seattle. Derek had left for work early and left Meredith home asleep in bed. The time was 6:00am and Meredith was lying wide awake in bed staring out of the window at the sun which was shining through the window slightly.

"Mommy?" Abbey said softly from the outside of Meredith's bedroom door

"Come in baby" Meredith replied as she sat herself up in her bed

"Guess what?" Abbey said as she jumped onto Meredith's bed and cuddled into her mom's arms

"What?" Meredith smiled

"I'm 5 in..." Abbey began as she began to count on her fingers "... three days" she giggled

"I know" Meredith smiled as she kissed her daughter on the forehead

"What are we doing today mommy?" Abbey asked as she lifted herself up onto her knees to play with Meredith's hair

"Well we have to go to the hospital for a while..." Meredith began

"You're working?" Abbey asked disappointingly

"No baby..." Meredith replied as she ran her fingers through Abbey's fine hair "... We are going to take a look at your brother or sister" Meredith smiled

"That's today?" Abbey said with a wide smile

"Yeah it is" Meredith replied

"Cool..." Abbey said before standing up on the bed "... well come on mommy, move. We gotta go" Abbey continued as she jumped onto the floor and ran out of the room

"Ok I'm coming" Meredith shouted as she rolled back her covers and climbed out of bed

**XXXXX**

Meredith and Abbey arrived at the hospital an hour later, as they stood in the elevator waiting for it to stop on their floor Meredith took a quick peek at her watch. She had 20 minutes until her appointment with the OB.

"Georrrgge" Abbey shouted over expressing the letter R, when the elevator door opened

"Hi you" George replied as he entered the elevator before lifting Abbey into his arms "You are so big, I don't think I'm going to be able to pick you up for much longer" George smiled as he placed her back down onto the floor before taking the space next to Meredith.

"You ok?" George asked when he noticed Meredith staring into space

"Yeah, it's just alot, you know?" Meredith confessed

"I know. But you can do this, your fine right?" George asked compassionately

Meredith turned and smiled at him slightly before the elevator dinged and she stepped out

"Yeah I'm fine. Is Derek in surgery?" Meredith asked as she took Abbeys hand

"Yeah OR1" George smiled as the elevator doors closed between them

**XXXXXX**

Meredith sat up in the empty OR gallery watching her husband perform a craniotomy. Every now and then he would look up at her and smile. He was so happy that she had survived and even more now because she was carrying his child.

"Moooommmy?" Abbey called to Meredith

"Yeah baby" Meredith replied as she looked down at her daughter who was sitting on the floor playing with her teddy bear

"Are we going to see my brother soon?" Abbey asked with an immense smile

"Soon baby, we have to wait for daddy" Meredith replied

"How longs he going to be?" Abbey asked

"I don't know, we have some time yet. Tell you what why don't you ask him" Meredith said as he stood up and held her hand out to Abbey

"Oook" Abbey grinned as she gripped onto Meredith's hand and pulled herself up onto her feet

"Ok talk in there" Meredith said before picking Abbey up and pressing the intercom button

"Daddy?" Abbey called

The sound of his little girl's voice filled the OR. As she called to him the scrub nurses looked up into the gallery and smiled at the sight of this little girl calling her father.

"Yeah sweetie" Derek replied never taking his eyes off the open brain cavity in front of him

"... Suction there please" he said to his intern as he probed around in his patients brain

"Are you finished yet? I want to go see my brother" Abbey asked as she stared down at him through the glass window

"Nearly honey. Your brother huh?" Derek asked as he lifted his head to look up at her

"Yeah, I want a brother" Abbey replied with a short giggle

"Really? You want a brother?" Derek asked as he continued his task

"Yep" Abby replied with a smile

"Ok then..." Derek sniggered "... I'll be done..." Derek cut himself of when alarms began to sound

"She's crashing" the interns shouted

"Ok get the paddles" Derek called as everyone began to move quickly around the room to start their new duties, keeping this woman alive.

As Meredith watched everyone down in the OR begin to rush around she knew that Abbey wouldn't understand what was happening, and Meredith didn't really want to explain it to her. So she turned around and carried her daughter out of the gallery into the hallway.

"Mommy where are we going?" Abbey asked as Meredith set her on the floor

"We are going to the vending machines, momma needs a munch" Meredith smiled

"Good, Abbey needs a munch too" Abbey replied with a chuckle

Abbey then ran to down the stairs as fast as she could, running past the nurse's station towards to cafeteria, Meredith followed behind her. She knew Abbey would be safe running ahead alone, heck she knew her way around the hospital nearly as well as Meredith did.

"Abbey slow down" Meredith called

"No time, I'm hungry" She heard Abbey's little voice shout from behind the cafeteria doors

"So am I" Meredith whispered to herself as she placed her hand on her stomach. As she walked into the cafeteria she spotted Cristina sitting alone at a table. She walked over to Abby who was inspecting the chocolate and chips in the vending machine intensely.

"Which one do you want?" Meredith asked as she pulled out some money from her pocket

"Erm... That one" Abbey said as she pointed at a packet of cheetoes

"Ok then" Meredith replied as she inserted the money into the machine and pressed the item number "Ok there you go" Meredith said as she bent down pulling out the chips and handing them to Abbey

"Thank you" Abbey smiled

"Ok go sit next to Cristina, I'll be over in a minute" Meredith said as she herself began to inspect the machine

"Ok" Abbey replied

"Hey ladybug, what are you doing here" Cristina asked as Abbey lifted herself up onto the chair next to her

"Eating, and then I'm going to see my brother..." Abbey began

"... Or sister" Meredith finished as she took a seat next to Abbey

"Yeah, but I want a brother" Abbey replied

"Well we can't pick what we want. You get what you're given" Meredith informed her

"Isn't that what you say when you make me my diner?" Abbey asked as she tried to open her packet of chips

"Yes but, it goes with this too" Meredith said as she pointed down at her flat stomach

"Mer when's your scan?" Cristina asked changing the subject

"In..." Meredith began as she looked at her watch "... 10 minutes, Derek better hurry"

"How are you feeling?" Cristina asked

"Fine, I'm tired all the time, but I'm ok" Meredith replied throwing a sympathetic smile at her person

"Well that's to be expected, it's been what, three weeks since your whole deal. No one expects you to be back on your feet so soon" Cristina informed her

"I know, but I've been house bound for the past two weeks and stuck in a hospital bed a week before that, I just want to get back to work you know..." Meredith began "... Not that I didn't enjoy my time off, I did it's just making me feel crazy being stuck inside that house all day" Meredith finished

"Mommy?" Abbey said as she handed her mom the chips that she still hadn't been able to open

"Come here" Meredith said as she received the packet and opened it for her

"Thank you" Abbey said as she took back the chips and stuck her tiny hand inside

"What's Derek say?" Cristina asked

"About what?" Meredith replied

"About you going back to work so soon"

"He doesn't think it's a good idea, he wants me to take an extra week off, but I told him no. Besides I can't afford to have any more time off, we're down a neuro surgeon and once the baby is born I'll be on maternity leave for god knows how long" Meredith explained

"It's not like you need the practice though, I mean you're one of the best surgeons in the state" Cristina replied

"Yeah, I guess you're right, plus I'll been spending more time with this one, won't I?" Meredith said as she stroked Abbey hair

"Yeff" Abbey mumbled with food in her mouth

"Oh neuro god at 3 o'clock" Cristina said as she took a sip of her coffee

"What?" Meredith asked before feeling a pair of hands cup her shoulders

"Hi" Derek said as he leaned over her shoulder and kissed her cheek

"Hey" Meredith replied with a grin

"What are we talking about?" Derek asked as he took a seat next to Meredith

"Nothing important, can we go now?" Abbey moaned

"Ok" Meredith replied as she stood up and picked up her bag "IIII'm gonna goo, see my fetus" Meredith said in an upbeat tone

"Ok you go do that" Cristina laughed as raised her hand up into the air

"Bye Cristina" Meredith replied as she walked past her person slapping her hand on the way.

"Come on Abbey" Derek called as he followed Meredith towards the cafeteria doors

"Coming" Abbey said before lifting herself off her chair. She handed Cristina her empty packet of cheetoes before running towards Derek who was holding the door open for her.

"Thanks" Cristina called

"You're very welcome" Abbey shouted as she exited the room

Derek threw a quick grin at Cristina before following his daughter into the hallway.

**XXXXX**

Once they stepped onto the neonatal floor Abbey ran towards a large glass window and began to gaze inside.

"I'm gonna go check in" Meredith said to Derek before making her way over to the nurse's station

"Ok..." Derek replied. He stopped for a moment and watched as Abbey stood captivated by all the newborn babies that lay in their cribs. He smiled before making his way over to her.

"Mommy's going to have one of them?" Abbey asked as Derek lifted her into his arms

"Yes she is" Derek replied as he stood gazing into the nursery, as he balanced Abbey on his hip

"When?" Abbey asked

"Not for a few months, we have to wait" Derek replied

"Well I want one now" Abbey said as she eyed her father with her large gaping eyes

"Well we can't have one yet, you have to wait" Derek explained

"Why? Why can't she just have one now?" Abbey asked

"Because..." Derek began, _'great how am I going to explain this one?' _he thought"... You can't just get a baby there and then you have to wait for it to grow" Derek explained

"Oh. How big is mommy's now?" Abbey asked

"You are really full of questions today aren't you" Derek laughed as she push back some of her hair from her face

"Yep" Abbey smiled

"Ok, it's about this big" Derek said as he lifted her hands up and sized her two index fingers a certain distance apart

"That's it?" Abbey replied with a confused look on her face

"Yep..." Derek smiled

"Oh, and it has to grow that big" Abbey continued as she pointed to the babies in the nursery

"Yeah you got it" Derek laughed

"Ok, where is it?" Abbey asked with a cheeky grin

"Ha-ha..." Derek began to laugh "... It's in mommy's belly" Derek replied

"Oh" was all Abbey could say, she scrunched up her nose and closed her eyes

"What?" Derek asked grinning

"Ahh..." Abbey sighed as she opened her eyes "... I was going to sneeze"

"Ok I'm all checked in" Meredith said as she joined Derek and Abbey at the window

"Looking at babies are we Abz?" Meredith said as she reach for Abbey's hand and kissed it lightly

"Mommy, there's a baby in your belly" Abbey said as Derek placed her down and the floor

"Yeah I know" Meredith replied as she placed her hand on top of her head "What did you tell her?" Meredith whispered to Derek

"Nothing!" Derek replied.

Meredith pulled a questioning expression which caused Derek to laugh

"Nothing" He repeated once more

"Hey guys" a voice said from behind them

"Hey Iz" Meredith replied "Thanks for this" Meredith thanked her

"It's fine" Izzie replied

"Meredith Grey-Shepherd?" a nurse suddenly called .Meredith turned and nodded at the nurse before turning back to Abbey

"Ok baby, I'll be back in 10 minutes. Can you stay with Izzie out here?" Meredith said leaning down to Abbey's level

"But I want to see my brother" Abbey begged while pulling a long face

"You will, I get you a picture just for you ok?" Meredith promised

"Ok" Abbey replied

"Ok see you in a bit, be good" Meredith said

"See you in a minute" Derek said to his wife as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm

"Ok" Meredith smiled before following the nurse into the exam room

"Ok can you change into this gown for me and you're OB will be in a moment" the nurse said as she handed Meredith the gown before pulling back the curtain.

"Would you like me too fetch your husband?" She asked as she opened the door

"Please" Meredith replied as she began to undress

"Ok" The nurse said as she walked out of the room closing the door behind her

"_Would you like me to fetch your husband? _What is he a dog?" Meredith said sarcastically as she continued to undress herself "I'll throw something for you to fetch in a minute..." Meredith continued to ramble to herself. Suddenly she heard the door open

"Talking to yourself?" Derek said as he closed the door behind him

"No!" Meredith exclaimed

"Who kicked your dog?" Derek asked as he took a seat on a chair on the other side of the curtain

"Sorry that nurse, she was giving me evil looks" Meredith confessed

"I'm sure she wasn't" Derek replied

"Oh she was" Meredith continued as she fumbled with her gown to put it on

Derek sat on the chair watching Meredith's shadow on the curtain as she switched her clothes. He could see the shape of her flawlessly figured body on the curtain. You wouldn't even notice she had carried two children; her body was so slim and slender. One of the millions of amazing qualities she had.

"Sorry..." Meredith said as she drew the curtain back "... I'm just in a badass mood today" Meredith said as she walked over to Derek and sat on his knee

"Well badass though you maybe, you're still beautiful" Derek complimented her before kissing her on the lips tenderly.

"Shut up" Meredith smiled before placing her hand around the back of his neck to play with the curls of his hair. He leaned forward once more and kissed her softly on the lips

"Derek..." Meredith said as she pulled away from him "... Not now" She laughed as she stood up

"Sorry..." Derek replied as he helped her on to the exam table

"I could have sex with you right now" Derek said into her ear as she lied herself back onto the table

"Ah-ha..." Meredith laughed "... But you're not" she replied pushing his face away from hers

"After?" Derek asked cheekily

"Nope, I'm not in the mood. As much as it would cheer me up, and you know it would, like really would, I feel all disgusting today" Meredith said "What?" she laughed when she noticed Derek shaking his head at her

"You can never look disgusting" Derek replied as he lifted up her hand and kissed it delicately

"_Aw how sweet_" Meredith said sarcastically

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and the OB resident walked in.

"Hello Meredith, it's been a long time" Dr Walker smiled

"It has" Meredith smiled

"Good morning Derek, how are you?" She asked

"I'm great thanks, yourself?" Derek replied

"I'm good. Saw Abbey outside she's adorable" Dr Walker said as she opened Meredith's details on her computer

"Yeah, she's amazing" Meredith said with a smile looking at Derek

"Yeah it only seems like 5 minutes ago I was delivering her. How time flies" Dr Walker said as she wheeled herself over to Meredith "Ok... Let's take a look" Dr Walker said as Meredith lay flat on the table

"You know the deal..." Dr Walker said as she lifted up Meredith gown exposing her stomach "It's going to be cold" She informed her

"Yep" Meredith gasped as she placed the cold wand onto her stomach

"You're doing fine baby" Derek reassured her as she gripped onto his hand waiting in anticipation

"Ok there we go..." Dr Walker said as she pointed at the screen. Meredith looked at the screen in amazement. Her face lit up when she heard the sound of her baby's heart beat fill the room

"That's amazing" Derek said as he stared at the screen

"Yeah, I thought it would feel different you know, this time around, less exciting but it doesn't" Meredith said with a smile

"Thank you" Derek whispered as he kissed her forehead

"Ok so you look around 10 weeks, do you want me to calculate the due date for you?" Dr Walker asked as she printed of a picture of the baby

"Yeah" Meredith said as she and Derek looked at each other

"Ok, I'm going to take some measurements of the baby, and I'm going to need information on your period schedule" Dr Walker informed her as she began to size up the baby on the screen

"Ok, I'm gonna go check on Abbey. I'll be right back" Derek said as he stood up.

"Ok" Meredith replied as he leaned down and kissed her quickly on the lips before leaving the room.

Derek closed the door behind him as made his way over to Izzie and Abbey who were sitting in the play area of the waiting room

"Hey, everything ok?" Izzie asked as Derek took a seat next to her

"Yeah everything fine, just thought I check on Abbey" Derek said as he stroked his little girls head as she sat on the floor

"Daddy, where's my picture?" Abbey asked as she got up and stood in front of her dad

"Their taking one now for you" Derek replied

"Ok" Abbey said before walking over to the other side of the play area

"Where's Mer?" Izzie asked as she sat back in her seat

"Oh Dr Walker's estimating the due date" Derek said with a smile

"Ohh, and all the womanly period talk was to boring for you?" Izzie laughed

"Yes to much estrogen for my liking" Derek giggled

"Daddy come play with me" Abbey shouted across the play area

"Duty calls" Derek laughed before making his way over the his daughter

Izzie laughed as she watched Derek sit on the ground and begin to play dolls with his '_baby girl' _as Derek sometimes called her

Time seemed to go on forever, but finally 15 minutes later Meredith appeared in the waiting area. She walked over to Izzie and stood watching Derek play with Abbey on the floor

"That is so cute" Izzie said pointing towards Derek and Abbey as she looked up at Meredith

"Yeah, Derek's a sucker for Barbie dolls" Meredith laughed "... Oh here" Meredith said as she handed Izzie a picture of her baby

"Aww Meredith he's soo cute" Izzie replied excitingly

"Thanks, you think it's a he to?" Meredith replied as she put on her coat

"Well Abbey's so convinced she's having a baby brother... So why not" Izzie laughed

"I know, wait until she finds out it a girl" Meredith laughed as she buttoned up her coat before sitting next to Izzie

"A girl?" Izzie asked in confusion "... How do you know it's a girl?"

"I don't... I mean I just have a feeling" Meredith replied. And she did have a feeling, she was almost convinced it was a girl, plus her son in her dream told her that she was having a girl.

"Hi" Derek said as he made is why over to Meredith

"Hi" She smiled as he leaned down and kissed her on the lips quickly

"Mommy..." Abbey shouted as she ran over to her mom

"Hey you" Meredith replied as she lifted Abbey onto her knee

"Where's my picture" Abbey asked holding out her hand

"Here" Izzie said as she handed Abbey the picture of her _'brother'_

"That's my brother?" Abbey asked as she looked at the picture

"Yeah" Meredith replied "... There's his head, and that's an arm" Meredith pointed to the photo as Abbey held onto it

"Can I show this too Liam?" Abbey asked as she looked up at her mom

"Yeah, when we see him" Meredith replied

"He's in daycare if you want to show him now..." Izzie began "... I can take her. It'll give you people some happily fetus time together" Izzie laughed

"Yeah sure..." Derek replied

"Yeah take her. I think I'm gonna head home" Meredith added

"Are you sure? Don't you want to...?" Izzie began

"... No, Erm I'm just going to head home I'm feeling a little tired" Meredith replied

"Ok, I'll see you guys later" Izzie said as she stood up from her seat "Ok Abbey lets go find Liam" She told Abbey

"Ok" Abbey said as she latched onto Izzie's hand "Bye mommy, bye daddy. Love you" She told her parents

"Love you too baby" Meredith replied as she kissed Abbey's head

"Cya princess" Derek added before watching his daughter walk away with Izzie

"Are you sure you don't want to celebrate...?" Derek asked as Meredith stood up in front of him "I was thinking about getting a nice hot _steamy _shower" Derek whispered into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her

"I'd love to, but I think I'm just gonna head home, I'm fried" Meredith replied wrapping her arms around his waist

"Ok, see you later?" Derek said as Meredith buried her head into his chest

"Yeah" Meredith replied as she breathed into his scrub top

"Are you sure you're ok?" Derek asked as he placed his fingers underneath her chin and tilted her head upwards

"Yeah, I'm over crammed with hormones, its fine" Meredith replied before placing a kiss onto his lips "See you"

"Yeah" Derek replied before placing a kiss onto her forehead before watching her walk away from him towards the elevator.

**XXXXX**

It had been a long day for Derek Shepherd. He had been assigned back to back surgeries since Meredith left earlier that morning.

Finally he was in his car on his way home. He turned into their street and pulled into the driveway. He extracted himself from his car and headed up to the front door. Once inside he took of his coat and shoes and made his way into the kitchen.

Everywhere was dark, every light in the house was switched off, _'Meredith must be in bed' _he thought to himself. He flipped the kitchen light on and walked over to the sink picking up a wet cup from the drainage board. Derek scanned the kitchen and noticed it had been cleaned. Not that it wasn't clean before, it was just usually full of toys. It was a never ending room of fun for his little Abbey. Derek walked over to the fridge to pull out a carton of milk. Before he opened the door he noticed a photo of the scan they had earlier in the day and there was a sticky note attached to it Derek pulled it from underneath the magnet and read the writing _'November 19th'_ their baby was due on the 19th of November. _'You have made me the happiest man on earth' _Derek said to himself before kissing the photo and pinning it back onto the fridge.

Once he had drunk the glass of milk he placed it into the sink and made his way up the stairs. As he neared the top of the staircase he heard the soft soothing sound of running water. A small smile crept across his face when he realised that Meredith was still awake.

He entered his bedroom to find the side light on. As he walked over to his bed he lifted his plain white t-shirt over his head and threw it with the pile of Meredith's clothes that where spread across the bed. He sat on his side of the bed and begun to take of his socks, as he was about to take of his belt he her a slight whimper coming from behind the en-suite door. Derek looked intensely at the door before standing up and walking over to it.

"Meredith?" Derek asked gently as he knocked on the door "Mer? Are you ok?" He asked once more

"Yeah, I'm fine" Meredith replied with a sorrowed voice

"Meredith you're not fine" Derek replied as he leaned against the door

"I'm fine, just leave me alone" Meredith replied sharply

"Meredith..." Derek said hesitantly, He placed his hand on the door knob, knowing that the door would be unlocked. Meredith never locked the bathroom door. In fact it was pretty strange for Derek to even see it closed Meredith usually locked the bedroom door and left the en-suite door open. She had 100% trust with Derek and she didn't feel uncomfortable exposing herself to him, intimately or even casually, the feeling went both ways.

As Derek placed his hand on the door knob he hesitated for a second and called for her again

"Meredith..." He began as he slowly turned the door knob "... I'm coming in" He finished as he open the door slightly.

He cautiously moved his head around the door and immediately spotted Meredith sobbing behind the frosty glass door of the shower.

"Mer..." Derek said sorrowfully as he walked into the bathroom closing the door behind him. He undid his belt and pulled his trousers and boxers down before stepping into the shower behind her

"I said I'm fine" Meredith cried as she felt Derek press his chest against her back

"Meredith, you're not fine, you're upset" Derek said as he slid his hands up and down her ribs

"Derek..." Meredith sobbed. She pressed her arms against her chest as she held her hands over her face wiping away her flowing tear and the water that was cascading down from head to foot

"Hey... it's ok I'm here" Derek reassured her as he wrapped his arms around her chest and intertwined his fingers with hers.

"Ohh" Meredith sighed as she let her head fall back onto his wet chest.

Derek placed his head over her shoulder and placed a kiss onto her cheek before kissing her earlobe tenderly. "Breathe" Derek instructed her as he began to kiss her neck. This was one of the few things that Derek knew would calm her. Just feeling the touch of his lips on her skin calmed her breathing and returned it to a more normal pace.

"I'm ok" Meredith responded as Derek lifted his head from her neck

"You sure?" Derek replied

"I..." Meredith hesitated

"What?" Derek said as he squeezed her fingers in reassurance. Just to let her know that he was there "It's ok, talk to me" Derek said as he placed a kiss onto her shoulder

"I'm scared" Meredith confessed and she turned in his arms

"Why?" Derek said as he placed his large hands onto her slender back

"I'm scared of losing it" Meredith admitted as she placed her hands onto Derek's hips

"Hey, listen to me..." Derek replied as he placed his hands onto her cheeks before running them up and through her hair leaving them to rest just behind her ears "... It's completely normal to feel that way, everyone one feels that way" Derek said as he gazed into her red puffy eyes

"I know but..." Meredith began

"I know it's harder for you..." Derek interrupted her "... With Christopher, I know. But this baby..." Derek began as he ran his hands over her shoulders down over her ribs and finally finding home on her stomach "... Our baby is a miracle. You deserve this Meredith more than anyone. You have been through so much. And for our baby to have survived what happened to you is more than amazing. You guys have been through this traumatic ordeal _together_ and you both came through and that is something that words can't even describe. You're here, and so is he _or she_..." Derek said smile a smile at the end.

"I love you" Meredith after a few seconds

"I love you too" Derek replied as he kissed her tenderly "And you" He repeated as he placed his hands onto Meredith's waist as he knelt down and kissed her naked stomach

"Derek..." Meredith said as she placed her hands onto his head

"Yeah" He replied as he returned his face level with hers

"Do that again" Meredith said with a smile as she placed her hands onto of his shoulders

"What" Derek asked moving his head back a few inches in confusion

"Kiss me again" Meredith asked him as she pushed down on his shoulders to lower him

Derek smiled as he gripped onto her upper hips and kissed her bare stomach

"Better?" Derek asked as he continued to peck at her belly

"Lower" Meredith smiled as he placed her hands in his hair

"Mmm" Derek moaned with a smile as he lowered his head and began kissing her pubic bone

"Mmm" Meredith moaned "... Little bit lower" She ordered as she closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip

Derek did as she ordered and kissed her slowly descending further down until he finally reached her womanhood.

"Ohh" Meredith moaned loudly as she felt Derek dip his tongue inside her "Where did you say Abbey was?" Meredith asked as she ran her hands over his head

"Izzie's" Derek replied as he pulled himself away slightly.

"Ok" Meredith said breathlessly "Mm" She gasped quickly as she closed her eyes once more and tilted her head back slightly into the downpour if the shower water. "Oooh..." Meredith cried loudly "... Right there" she informed him as she felt Derek begin to simulate her clit.

"Here?" Derek asked teasingly as he licked her lightly

"Yeah... Derek... Please" Meredith panted

Meredith cried in pleasure as Derek wrapped his lips around her and continued to simulate her most sensitive spot immensely. Minutes later she felt her orgasm surface, she was close. Meredith arched her upper body backwards slightly as Derek continued to please her, she wrapped one hand in his curls and the other slammed flat onto the left glass panel of the shower wall.

"Oh my god" Meredith cried as she suddenly felt a rush of heat flow through her veins. Derek tilted his head back slightly as Meredith pushed herself into his mouth harder. She began to rock her hips back and forth. She could feel the outline of his teeth around her swollen clit as he licked her vigorously. Suddenly her body tensed and a strong force overcame her and she let herself go. She leaned forward over him and slammed her hand onto the glass wall in front of her to keep her balance as the other entangled through the curls on the back of his neck to push him into her more.

"Oh, oh fuck! Fuck, ahh" She screamed hoarsely as her orgasm ripped through her "Derek..." She cried almost in tears from the intensity of her orgasm. Once she slowed her pace and rode out her orgasm, she dropped to her knees, to lower herself to Derek's level. She kissed him passionately as she placed her hands onto his jaw line.

"Thank you" Meredith spoke breathlessly, almost inaudible.

"Mmm" Derek moaned as he kissed her quickly.

He then began to shift himself before lifting himself up in front of her. As he did so he caught Meredith under her armpits with his arms and lifted her up gently slamming her against the shower wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Derek began to kiss her chest slowly, and he ran his tongue over her collar bone. Meredith closed her eyes and tilted her head back so it rested against the glass wall. Derek then pushed himself in her and began his rhythmic moments as he pushed deep and deeper inside his wife.

'_**The Babble'**_

_Ok so I hope you like this chapter! (REVIEWS) It's a long one for you. This chapter is my gift to you, because I've given Mer a hard time lately =p_

_I think I might change the Chapter thing to M lol!_

_Anyways I hope you liked this one =)_

_The next chapter is called "Birthday Cake Blow Out!" =D_


	18. Birthday Cake Blow Out

_**Thanks for the review i love reading them they make me smile. love you guys your awesome!**_

**_Warning: Lots of MerDer hotness at the start. I'm just warning you!_**

* * *

May 2nd was a special day for one little girl. It was a day when Meredith and Derek always put their tempered feelings aside. For the past two years Meredith and Derek had lived through this day, full of emotions and anger. But for the first time in a long time, they were celebrating this day together as a real family, with no strong feelings of hatred. They could celebrate the fact that their daughter was turning 5 today like a real happy family.

Meredith woke early that morning to find herself lying against Derek's naked body. His warm bare chest was pressed against her back and his arm was draped over her waist with his hand latching onto her elbow.

She lay there for a while, with a smile on her face. Derek had his head placed behind her shoulder; she could feel the long soothing feeling of his breath hitting her neck, sending shivers down her spine. Finally she looked up at her clock which read 5:38am. She then slowly turned her body around and lay face to face with Derek. As he began to stir against her she reached forward and kissed him on the lips tenderly. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled.

"Hi" Derek greeted her as he repositioned his hand from her waist down to her outer thigh

"Hi" Meredith smiled back before cocking her leg over his thigh bringing them closer together

Derek ran his hand from her naked thigh over her buttocks to her lower back

"Thanks for last night I really needed that" Meredith said with a grin, a hard day's work always ended well with a husband like Derek.

"You're welcome" Derek smiled back. They gazed at each other for a moment before Derek raised his hand and traced his fingers along her jaw line to her chin. He leaned forward and kissed her tenderly, inserting his tongue into her mouth. She returned the gesture by placing her hand into his hair at the back of his head. As they continued to make out Meredith began to shift beside him and she pushed him onto his back before rolling on top on him. She did so without separating their lips. As they continued to kiss Meredith placed both her hands either side of Derek's head on the pillow and he gripped onto Meredith's hips as she straddled him.

"Mm ha-ha" Meredith laughed as she finished the kiss "So Dr Shepherd..." Meredith began

"... Yes Dr Shepherd?" Derek replied as he ran his hands over her naked body

Meredith lingered herself over Derek pressing all her weight onto both hands which were still on the pillow either side of his head.

"I think..." Meredith began "... We need a quickie" She suggested as she lowered her face closer to his so their lips were inches apart

"Mmm... I do too" Derek grinned.

Meredith lent down and begun to kiss his neck gently. As she did so Derek stretched his arms down and latched onto the duvet cover which was down to his knees. He pulled it up and rested it on her lower back as she continued to kiss his chest eagerly.

As Meredith continued to kiss him passionately, she could feel his hardened bulge beneath her crotch. She lifted her waist as Derek positioned himself at her entrance.

"Mm..." Meredith moaned as she lowered herself onto his erection, pushing him deep inside her with one stroke.

Derek moaned in response. He placed his hands on her butt and began to glide her up and down his hardened mast. Meredith began to moan as her body fired up with heat and intensity. She continued to rock herself rapidly above him. Moments later she began to cry out in harmony as the feeling of her first orgasm began to surface.

"Oh, fuck, ah, ahhh..." Meredith cried out in pleasure

"Shhh" Derek whispered into her ear.

She placed her head into the crook of his neck and wrapped her fingers into his hair and she felt her orgasm peek

"Der... I can't, oh my god..." Meredith panted into his ear "... Ahh" she suddenly cried as she exploded around him, she dug her finger nails into his shoulders and cried out in ecstasy as he slammed into her.

"Shh... Shh... Calm down" Derek panted into her ear as he quickened his pace for her

She closed her eyes and bit her lip, tying not to make a sound that would wake Abbey up down the hall. Meredith new she could, she was loud. Time and time again her old roommates would complain about her moaning in the night.

"Harder..." She regimented as she continued to thrust back and forth on top of him, she lifted her head up and began to kiss his lips passionately, inserting her tongue into his mouth.

"Ahh, shit...! Mm..." she cried into his mouth. Anyone would think she was crying in pain not pleasure with the way she was expressing herself.

"Meredith!" Derek panted as Meredith tried to kiss him "Shut up!" He ordered as he placed his hand on the over the back of her head, pushing it lightly onto his shoulder. He could see her naked sweaty back before him gradually slowing its pace as her orgasm neared its end. Eventually her body came to a halt and she lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him.

"I..." Meredith panted unable to speak

"... I know" Derek replied. He threw her a quick smile before moving a strand of soaking wet hair from across her face.

Meredith placed a quick kiss over his lips before positioning her head against his cheek. She traced her hands down Derek's arms until she found his hands on her hips. She gripped onto his hands and spread them across both sides of the bed. Their fingers intertwined with each other and locked into place as Meredith began her rapid movements once more. Minutes after her first climax had ended she felt her second one surface.

As Derek continued to pump into her she bit onto his shoulder to try and keep her cries at bay.

"Ohh... Meredith..." Derek grunted as he squeezed onto her fingers with his own

"Are you...?" Meredith panted before spreading wet kisses over his sweaty collar bone

"Yeah..." Derek moaned as he closed his eyes and placed his hands on her hips

"Me too..." Meredith replied

She gripped onto his shoulders as he pulled her close into him, so he could feel her hot sweaty skin stick to his own as they intended to finish together. He felt her interior tighten around him as he began to quicken his pace even more to intensify the experience. They were seconds away from finishing together when Meredith heard a knock at their bedroom door.

"Mommy?" Abbey's little voice sounded from the other side of the door

"Crap" Meredith groaned into Derek's ear. She lost it the second she heard her daughter's voice her urging feeling for release was gone, freaking gone, everything she had been building up and working on for the last 20 minutes had disappeared.

"What?" Derek asked as he stopped his erratic movements "Did you...?" He asked breathlessly as he propped himself up onto his elbows

"No I didn't" Meredith replied as she placed her hands onto his chest and pushed herself upright on his waist before running her hands back through her hair

"What then?" Derek asked as he lifted himself up and wrapped his arms around her waist before pecking at her neck with his lips

"Mommy?" Abbey said once more, she was sitting on the floor in the middle of the corridor kicking her parent's door with her foot at interval beats

"That's what" Meredith said as she pointed over her shoulder to the door

"Crap..." Derek whispered

"... Mommy's coming sweetie" Meredith shouted as Derek rested his head into her chest. He stayed still for a moment to bring his breathing back to normal.

"You ok?" Meredith replied a few minutes later as she ran her fingers through his hair below her chin

"Yeah" Derek replied as he lifted his head and smiled at Meredith

"Good, because we are finishing this tonight" Meredith replied before lifting herself up and extracting him out of her.

"Bathroom" Derek said as he stood up from the bed and handed Meredith a clean towel from the washing pile on the dresser

"Thanks" Meredith smiled as she entered the bathroom locking the door behind her

"Mommy?" Abbey shouted more forcefully

"Hold on baby" Derek shouted as he slid on his boxers and sweat pants. He stripped off the dirty sheets from the bed and threw them into the washing basket beside the bathroom door before putting on his t-shirt and walking over to the bedroom door and unlocking it.

"Daddy, you locked it" Abbey said as she ran past Derek and jumped onto the bed

"Yeah sorry princess, mommy's taking a shower. Why are you up so early?" Derek asked as he took a seat next to Abbey on the end of the bed

"Daddy did you forget what today is?" Abbey giggled as she played with her bare toes

"Mm... Let me think?" Derek said as he lifted Abby on top his lap "Is it someone's birthday?" Derek asked as he tickled Abbey

"Yes!" Abbey giggled

"ooh, ok. Is it Dooley's birthday? " Derek teased her

"No" Abbey replied

"Ok, is it mommy's birthday?" Derek asked once more

"No" Abbey replied with a big smile

"Is it Abbey's birthday?" He laughed

"YES!" Abbey shouted before standing up on the bed and bouncing around

"Ok, ok calm down" Derek said as he stood up and grabbed her by the waist before throwing her over his shoulder "And how old are you today missy?" Derek asked as he carried Abbey to her bedroom

"Ah" Abbey squealed as he dangled over her dad shoulder "FIVE!"

"You're not five you too big to be five" Derek said as he settled Abbey down onto her bed

"Well I am" Abbey smiled

"Ok baby, stay in here for a little bit ok, I'm gonna go find mommy" Derek said as he kissed Abbey on the forehead

"Ok daddy" Abbey said before she wandered over to her doll house

"Ok then" Derek smile before leaving the room

Derek walked back into his bedroom and saw Meredith with her back facing the door. She was wearing nothing but a towel around her body. That was as short as a mini skirt. Derek closed the door behind him and walked over to Meredith before wrapping his arms around her waist

"Hello" Derek whispered into her ear

"Hi" Meredith replied as she turned in his arms

"Where's Abz?" Meredith asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist

"She's in her room" Derek replied, his eyes wandered from her gaze down to her lips and finally to her chest. He raised his hand and began to run his finger along the lining on her towel

"Derek" Meredith said once she knew what he was thinking

"What?" Derek asked with a cheeky smile before placing his lips onto her chest

"Stop it" Meredith laughed as she placed her hands in his hair

Derek brought his hands to the tie in her towel and begun to unwrap it.

"Derek" Meredith warned as she felt her towel become slacker around her body

"Mm" Derek replied as he opened her towel exposing her naked body. He lifted the towel onto her shoulders so it draped down her back "Sorry I can't help it" He smiled as he began to kiss her collar bone.

"Well I can, stop" Meredith ordered once more

"Ok, Ok" Derek smiled before kissing her quickly on the lips "I love you" He smiled

"I know" Meredith replied

"And you too" Derek said as he lowered his body and kissed Meredith's flat stomach

"You feeling ok?" Derek asked his wife as he came back up to her level

"Yeah, the morning sickness is kicking in though" Meredith laughed "What?" Meredith asked when she saw that Derek was gazing into her eyes

"I really, really love you" He replied

"Derek, I know, you don't have to keep telling me _all_ the time. I know you love me, I know you feel guilty about everything you think you have put me through and I know you want to keep saying it to remind me that you're not going away where. I know..." Meredith explained

"... I love you..." Derek laughed before he placed a kiss on her lips "... And that's just it. I do love you, more than anything in this world. You are the love of my life, my soul mate, my everything" Derek continued

"Ok, ok don't get carried away, what's with you this morning, your all emotional" Meredith laughed "Are we sure I'm the one whose pregnant here? I'm supposed to be the emotional one" Meredith laughed

"Yeah you are" Derek laughed as he kissed her once more "Ok... get dressed and I'll meet you down stairs" Derek said as he wrapped Meredith's towel around her exposed body

"Ok" She replied before pecking him on the lips and walking into the bathroom to change.

**XXXXXX**

Half an hour had passed and Meredith was still upstairs doing whatever she was doing. Derek had taken Abbey down into the kitchen to make her breakfast. He was standing at the stove cooking her pancakes while she was sitting at the table playing with Dooley her favourite teddy bear.

"Hungry sweetie?" Derek asked as he walked over to her with a plate full of freshly made pancakes

"Yes" Abbey said as he placed Dooley into the high chair. Abbey had begged Meredith to pull out her old baby high chair for Dooley to use but she refused, saying it would take up to much space in their already crowded kitchen. So in the end Abbey went behind her moms back and asked her dad because she knew he would give into her eventually. In the end he caved and searched around in the attic for her old chair, and Dooley has been using it ever since.

"Does Dooley want some pancakes?" Derek asked as he placed the plate onto the table

"Yes, one please" Abbey replied

"Ok..." Derek said as he placed a pancake in front of the teddy bear

"How many do you want?" Derek asked

"Three" Abbey replied as she picked up her fork

"Ok" Derek said as he placed the pancakes onto her plate. He set the rest of the pancakes down on the table and peered his head out of the kitchen

"Meredith?" Derek shouted up the stairs, there was no answer "Meredith" he shouted again

"I'm just going up stairs sweetie" Derek said as Abbey filled her mouth with pancakes

"Ok" She mumbled with her fork in her mouth

Derek walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs towards his bedroom. He opened the bedroom door and found his room empty

"Ok" Derek said in confusion. Suddenly he heard a coughing sound coming from his bathroom. He walked across the bedroom and peered his head around the door, only to find Meredith knelt before the toilet.

"Hey, hey, you're ok" Derek said as he rushed to her side. He knelt beside her and held her hair back as she leant over the toilet bowl. "You ok?" He asked as he ran his other hand up and down her spine

"Yeah" Meredith coughed as she reached for the toilet paper and ripped a piece off the holder.

"Are you still up for today?" Derek asked as Meredith turned to face him, she leant her back against the toilet and smiled

"Yes, it's Abbey's day, and I'm not about to ruin it for her" Meredith said as she wiped her mouth

"Ok" Derek replied kissing her on the forehead "I'll get her ready and take her to the store and you can call Cristina ok?" Derek asked as he brushed a piece of her from her face

"Ok" Meredith said with a smile as she watched him walk out of the room "You are torturing me" Meredith said to her stomach as she rubbed it gently.

**XXXXX**

As Meredith descended down the staircase she heard Derek talking on the phone. She walked past the kitchen and into the living where she found Abbey sitting on the couch with Dooley watching cartoons.

"Hi baby" Meredith as she took a seat next to her daughter.

"Hi mommy" Abbey replied as she cuddled up to Meredith

Meredith rapped her arm around Abbey's shoulder and pulled her in close to her

"What are we watching?" Meredith asked as she stroked the top of Abbey's head

"Scooby Doo" Abbey replied never taking her eyes off the TV "It's Dooley's favourite show"

"Is it really?" Meredith laughed

"Yep" Abbey replied resting her head onto Meredith chest. Meredith kissed Abbey on the head quickly before placing her hand under Abbey's chin and tilting it up to her own.

"Happy birthday" Meredith said with a smile

Abbey grinned at her mom and puckered her lips for a kiss

"Mer?" Derek said as he appeared in the doorway of the living room

"Yeah" Meredith said before kissing Abbey's puckered lips and walking over to Derek

"Ok so my mom's at the airport. I'm gonna go pick her up. I should be about an hour do you want me to take Abby?" Derek asked as he walked Meredith into the study

"Erm... Yeah, take them to lunch or something, you know so Izzie and I can sort the house out, I'll call you when everyone's arrived" Meredith said with a low tone

"Ok, I'll take her to the trailer, go fishing, you know how much Abby loves fishing with her pops" Derek said as he kissed her lightly

"Yeah that she does.... Woe" Meredith suddenly said as held her stomach

"Are you ok?" Derek asked as he placed his hand onto Meredith waist

"Yeah, I've got really bad morning sickness, it'll go away... And probably come back tonight" Meredith laughed as she sat on the arm of a chair behind her

"Ok, I'll take my cell, call me if you feel any worse ok. I don't want you over doing it" Derek smiled

"Derek I'm pregnant, not terminally ill" Meredith laughed

"I know" Derek smiled

"Ok..." Meredith mouthed to him with a small smile "...Oh and don't tell your mom I'm pregnant" Meredith said as she reached for Derek's hand as he stood before her

"Why?" Derek replied

"Because only you, Abz, Izzie and Cristina know and I don't want your mom to tell everyone at the party, you know what's she's like when she gets excited. She told all of your family I was pregnant in the first 20 minutes of me arriving at her house. Plus you can surprise everyone at the party, you can work into one of your remarkable speeches" Meredith informed him

"Ok" Derek replied before leaning down slightly kissing her on the lips

"Bye" Meredith said as she watched Derek walk into the living room

"Ok ladybug we are going to the airport" Derek said as he turned off the TV

"Hey, I was watching that" Abbey shouted

"Abbey, don't shout at me" Derek said sternly

"Sorry" Abby said sulking

"It's ok" Derek said as he stroked her face "Come on get your coat" Derek said as he walked over the to the coat rack

"Why are we going to the airport?" Abbey asked as she followed Derek into the hallway

"Ah, it's a surprise" Derek said as he reached for Abbey's coat

"For my birthday?" Abbey asked as Derek placed her tiny arms into the coat sleeves

"Yep" Derek smiled "Go say goodbye to mommy" Derek said as he pointed into Meredith who was still sitting in the study

"Bye mommy" Abbey said as she walked over to Meredith

"Bye baby, see you later have fun" Meredith said as she placed a kiss onto her daughter's forehead

"I will" Abbey giggled before running over to her dad who was waiting by the front door

"Bye" Derek said to Meredith before leaving the house.

Once Derek closed the door Meredith stood up and walked into the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of water before reaching for the phone to dial Cristina number. It rang three times before Cristina picked up.

"_Hello" Cristina answered_

"Hey, their gone you guys can come over now. Is Izzie with you?" Meredith asked before taking a sip of her water

"_Yeah, we'll be over in a few" Cristina replied "Cya you in a minute" Cristina finished before hanging up._

**XXXXXX**

Once Derek arrived at the airport he and Abby made their way into the north terminal. As he walked inside the busy entrance he walked over to the waiting area and sat down.

"Sooo, why are we here?" Abbey asked as she sat on Derek's lap

"Because grandma should be walking through those doors any moment now" Derek smiled as he pointed over to the gate doors

"Seriously?" Abbey said with a wide grin on her face

"Yep" Derek smiled "... Oh Abbey I need you to do something for me" Derek began

"What?" Abbey asked

"Are you good at keeping secrets?" Derek asked

"Yes, I keep Dooley's all the time, why do you have a secret?" Abbey asked as she looked up at her father

"Yes. I need you to keep mommy's baby a secret for me. You can't tell anyone, not grandma, not uncle Richard, or Alex. I want you to keep it to yourself for a little while, can you do that?" Derek asked

"Why?" Abbey asked

"Because mommy wants to keep it between us for now, can you do that for her" Derek asked

"Yes, I can. I would do anything for mommy" Abbey said as she held onto her teddy bear

"I know you would..." Derek replied

"... Derek!" An elderly woman's voice suddenly sounded

"Mom" Derek replied as he stood up and walked over to his mom holding onto Abbey's hand

"Grandma!" Abbey shouted as she let go of Derek hand and ran over to her grandmother

"Hello sweetie..." Carolyn said as she bend down and hugged her tiny granddaughter "I've missed you" She smiled

"I've missed you too" Abbey replied

"Derek..." Another voice sound from behind his mother

"Kathleen?" Derek said as he peered over his mothers shoulder

"Surprise!" Kathleen shouted in excitement as she opened her arms to her brother

"Yes it is, how are you?" Derek asked as he embraced his sister

"I'm great, and is this the birthday girl. Look at you." Kathleen said as she bent down to Abby who was holding on to Carolyn's hand

"Hi auntie Kathy" Abbey said with a smile as Kathleen kissed Abby on the cheek

"Guess who I brought with me?" Kathleen said as she stroked Abbey's cheek

"Who?" Abbey said getting all excited

"Thomas and Andrea" Kathleen said as she nodded her head back to the two people who were walking towards them.

Thomas and Andrea were Kathleen's only children, she was the youngest daughter and she had the least children out of the family. Andrea was the eldest of her two children, she was 17 years old and Thomas was only 6. Kathleen had problems getting pregnant a second time around and underwent fertility treatment until she finally fell pregnant.

"Abbey" Thomas shouted as he let go of his sister's hand and ran towards them across the waiting area

"Tom... Get back here" Andrea shouted as she pulled her headphones out of her ears

"It's ok Andy" Kathleen said

"Tommy" Abby said as she embraced Thomas into her arms, she got on so well with Thomas. Because there wasn't much difference in their age she always found herself playing with him more than her other cousins.

"Hey you" Andrea said as she approached the group

"Hi" Abbey said as she waved at Andrea

"Hey Uncle Derek" Andrea said as he kissed her on the cheek

"Hi, you ok?" Derek said as he threw a concerned look at Andrea

"Yeah I'm fine" Andrea replied taking a seat on a chair

"Ok everyone shall we head back to the house?" Carolyn suggested

"Yeah!" The two youngest children shouted simultaneously

"Actually I was thinking about going to my land, Abbey and I normally go fishing there once a week" Derek replied

"Ah yeah daddy please" Abbey said as she jumped up and down

"Please mom" Thomas begged his mom

"Ok" Kathleen caved "Let's go"

And so the Shepherd family made their way out of the airport and to the car before driving off into the wilderness

**XXXXX**

Cristina and Izzie arrived at the house soon after Meredith had called them. When they arrived they came with all sorts of party decorations, food, games for the children to indulge in. Izzie was outside the house with her son Liam and Alex decorating the driveway and front door in colourful decorations as a surprise for Abbey when she came home. Cristina and Meredith where in the living room setting up the food table and arranging Abbey's presents

"Abbey almost walked in on us this morning" Meredith said to Cristina as she arranged the food on the table

"What, like during...?" Cristina said as she gestured he fingers around in no direction what so ever

"Yeah, luckily Derek locked the door" Meredith replied

"Yeah" Cristina scoffed "That would off ruin her birthday, and probably her eyesight" Cristina joked

"Funny" Meredith grinned

"I think she would be the youngest person ever in the need of a shrink" Cristina joked again

"Yeah" Meredith laughed

"Looking good in here" The chief said as he walked into the living room

"Yeah" Meredith replied before raising her hand to her nose "What the hell is that?" Meredith asked with a disgusted look on her face

"What?" Chief asked

"That smell" Meredith replied as she pinched her nose together with her fingers

"It's Adele's apple pie. Is it really that bad?" The chief asked as he placed his hands on his hips

"No it smells amazing" Izzie said as she walked into the living room

"It reeks..." Meredith said as she felt a sudden wave of nausea hit her "I gotta..." Meredith said before rushing off to the toilet upstairs

"Is she ok?" Adele said walking into the living room as Meredith ran past her

"Yeah she's fine, she's just got stomach flu" Cristina covered for her

"Are you sure, because with everything that happened a few weeks ago..." The chief began

"She fine chief don't worry" Izzie reassured him "I think everything's done" Izzie said as she surveyed the room

"Yep" Cristina agreed as she took a seat on the couch

**XXXXX**

Meredith rushed up the stairs and into the family bathroom before launching her head over the toilet to empty the contents of her stomach. Once she had finished vomiting she brushed her teeth and sat down on the floor and leaned her back against the bathtub. She closed her eyes for a moment before pulling out her cell phone and dialling Derek's number

"_Hi, everything ok?" Derek said when he answered the phone_

"Yeah everything's fine. Everything's all set up and everyone's almost here so you can come home when you're ready" Meredith said as she rubbed her temple with her fingers

"_Meredith are you ok?" Derek asked "You sound tired" Derek asked compassionately_

"I'm fine Derek stop worrying" Meredith insisted

"_I can't stop worrying, you're overworking and stressing yourself out and it's not good for you or the baby. Just go and lie down until we get home ok" Derek replied_

"Ok, I'm sorry. I just wanted today to be perfect. You know to make up for all her other crappy birthdays when we were more interested in arguing and fighting than actually paying attention to our daughter" Meredith replied

"_Meredith, don't beat yourself up over it, today is going to be amazing, she's already having fun, Kathleen's here with the kids" Derek explained_

"She is?" Meredith asked

"_Yep, and so is mom, she's having a blast. So just go and relax, everything's going to be fine" Derek reassured her_

"Ok, see you in a bit..." Meredith paused "... I love you"

"_I Love you too" Derek replied_

Derek flipped down his phone and attached it to his jean pocket before diverting his vision to the crystal lake.

"Everything ok?" Kathleen said as she stood next to her brother and began to stare out into the distance

"Yeah, everything's great" Derek replied never taking his eyes off the breath taking view before him

"Was that Meredith?" Kathleen asked as she crossed her arms over her chest to warm herself

"Yeah" Derek answered

"Is she ok? You know after..."

"I don't know" Derek said as he turned to face his sister "... I mean, she's been acting a little weird. It's like when we're together she's fine, happy and then the next she's upset over something. But she just won't tell me. I mean she tells me things I just don't know if it's what's really bothering her" Derek explained

"I know you want to be there for her, she's you're wife, but you just have to let her deal, she's probingly confused, and she doesn't know which way to turn. But she will come to you when she's ready, don't worry" Kathleen expressed

"Thanks. But you don't need to use your shrinking powers on me" Derek laughed

"Oh I'm not, I just speaking as a woman, and as a Shepherd. I've had my share of heartbreak and pain, and I got through it in the end and Meredith will to, you just gotta give her time..." Kathleen said as she rubbed Derek's arm "... And in the mean time we have a surprise party to get to"

"Yeah, let's go" Derek said as he smile at his sister

**XXXXXXX**

Once everyone arrived at the house the party kicked off. Derek, Alex, Mark were in the living room trying to set up the Nintendo Wii which Carolyn got Abbey for her birthday. Bailey and her husband were sat on the couch watching in amusement as the men tried and failed to connect the Wii to the television. Abbey, Liam, Tucker Jr and Thomas were sat on the floor watching as the adults argued about which wire goes where.

"Daddy, you don't put it there" Abbey said to her father as he tried to connected the wires into the back console

"Ha-Ha, Uncle Derek move. I'll do it" Andrea said as she slid herself of the sofa and sat next to her uncle on the floor "Look this goes in here..." Andrea began as she showed Derek how to do such a simple task

"Everybody ok in here?" Kathleen said as she appeared at the living room door

"YES!" Abbey shouted with a grin "... Where's mommy?" She asked

"She's in the kitchen with Izzie and Lexie. Do you want me to go get her?" Kathleen asked

"No I'll find her later" Abbey smiled before continuing to watcher her dad explore the games console

**XXXXX**

At the exact same time Izzie, Meredith and Lexie were in the kitchen preparing Abbey's cake. Izzie stood at the island in the middle of the kitchen putting the finishing touches to the cake, while Meredith and Lexie walked around the large kitchen table picking at the food.

"Ok, the candles are in, all we need now is a lighter" Izzie said as she inspected her home made cake she had conjured up for Abbey.

"I have one here" Lexie said as she pulled out a lighter from her pocket and tossed it to Izzie

"I didn't know you smoked" Meredith said to Lexie

"Oh I don't, it's dad's he told me to pick him on up from the store on my way over" Lexie explained

"Oh" Meredith replied as she continued to pick at the food at the table

"To bad he isn't here, I'm sure he would of loved to come" Lexie hinted

"Well I'm sure he would to, but I don't want him getting drunk in front of Derek's mom" Meredith replied

"Ha-Ha true. But he's been laying off the sauce for a while now, I think he's getting back on track" Lexie admitted

"Yeah, ok" Meredith said before taking her almost full plate of food over to Izzie

"Gosh Mer how much to you need" Izzie laughed

"I'm eating for two Iz..." Meredith whispered as she looked up at Lexie to make sure she wasn't listening "... And I'm freaking hungry" She finished as she stuffed a sausage roll into her mouth

"How's the cake coming along?" Derek said as he entered the kitchen

"It's amazing" Izzie said as she admired her work

"Great job" Derek said as he looked over at the cake before kissing Meredith on the cheek

"You ok?" He whispered into her ear

"Yep, I'm fine, I have cravings like you wouldn't believe" Meredith laughed

"Yeah I can tell" Derek said as he pointed at Meredith plate "... Is everything ready in here now?"

"Yes just about" Lexie replied smiled

"Ok..." Derek smiled as he kissed Meredith on the cheek "You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah" Meredith replied rolling her eyes as she placed her hand on his cheek and kissed his lips softly

Once they had cleared the table of all the food and beverages Izzie hid the cake in the pantry while Meredith gathered all the children into the kitchen followed by the adults.

"Ok guys can you sit round the table for me" Lexie said as she ushered the children into their seats

"Abbey where are you sitting?" Meredith asked as she held onto Abbey's hand

"Here" Abbey said as she took a seat at the top of the table "Daddy don't video me" Abbey giggled when she saw Derek with the video camera

"Sorry princess, but it's happening whatever you say" Derek smiled as he hit the record button

"Fine" Abbey huffed

"Ok everybody..." Meredith said as she walked into the kitchen with a large cake in her hands. She walked towards Abbey who was grinned with delight. She placed the cake down in front of her daughter, that when everyone stared to sing happy birthday, Abbey giggled as everyone sung to her, this was the happiest moment of her life, she thought to herself.

"Ok make a wish and blow out you candles" Derek said as he continued to video record her

Abbey closed her eyes for a moment before taking in a big breath and blowing out her candles. Everybody cheered as she opened her eyes and smiled at Meredith

"What did you wish for Abbey" Andrea asked

"It's a secret" Abbey said before grinning at her dad

Derek smiled when he saw his daughter grin at him. But at the same time he wondered what she was smiling for.

"Time to cut the cake" Thomas shouted as he lent over for the knife

"I don't think so Tom"Kathleen said as he took the knife from her sons hand "... I'll cut the cake"

**XXXXX**

After all the fun of the evening everyone decided to it was time to relax and open presents. Abbey sat on the floor surrounded by wrapping paper and presents. She received a huge pile of DVD's from Cristina and Owen, clothes from Lexie and Mark, Wii and a handful of games from her grandma and a load of Barbie's from Kathleen and the kids. A gift card from the Chief and Adele, which she could use at the Teddy Factory to create her very own custom teddy bear. An easy bake oven from Izzie. As usual Izzie was trying to persuade Abbey into baking. And many, many more.

"Too bad George couldn't come tonight" Meredith said as she cuddled up to Derek on the sofa as she watched Abbey open her presents

"Yeah, but somebody's got to stay at the hospital, this party's almost emptied half the staff out of the hospital" Derek laughed as he kissed Meredith on the cheek

"That's everything" Abbey smiled "Thank you" She grinned

As everyone began to get consumed in their own conversations, Derek shouted Abbey over to him and Meredith.

"Come here sweetie" Derek called

"Yes" Abbey said as she lifted herself on the her dad's knee and rested her legs on Meredith's lap

"Do you want to tell everyone one about the baby?" Derek whispered into her ear

"Really?" Abby smiled

"Yeah, go on you can tell them" Meredith smiled

"YES!" Abbey clapped

"Ok come on then" Derek said as he lifted Abbey up onto his hip and walked over to the doorway of the living room

"Hi everyone..." Derek began "... Ok so Meredith and I just want to thank you all for coming tonight. It really meant a lot to us, we've had such a great time. And we really appreciate all the gifts, Izzie's cake. Which by the way, was amazing, I'm sure everyone can agree..."

"Yes" Everyone shouted simultaneously

"... So today is a very special day for many reasons mainly because my little girl turned five..." Derek continued

"Yep, I'm five" Abbey smiled, as she did so everyone in the room began to laugh

"... Also because we would like to announce something to you all, now two of you already know so it's not much of a surprise for you, and I only found myself out not long ago, and Abbey would like to tell you..." Derek said as he lifted shifted her up onto his hip

"Yeah, my daddy told me to keep it a secret..." Abbey began

"... That she kept very well..." Derek interrupted

"... Daddy I'm talking shush!" Abbey scolded him

Everybody let out a slight laugh at Abbey's comment

"... Mommy's got a baby in her belly..." Abbey announced "... And it's this big" Abbey said as she sized up her two index fingers the distance Derek showed her a few days earlier

"What?" Kathleen gasped "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah" Meredith smiled as she sat relaxed on the sofa "I'm almost 11 weeks"

"I wondered why you where all glowing" Carolyn said as she wrapped her arm around Meredith

"Congratulation s sweetie" Lexie said as she stood up and hugged Meredith

"Thank you guys" Meredith smiled

**XXXXX**

An hour later the party had really died down. Most of the guests had gone home. The Shepherd clan and Cristina were the only guests still present. Meredith was in the kitchen sitting at the breakfast bar supping on a cup of decaf coffee.

"You really shouldn't be drinking that" Cristina said as she walked into the kitchen

"It's decaf" Meredith replied as she placed the cup down on the counter

"Oh..." Cristina said as she took a seat next to Meredith

"Where is everyone?" Meredith asked as she stared into the coffee cup

"On the Wii, Abbey loves it" Cristina laughed as she poured herself some coffee

"Euh, I can't drink this" Meredith scoffed as she pushed the coffee across the counter

"That bad?" Cristina said as she took a sip of her drink

"Yeah, it's disgusting"

"Ha-Ha, I'm sorry I find it so funny" Cristina laughed

"What why?" Meredith frowned

"Because you were exactly the same when you were pregnant with Abz" Cristina laughed

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked as she continued to frown

"You were bitchy, you complained about everything that added with the morning sickness and the need for food all the time..." Cristina explained with a smirk

"Thanks" Meredith replied

"Oh it's ok, for me I'm not the one who has to listen to it 24/7. Derek's the one I feel sorry for"

"Why are we feeling sorry for me?" Derek said as he entered the room

"I was just saying..." Cristina began before turning around and seeing Derek carrying a sleepy Abbey in his arms "Oh, sorry"

"Yeah she's tired I think it's time we called it a night" Derek said in a low tone

"Yeah" Meredith agreed

"Oh that means you want me to leave, ok I get the message" Cristina said before finishing off her coffee and putting on her jacket

"Thanks Cris, for today" Meredith thanked her

"Yeah, see you tomorrow" Cristina said as she walked past Derek nodding him good night

"Thank god" Meredith sighed as she placed her head beside Abbey's sleeping body in Derek's arms

"You're tired go to bed I got this" Derek said as he surveyed the messy room

"I'm fine, I wish you would stop telling me I'm tired when I'm not. I would know if I'm tired or not, and I'm not, so stop telling me I am" Meredith ranted

"Ok sorry" Derek apologised

"I'll change her for bed, you can clean up this crap" Meredith said as she took Abbey from Derek's arms and walked out of the kitchen.

"Goodnight" Derek heard his mother say from the hallway "Derek..." Carolyn said as she walked into the kitchen

"Hey" Derek smiled as she began to pile the rubbish from the kitchen table into a black bin liner

"Meredith looks tired" Carolyn suddenly said as she took a seat at the table

"Yeah she is, although she doesn't want to admit it" Derek replied

"How are you guys anyway since your differences?" Carolyn asked

"Mom?" Derek said shaking his head at her

"What, I'm worried Derek, sometimes these things don't go away, they can creep back into your lives, you saw what those issue's did to Nancy and Ted, and look what happened to them" Carolyn expressed

"I know mom, but we are not Nancy and Ted, we worked it out and we are fine" Derek insisted

"I'm just looking out for you, son" Carolyn replied

"I know you are. Thanks..." Derek said as he tossed the bin liner on the floor "I'm going to bed I'll finish this in the morning. You got a place to stay?" Derek asked as he kissed his mom on the forehead

"Yes, Kathleen has booked us a suite at the Archfield, I'll lock up for you. Get off to bed" She replied as she patted him on the shoulder

"Goodnight" Derek whispered to Kathleen as she carried a sleeping Thomas towards the front door

"Cya" Kathleen whispered before walking outside

"Are you coming sweetie?" Carolyn said to Andrea who was sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV.

"No I think I'm going to hang here tonight. They have cable" She grinned as she pulled a blanket over her body for warmth

"Ok, well call us if you need anything" Carolyn said before walking out the house and locking the door behind her.

**XXXXXX**

Once Derek walked up the stairs he expected to see Meredith putting Abbey to bed. He opened Abbey's door slightly and peeked through to find Abbey asleep already. From what he could tell she'd a great day. And so did he, even though he knew something was bothering Meredith he was happy because his daughter was happy.

He closed Abbey's door and made his way down to his bedroom. He opened his door to find the room completely dark. Meredith was already in bed. He crept inside, closing the door behind him and made his way into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. Once he had completed his tasks he turned off the bathroom light and placed himself into bed.

"You awake?" Derek asked as he cuddled up to Meredith who was lying far across the other side of the bed

"Mer?" Derek asked once more when he didn't get an answer. He waited a few seconds for any sign that she was awake and when she didn't answer he wrapped his arm around her waist and placed his hand under her vest top and began to run circles around her navel

After a few minutes of feeling his touch Meredith moved her hand and placed it on top of his holding it close to her stomach.

"You're awake" Derek said into Meredith's ear as he closed his eyes to relax

"Yeah" Meredith replied as she pressed her back into Derek's chest

"I love you" Derek said before kissing her earlobe

"I know" Meredith said before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep

* * *

'**The Babble'**

_IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF SEASON 5 THEN DON'T READ THE UNDERLINED WRITING UNDERNEATH, THERES A HUGE SPOILER AND I DON'T WANT TO RUIN IT FOR YOU, AND AS FOR THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE SEEN ALL THE UPTO DATE EPIS OF SEASON 5 WELL DO READ! RAMBLING...._

_IT'S **PROPSAL WEEK**, THATS WHAT EVERYONE AT THE OFFICAL GREY'S ANATOMY MESSAGE BOARD ARE CALLING IT. IT'S AN OFFICIAL HOLIDAY! WHOSE EXCITED I AM, I LITRALLY HAD A FIT ON MY COMPUTER CHAIR TODAY BECAUSE I SAW A NEW PROMO WITH THE RING! OMFG!!_

_**READ, READ, READ BELOW!**_

_Anyways... Hoped you like this one, I did. How did you find the first part? Hot? Bet you didn't expect Abbey to knock on the door. LOL! Don't shoot me! Those things happen. Anyways Abbey had a great time at the party bless her, and everyone knows about the baby now so... YAY! Oh and Mcmama is in town, how greats that, I think she will be staying for a while, also Andrea, she going to be having a little storyline too... Little FF spoilers for you =) I know some of us love a few spoilers now and then!_

_So when I created this fic I wanted it to be about the troubles of MerDer's marriage. But it seemed to be getting a little bit better lately and I didn't like it! So there's trouble ahead, I don't know exactly what trouble it is but I have a pretty vague idea =D But don't worry this Fic **will**_...(I bold, italic and underline the word WILL)... _End on a happy note! So don't abandon me yet! And this fic had a long way to go yet so YAY!_

_I went hunting for song titles on iTunes today and found loads, they are for the name of each upcoming chapter and I've put ideas together for chapters that will go with each title if you get me. I love using song titles for the names of chapters because their interesting and because Grey's does it soo... Yeah back to the point. There's about 7 or 8 chapters I have come up with so far but there will be more, I just got tired and decided to go to bed because it's really late LOL! And I also intend to write this fic of the course of the Grey's hiatus because I know how much we fans suffer from withdrawal symptoms over the summer and we wanna kill ourselves because Grey's or anything else isn't on! So this fic won't be finishing anytime soon. So you will have to wait a while for the sequel. Sorry!_

_So stay tuned coz it's going to be bumpy ride. Don't forget that's why you guys started to read this thing. Jeez just over 9,000 words for this chapter, only because i've started the talk to you huys and now i can't stop becuase i get carried away... doing it again STOP WOMAN! lol_

_Oh btw sorry I haven't updated 'What I Am' it will be up hopefully this weekend, it just that work has been hectic they have had me travelling alot and when I have had time to update I've updated this fic. But I've started to write the next chapter for WIA so don't worry i haven't abandoned it!_

**_See now this is why it's called a Babble, I know it annoying, and I don't think anyone else on FF rambles this much! Jeez LOL!_**

_The next chapter's called '_Love Will Tear Us Apart'_ what do you make of it? Any guesses? HEHE_

_**REVIEW!**_

_**REVIEW!**_

_**REVIEW!**_

_**REVIEW!**_


	19. Love Will Tear Us Apart

The next morning Derek was woken by a knock at the front door. The room was dark, cold. Very unfriendly. He turned his body around the look at the clock which read 6:30am. He had the day off and planned to stay in bed for as long as he could until Abbey woke him up. The door knocked again.

"Mer?" Derek said as he turned the side lamp on and turned to her side of the bed

She wasn't in bed. _'Great!'_ he thought to himself. The door knocked once more. He pulled himself out of bed and strolled out of his room and down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom of the staircase he saw a figure open the door.

"Andrea is that you?" Derek said as he rubbed his eyes

"Yeah, sorry, it's grandma" Andrea said as she turned the key in the door

"Gosh, isn't it a wonderful day, and it's as dark as a dungeon in here. Derek open some curtains" Carolyn said as she walked into the hallway

"Yeah ma. What are you doing here so early?" Derek asked as he turned on the hall light

"Well I thought I could take my grandchildren out shopping. But seeing as half of them are here..." Carolyn began

"Abbey's in bed" Derek said before walking into the kitchen and turning on the light

"Yes I can see that" Carolyn said as she followed Derek into the kitchen

"Grandma, do you want some coffee" Andrea said as she walked over to the coffee machine

"Yes please sweetie" Carolyn said as she took a seat next to Derek at the kitchen table

"Ohh, I have a headache" Derek moan as he rubbed his temple with his fingers

"You have a busy day ahead of you look at this mess" Carolyn said as she pointed to all the rubbish from the party the night before

"Yeah" Derek sighed

"So I'll take Abbey, Andrea and Tommy to the mall, which is near the hospital right?" Carolyn asked as Andrea gave her a cup of coffee "Thank you dear..."

"Yes it is" Derek replied nodding at Andrea as she handed him his own cup

"So I'll take the kids out shopping and Kathleen can help you tidy up. I think it's about time you spent some time with your sister Derek" Carolyn said as she take a sip of her coffee

"Ok" Derek agreed with a tired tone

"Andrea will you go wake Abbey for me we need to get her ready" Carolyn instructed her

"Yeah" Andrea replied before standing up and walking out of the room

"Did she stay here last night?" Derek asked his mother as he held onto his coffee for dear life

"Yeah, she said you guys have cable so... Anyway..." Carolyn began as she placed her cup on the table "... Did you two talk last night?" She asked prudently

"Nope" Derek popped

"And why not?" Carolyn asked

"Because... I don't know why. She was tired and I didn't want to bother her" Derek confessed

"Where is she now?" Carolyn asked

"Erm... At the hospital I'm assuming, she's not here" Derek replied

"Right ok" Carolyn nodded with a smiled

"Mom, NO...!" Derek gasped

"What?" She replied innocently

"You are not going to the hospital to try to talk to her. She doesn't need you stabbing her in the back with you persuasion powers" Derek warned her

"My what?" Carolyn laughed

"I don't want you going down there to try and force her to tell you wants wrong, she has enough on her plate at the moment" Derek informed her before taking a sip of his coffee

"Uncle Derek!" Andrea shouted from Abbeys room

"Yes?" Derek yelled back

"A little help up here" Andrea shouted back

"Ok fine I won't" Carolyn said as Derek stood up from his chair

"Thanks" Derek replied as he kissed his mom and forehead before walking out of the kitchen

**XXXXXX**

Meredith had an early surgery. She walked through the doors of Seattle Grace at 5:30am to prep her patient.

Once the surgery had carried out without failure, Meredith made her way to the attending lounge and relaxed on the sofa. She lay her head down and closed her eyes for a moment, only to be interrupted by two voices as they walked into the room, she lifted herself up and began to tie her hair into a ponytail.

"... That's all I'm saying George, oh Mer..." Cristina said as she spotted Meredith on the sofa

"You ok? You look a little green" George said as he took a seat next to her

"Nausea" Meredith grumbled as she reached for her bottle of water that sat on the coffee table in front of her.

"How's Abz?" Cristina asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee

"Asleep when I left her" Meredith replied

"Oh, why are you here so early didn't the chief give you the morning off" George asked confused

"Yeah, but there was a surgery so..." Meredith began

"Mer you need sleep, you're over doing it. Go home and relax" Cristina insisted

"Yeah Mer go home, I'm sure shadow Shepherd has everything covered" George agreed

"Ner I'll just go to an on call room, besides Derek's mom's probably at the house, and she's to cheery and talkative for me right now. Plus she'll want to talk about the baby nonstop and I'm just not in the mood" Meredith replied as she stood up.

"Ok see you later" Cristina said as she watched Meredith walk out of the room

**XXXXXX**

The time was around 1pm and Derek was home with Kathleen. They were sitting in the living room watching TV.

"So, are you excited about the baby?" Kathleen said as she swatted her brother's arm

"Yeah, I am. It's.... amazing" Derek smiled. Whenever anyone mentioned the baby he couldn't help but smile. The thought of having another child from Meredith was unbelievable.

"How excited is she?" Kathleen smiled

"She's excited. She hasn't really shown it much but she is" Derek explained

"She will be. When she holds the baby in her arms for the first time, she will be over the moon" Kathleen replied

"Yeah, I hope so" Derek sighed

"What's that?" Kathleen said as she waved her finger up and down to Derek

"What?" Derek asked

"That sigh, I heard don't deny it!" Kathleen joked

"Nothing" Derek replied

"You people really don't like talking about your feelings do you?" Kathleen smiled as she took a sip of water from the coffee table in front of her

"You people?" Derek laughed

"Yeah, you Seattle folk. You guys keep everything all bottled up inside. It's unhealthy you know." Kathleen said as she relaxed herself back into the sofa

"We do not" Derek disagreed, he took a quick glance at his sister who was frowning at him

"Ok... We do!" Derek laughed as he stole the remote from his sister "... And I'm not watching MTV" Derek laughed as he began channel hopping.

**XXXXX**

Meredith just finished a craniotomy on a kid. It was a simple procedure, one she had done hundreds of times 97 percent of the patients pull through. But unfortunately for this one she was not so lucky. She died on the table from complications. Breaking the news the patient's family was the hardest part, besides actually witnessing the patient dying of course. To Meredith she felt like the angle of death. She was the one who informed the family that their son, daughter, mother, father or friend had died. She was the angle of death.

The second her watch struck 4:30pm she headed towards the cafeteria. She was hungry. She hadn't eaten all day. Which she knew was stupid of her but she had back to back surgeries. Once she collected her food she walked over to an empty table and began to tuck into her food. Moments later she was joined by Cristina and Izzie

"Meredith. Earth to Meredith" Izzie said as she waved her hand in front of Meredith's face

"What? Sorry" Meredith replied as she snapped out of her trance

"You ok?" Cristina asked

"Yeah I'm fine..." Meredith before standing up "... I'm just gonna go do this thing..." She said before walking out of the cafeteria

Meredith walked down the hall and pulled out her cell phone, she leaned herself up against a wall as she searched her phone book for Derek's number. Once she found it she was an inch away from pressing the call button when she heard a familiar voice she her.

"Mommy!" Abbey shouted as she let go of Carolyn's hand and ran down the hall

"Hi baby" Meredith replied as she locked her phone and place it back in her pocket

"We went shopping and I got you something" Abbey said with a smile

"Oh really?" Meredith said as Meredith dropped herself to her daughters high and ran her fingers through her soft hair

"... But you can't have it yet. It's a surprise" Abbey replied

"Ok" Meredith smiled before kissing her on the forehead

As Meredith lifted herself up she noticed a familiar figure standing a few meters away at the nurse's station. _"Crap!" _She thought as she threw a smile at her mother in law

"Hi" Meredith smiled as she walked towards her and Andrea

"Hello dear" Carolyn replied "Andrea can you take Abbey, I need to have a conversation with Meredith here" Carolyn said as she placed her hand on Meredith back before leading her to a conference room.

"Yeah sure" Andrea said as she took Abbey's hand and led her over to a free set of chairs in the waiting area

"So..." Carolyn said as she gestured Meredith to take a seat at the large table

"So..." Meredith replied as she pulled out a chair and sat down

"Derek tells me you two have been having problems" Carolyn said getting right to the point

"Excuse me?" Meredith laughed in a shock tone

"I'm sorry I don't mean to pry, it's just... I know how these things go" Carolyn began as she tied her fingers together on top of the table

"What things?" Meredith asked confused

"I had my share of differences with Derek's father. Everyone does, but it's not the end, you can't just..." Carolyn continued

"... Wait, wait" Meredith said holding up her hand "What are you suggesting. That I want to leave him?"

"No, but I'm just worried that if you let these issue grow and get out of hand you might lose him" Carolyn replied

"Ha-Ha..." Meredith laughed. She could not believe what she was hearing "... I'm sorry, but how dare you walk in here and accuse me of wanting out of _my _marriage, I love Derek, and yes we didhave problems but we talked about it and figured it out. We are happy, we're having a baby, and we have Abbey. Everything's how it suppose to be. _We are happy_" Meredith said expressing the last few words of her speech

"Are you?" Carolyn asked as she stared Meredith down

"Yes we are" Meredith replied

"I mean are you?" Carolyn asked her once more

"Yes I'm happy. Derek's the most important thing to me, besides my kids. I love him" Meredith said as she began to raise her voice slightly

"Ok, I apologise. But you can expect me to be like this, I'm his mother, and all I want for him is to be happy, and..." Carolyn hesitated

"You don't think he is with me?" Meredith said with rage rising in her voice

"No, I do, I just don't want him to get hurt" Carolyn replied

"This is ridiculous..." Meredith said standing up

"Meredith..." Carolyn said as she reached for Meredith's hand "... I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you, I just looking out for my son, and I know you have been under a lot of stress, what with the accident and illness and everything." Carolyn said as she pulled Meredith back down to the chair via her hand

"Derek, Abbey and this baby..." Meredith began as she placed her hand onto her stomach "... are the most important things in the world to me. I love them. And I can't imagine my life without him. We've been through alot over the past few years and I've been married long enough now to realise what a rough patch in a marriage looks like. I didn't walk into this thing blind sighted. And I told you on the wedding day that I'm here to stay. Derek's the love of my life and I'm so happy that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. And no matter what you say or do. I _will _always be here beside him. And don't you dare talk to me about my son" Meredith finished. She was confident with her little speech with inadvertently turned into one of her many rants that she was capable of.

"I'm sorry, I want you to know that I am here if you need anything" Carolyn said with a sympathetic smile

"Ok" Meredith frowned

"Do you want me to take Abz home?" Carolyn asked as she stood up from her seat

"Yeah, I'm off a 6 so I should be home before half past" Meredith said

"Ok" Carolyn said as she rubbed Meredith arm before walking out of the room

'_What the hell just happened?'_ Meredith thought. Her first intentions were to call Derek. But why bother him with something this petty. Well actually it wasn't petty. His mother called Meredith a quitter. She actually said it, sort of. But how dare she walk in here on her frickin high horse and imply something like that. _'The bitch'_ Meredith thought. _'Ok screw this' _Meredith thought as she pulled out her cell phone and dialled home. Five rings later, someone picked up, a woman's voice.

"Hi is Derek there?" Meredith asked as she walked over to the sofa and sat down

"_Yes sure, how are you Mer, I haven't seen you today" Kathleen asked as she walked towards the kitchen to Derek_

"I'm fine, I... You... I really need Derek" Meredith asked impatiently

"_Sure" Kathleen said as she handed the phone to Derek_

"_Hello?" Derek said as he received the phone from his sister_

"Hi. You will never guess who I just got a visit from?" Meredith shot at him with a slight laugh at the end

"_My mother?" Derek answered in one guess_

"You knew she was coming out here today?" Meredith replied

"_Yeah I did, she told me this morning, but I told her to give you some space. Cleary she thought ignoring me was the best option" Derek joked towards the end_

"Derek...!" Meredith scolded him "... Why didn't you tell me?" Meredith asked

"_Well because you left for work early. And I just figured you would ignore my calls so I didn't bother. Why's it such a big deal anyway?" Derek asked_

"She accusing me of wanting to leave you that's the big deal Derek" Meredith said raising her voice

"_Meredith calm down..." Derek said as he walked out of the kitchen into the living room to get some privacy "You know she meant well" Derek tried to convince her_

"Derek... It just pissed me off, and then she had the nerve to bring up Chris. And then I just flipped, and why do you think it's suddenly ok to talk about our private life with your mother" Meredith sighed

"_She's my mother I tell her everything" Derek replied_

"Yeah, things about work or Abbey or even if we get a new house or car or something. But not about our private life Derek. Why don't you just buy a giant billboard and stick a huge poster on there with the day to day news of the Shepherds or get a segment on _E!_" Meredith snapped

"_Meredith you are angry and pissed off I understand that. But don't take this out on me! I didn't do anything. Stop acting like a child" Derek shot at her_

"I'm acting like a child...? Well how's this for acting like a child!" Meredith said before hanging up the phone.

Meredith was pissed off and emotional and she just felt like dying in a pit of self-misery.

"How was that?" Kathleen asked as she walked into the living room

"Not good, she's on a rampage. I'm actually scared for her patients now" Derek teased

"Dear lord" Kathleen laughed

"It's not funny, we can't laugh" Derek replied as he took a seat on the couch

"What happened?" Kathleen asked as she took a seat next to him

"Mom!" Derek replied after taking in a deep breathe

"Say no more. Do you want us to take Abbey tonight? So you can talk?" Kathleen asked as she rubbed her brother's arm

"Yeah could you that would be great" Derek smiled

"Ok, I'd better go I'll call mom and tell her to go to the hotel..." Kathleen said as she grabbed her coat "See you" She said as he kissed him on the cheek and walked out the door.

**XXXXX**

Hours later Derek had almost finished cleaning the house he had just finished vacuuming the floor when he heard a key turn in the door. For such a private party and with only a dozen kids in attendance the place with a dump. But after hours of hard work it all paid off. The house was spotless. He placed the vacuum into the closet and turned to watch Meredith as she took off her coat.

"Hi" Derek greeted her as she placed her coat onto the coat rack by the front door

Meredith said nothing she gave had a cold hard stare before walking past him into the kitchen.

"Meredith?" Derek called as he followed her "Oh so you're ignoring me now?" He continued as he sat down on a high stool near the island in the middle of the kitchen. He sat there for a moment while Meredith poured herself a glass of water from the kitchen

Meredith exhaled loudly, as she gathered her thoughts together. She finally turned and stared into his dreamy eyes. She leaned her back against the kitchen sink before opening her mouth to speak.

"Derek... I..." Meredith began as she felt a tear slowly roll down her cheek

"Hey... I know..." Derek replied as she hopped of his stool and walked over to Meredith before taking her into his secure embrace. "... It's ok, I know" Derek said as he held her close to him.

"I'm sorry..." Meredith began as she pulled away slowly looking into Derek's deep grey eyes "... I didn't mean to snap at you, it's just, I'm severely emotionally charged, my boobs are huge and sore, and I just wanna cry" Meredith explained

"You're rambling" Derek laughed

"Yeah well I'm pregnant I have the right to ramble, so shut up" Meredith replied as she hit him across the chest, with a slight giggle

"Come here" Derek said as he pulled her head back into his chest "Everything's gonna be ok, we'll be fine" Derek continued before kissing her lightly on her head "... I love you"

"I love you to" Meredith replied as she relaxed into his warm body and breathed in his sent.

'_**The Babble'**_

_Sorry this took soo long work has been kicking my ass... anyways this chapter is finally here... Hope you like it_

_Their problems are not that bad right now, they do have them but derek's trying to deny having them... of you get me... and Meredith just plain hormonal!! LOL!_

_And what can I say MerDer are finally freaking engaged... I cried my eyes out when I watched the last episode (no joke) I can't believe we have to wait a month for the next episode... =O so if I don't I date by then I would of died with withdrawal symptoms... just joking... I didn't have time to re-read it so if there's anything that does not make sense or spelt wrong let me know in the review and I will change it =)_

_I know I promised you What I Am but I had to take my laptop into be repaired and it got wiped clean ____ so I had to re-write the chapter but it's coming along don't worry, it's a little late now so I'm going to continued with it tomorrow.. I have the day off work thank god! _

_Anyways the next chapter is called 'A storm is going to come' any ideas? Here's a hint... Someone from someone's past is heading out to Seattle!! That's all I'm telling you!! Work that one out! LOL!_

_REVIEW!!!!_


	20. A Storm Is Going To Come

Derek lay in bed wide awake watching his wife sleep. The past few days had been full of mood swings and a few tears had been shed. But that was Meredith. Derek knew he was in for a bumpy ride the second he found out she was pregnant. He could think back to when she was pregnant with Abbey and Christopher. She was not exactly the most popular person to hang out with. Pregnancy made her hormones boil over like crazy. So he knew what to expect. She was almost at the three month mark now, and a teeny, tiny curve began to protrude from her stomach.

Derek lay propped up on his left elbow as his bare chest pressed against her back, and his fingers circled the fabric of her lilac vest top which was pulled over her tiny baby bump. No matter what had happened between them during the day, whether it be an argument or tears being shed Derek always seemed to comfort Meredith as she slept. To him she was the most important thing besides Abbey in his life. He knew he was a little distant, and he tried to make it up to her as much as possible ever since their major blow out a few months back. And soothing her she as she slept was high up on his list of many ways to apologise.

The room was dark, and he could just about make out the outline of her body in the darkness. The curtains were pulled completely closes which was the reason it was so dark in the first place.

"Mhm" Meredith moaned gently as she twitched under his embrace

Derek giggled slightly at the sight of his wife's movement. Clearly she was dreaming. It wouldn't be the first time Derek had caught her talking in her sleep. He leaned down and kissed Meredith's neck with his soft lips. Before she had the time to react the loud sound of a pager filled the room.

"Mmm" Meredith moaned as she felt Derek reach over her and turn on the lamp before picking up her pager and turning it off "Who is it?" Meredith asked as she turned onto her back

"The chief" Derek said as he placed her pager back onto the side table before returning to his position beside Meredith

"Is it a 911?" Meredith asked as she held her arm over her eyes to protect them from the intense light above her

"No" Derek replied as he stared at her

"What time is it?" Meredith asked as she turned to him while squinting her eyes

"Almost 6:15. Don't you have to be in work soon?" Derek asked before kissing her on the cheek as she lay motionless beside him

"Yeah, but I'm too lazy to move" Meredith complained as she placed her arm over her eyes once more

"Don't you have a meeting with the chief?" Derek reminded her

"Crap..." Meredith replied quickly sat up "... I do..." She agreed as she looked at him "... I gotta go." Meredith raced out of bed and began scrambling for her clothes that lay all over the bedroom floor "Can you take Abbey to daycare for me?" She asked as she picked up a t-shirt on the floor from the bottom of the bed

"Ha-ha..." Derek laughed as he watched her bob up and down for her clothes "Yeah" Derek smiled as he sat up in bed

"Thanks" Meredith smiled as she rushed towards the bathroom

"Mer?" Derek asked as she began to close the door

"Yeah babe?" Meredith replied as she opened the bathroom door

"We're ok right?" Derek asked with a concerned tone

"Sure, why would you say that?" Meredith said as she stood impatiently at the bathroom door

"Well, because of my mom and what she said you haven't talked about it" Derek replied as he pushed away the covers and sat on the edge of the bed

"Derek you know I love your mom, I do. But she crossed the line that day, and you don't even see what she did wrong. You don't stand up to her. When it comes to your family you don't know when to say no" Meredith replied

"I know, but I just..." Derek began

"Look I don't want to be late for the chief so... we'll talk later, ok?" Meredith said

"Sure" Derek replied before Meredith closed the door to get ready.

**XXXXX**

As soon as Meredith had arrived at the hospital she made her way up to the chief office. She trekked up the three flights of stair and walked across the bridge until she finally reached his office. She knocked on his door and waited for an answer.

"Come in" The chief shouted

"Hi sir" Meredith said as she walked into his office closing the door behind her

"Meredith, take a seat" Richard replied as he stood up and motioned her to a seat in front of his desk "I've called you in here today because I need a favour" Richard began

"Sir?" Meredith smiled

"We have a new attending joining us tomorrow, he's around the same age and year as you. I need you to help him settle in. You know, to get comfy... I need..." Richard began as she leaned forward and placed his hands on his desk "... I need a new head of neuro" Richard said with a low tone

"What? We have a head of neuro. Derek's the head of neuro" Meredith said as her eyes shot open

"I know... Meredith I'm telling you this in confidence. And what I tell you in the next five minutes does not leave this room ok?" Richard asked her

"Sure" Meredith nodding looking a little worried

"I'm retiring, for certain this time. I think it's time, I've been cooped up in this office for too long and it's time it belonged to someone else. And... Well, my point is that... I'm going to recommend to the board that they name Derek as the next chief of surgery. So I need a head of neuro. Of course you will be in the running for head if you choose to be. That's up to you. But Dr White is joining the team tomorrow, and he will also be in the running for head" Richard finished with a slight smile

"Ok" Meredith smiled back at him

"Ok, thanks Meredith" the chief replied "He will be here tomorrow at 6am sharp"

"Thanks" Meredith said with a slight smile before standing up and leaving the room.

Meredith began to walk across the bridge only to stop and half way and begin to stare out to the open view in front of her. The sun was rising in the distance and air looked cold. She and Derek would always come and watch the sun rise and fall during their shifts. These moments in the mornings and evenings meant so much to Meredith even though Derek may not have realised. To her in that moment all their problems seemed to disappear. Derek would just hold her as they both gazed out over the trees and watch the sun fall into the sky.

Derek was rounding on some of his neuro patients when he got a page from the chief. He could easily take the elevator to Richard's office but instead decided to climb the stairs. He felt rather active today, maybe it was all the coffee he'd drank before his previous surgery.

Once he reached the top of the stairs he began to walk down the short corridor until he reached the double doors at the end. As he extended his arm for the door handle he took a quick glance through the small rectangular window in the door and spotted Meredith leaning against the railings staring out into the distance. She looked so beautiful, as the radiance from the orange sky reflected onto her glowing face, with her blonde highlighted hair flowing over her shoulders. She was wearing her new set of indigo scrubs which hugged her body in all the right places. To look at her you wouldn't think she was pregnant. She was so slender. Almost like a fragile manikin, perfect in all the right places.

He contemplated about approaching her, but she looked focused, something was on her mind. He watched her for a moment longer as a smile began to emerge on his lips. No matter what happened between them, no matter who pissed who off, Meredith would always possess the largest part of his heart. He had never felt this way about anyone but her. The love he had for this woman was so deep, so intense, he would die for her. Every time she entered the room his heart would skip a beat, even after all the years of marriage, and she being the only woman he has '_been_' with, in a long time was enough to complete him. Meredith was his soulmate and nothing would ever take that away from him.

He smiled slightly and nodded as he took in one last image of her incredible structure before turning around and heading towards the stairs to re-route to Richard's office. She needed space, and he thought it was the least she deserved.

**XXXXX**

Meredith's last surgery had come and gone. She walked into the cafeteria to find it almost empty. She walked over to the vending machine and extracted a bottle of water before heading over to Izzie's table.

"Where is everyone?" Meredith asked as she took a seat across from Izzie

"Oh, there's some new hot shot doctor in the OR1 with Shepherd and everyone's observing their surgery..." Izzie replied as she thumbed through a chart "... Everyone else gets to watch, but I don't have the time because I have to re write Dr Coopers charts because his hand writings illegible, I hate second year residents. We were never this bad" Izzie complained as she continued up to browse through her patients chart.

"What? The new attending's here already? He's not supposed to be here until tomorrow" Meredith frowned as she unscrewed her bottle.

"Yeah well he got here early and decided to take over the freaking OR" Izzie moaned "Wait... How do you know when he meant to arrive?" Izzie asked as she dropped her pen while trying to read Meredith face.

"What... Oh the chief wants me to be his tour guide for the day" Meredith replied with a less than enthusiastic expression.

"Ooh... expedition duty, sucks for you" Izzie laughed as she resumed writing in her chart

"Funny... Have you met him?" Meredith asked before taking a sip of water

"No, but I saw him in the hall talking to Derek earlier, he's hot. No ring, maybe he's single, oh, that would make Alex so jealous..." Izzie giggled "...Ok Meredith, new plan... Alex is going to babysit Liam tonight and I'm going to get White like totally impaired and rip his clothes off" Izzie laughed

"Operation McHotshot? That sounds like a plan to me" Meredith replied as she held up her water bottle

"Word!" Izzie replied as she lifted up her energy drink and clinked it against Meredith bottle

"Operation McHotshot is in full force" Izzie grinned before taking a sip of her drink

"You're an idiot" Meredith giggled as she placed her bottle down onto the table.

**XXXXX**

Meredith stood in the hallway looking through the glass window of the nursery. All the tiny bodies squirmed before her. For the first few weeks of her knowing she was pregnant again was a worry. She didn't want to get too attached to the pregnancy in case something happened again. Anything could happen, but the more and more she saw the babies and watched as they cooed and cried she couldn't feel anything but happy. Maybe this baby was a blessing. A sign from whoever, that she and Derek would work out. Or maybe this baby was to keep them together. Whatever the sign was Meredith just felt herself growing more and more in love with the tiny life she was carrying inside her. This baby was a gift in her eye's it was keeping her marriage together. She couldn't even begin to imagine what life would be like right now if she wasn't pregnant. She and Derek could be heading down the road to separation or worse divorce. But that was the one thing in the world that Meredith didn't want. She loved Derek so much, and she knew there was a friction between them but they both just denied it and let the time pass it by. This to her was the only way of living with it for now. She knew in the back of her mind that partly of what Carolyn was said was true, if she let these issues grow and get out of hand she could lose him. And that was the last thing she wanted.

"Dr Shepherd?" A voice sounded from behind her

"Yeah?" Meredith said as she snapped out of her gaze and turned to face the young intern standing before her

"Mr Mercers CT results" The intern said as he handed her the scans

"Crap, book an OR, and get him prepped right now. That thing's looks like it gonna blow minute" Meredith said as she rushed down the hall to her patients room.

**XXXXX**

Once their surgery was over Derek and the new 'McHotshot' Dr White entered the scrub room to wash up.

"Thanks for the help in there" Derek said as he scrubbed his fingers intensely with soap

"You're welcome. Sorry I just stepped in on your surgery I just wanted to work beside the legionary Dr Shepherd" Dr White replied as he rinsed his hands

"Thanks, man. Do you wanna get a drink at Joes tonight? You know a welcome to Seattle drink" Derek asked as he extended his arm out for a towel.

"Joes?" Dr White asked

"Oh yeah, it's this bar across the street. It's the life line of every employee in this place. Without Joe's I don't think anyone would make it through the week" Derek laughed as he threw the towel into the bin

"So it's a good place to drink I take it?" Dr White laughed

"Yeah, it won't take you long to mix in with everyone, and you'll probably been chatting up some one at the bar within half an hour." Derek replied as he leaned back onto the scrub sink

"Oh yeah? Something you do I take it?" Dr White laughed as he threw his towel into the bin beside him

"Used to but not anymore, I had my time" Derek replied

"Oh really, what happened?" Dr White asked with a laugh as he folded his arms over his chest

"I met the love of my life...Derek smiled as he pictured Meredith sitting at the bar in that beautiful black dress "... At that very bar in fact" Derek began as he pulled out his wedding ring from his chest pocket and flashed it to Dr White

"... And life's been perfect ever since?" Dr White interrupted

"It's a pretty long rollercoaster, but yeah, I love every minute of it, well except for when I'm stationed on the couch" Derek smiled as he slipped his ring onto his wedding finger. He loved reminiscing the night of his and Meredith's first meeting. Even if it was the short, less porny version. And to a stranger.

"Well in that case I guess I have to go. You never know who I might meet" Dr White replied

Derek began to laugh before his pager began sound "Speck of the devil. It's my wife" Derek said as he looked at the pager number "She needs me in OR 2. Can you do me a favour and follow the patient through post op for me?" Derek asked as he opened the scrub room door

"Sure, see you later?" Dr White replied as he walked past Derek out of the door

"Yeah sure. Thanks again" Derek smiled as he patted Dr White on the shoulder as he walked behind him out of the room.

**XXXXX**

Half an hour later Meredith and Derek emerged for OR 2. There had been a critical complication with Meredith's patient and she needed the expert help of non other than Dr Derek Shepherd.

As Derek began to scrub out he watched his wife as she stood over her patient checking his staples. She asked someone to wrap him for her before walking over to the door stripping herself off of her surgery gown and gloves. She extended her hand for the button on the wall to open the door. The door made a load swoshing sound and Meredith entered the scrub room placing herself beside her husband.

"Thanks for rushing in here so quick" Meredith said as she turned the tap on

"It's ok" Derek said as he dried his hands with a towel

"So you operated with McHotshot then?" Meredith said as she peered at Derek from the corner of her eye.

"Yes" Derek said with a giggle

Meredith began to laugh when she saw the grin on Derek's face as she continued to watch him from the corner of her eye.

"So McHotshot?" Derek asked with a smile

"Yeah, sorry it's his Mcname, Izzie made it up" Meredith lied. She didn't want to upset Derek by admitting she had labelled him with a Mcname. After all she did label McSteamy, McVet, McArmydoc, plus the most recent Mcname floating around Seattle Grace was McHardass, which Derek didn't know she conjured up. He was the cocky intern, who of which she despised greatly, but he still had a hot ass though, and Cristina also agreed.

"Ok" Derek smiled

"So how was the surgery with McHot...? Erm, Dr White" Meredith hesitated when she saw Derek glaring at her.

"It was great" Derek replied with a smile

"Good" Meredith replied as she reached over the sink for a clean towel

"Yeah, we're going out for a drink tonight" Derek told her

"Ok, well I was going to Joe's with Izzie so I'll meet you there? I can meet my new client" Meredith smiled

"The chief's got you doing expedition duty again?" Derek said as he leaned back against the sink

"Yep" Meredith smiled

"Who's got Abbey?" Derek asked

"Oh she sleeping at Emma's tonight" Meredith replied as she threw her towel into the bin

"Emma Oravic? The little girl who poured paint down Abbey's clothes?" Derek asked as he crossed his arms over his chest

"Yes..." Meredith said with a guilty tone "... Oh come on Derek they had a momentary fallout and it was over a year ago. And Abbey said it was because she wouldn't give Dooley to Emma. So little Emma got pissed and threw paint at her" Meredith explained "It's gonna be fine, besides her mother will be there, and she's dropping her off at the hospital daycare tomorrow morning so it's fine" Meredith said as she rubbed her hand up and down Derek arm

In that moment, when Meredith's hand made contact with his skin the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Her touch was so vast it made him shudder.

"What does Emma's mom do again?" Derek asked as he watched Meredith's hand leave his arm and rest back down to her side

"She's an Attending in the cancer wing. She's the one who was assigned to Izzie. You know when she had..." Meredith began before cutting herself off

"Yeah" Derek said with a smile. He knew exactly what Meredith was talking about. When Izzie had skin cancer it was one of scariest times in Meredith's life. One of her closest friends almost died from a horrible disease.

"Yeah, Izzie still has checkups with her every three months, you know to make sure it's hasn't returned" Meredith said with a sorrowed look

Derek knew it was painful for Meredith to talk about Izzie's stressful ordeal, but everything turned out right in the end. Once she got the all clear, she and Alex decided to put some of those frozen fertilized eggs to some good use, and beautiful little Liam came out of it. Izzie had told Meredith that every time she looked at Liam she was reminded of her fight for life, her fight for a future with Alex and a child. Even though Izzie and Alex where no longer together Liam was a little miracle that came from it all, and she was grateful that she got the chance pull through. And she thanked Meredith every now and then for sticking by her throughout it all.

"Ok I'll meet you at Joe's tonight?" Meredith said as she stared into Derek's eyes

Derek could see the pain beginning to rise in her eyes. Just bring up those kind of terrible memorys made Meredith heart ache.

"It's ok" Derek said as he gave Meredith a warm smile

"Thanks, I better go check on my patient" Meredith replied as she gestured towards the door with her tiny thumb

"Ok see you later" Derek smiled

"Ok" Meredith replied before turning and walking out of the scrub room.

**XXXXX**

Once the end of her shift approached Meredith just felt like going home and relaxing into a hot bath. But she had promised Izzie that she would meet her at Joe's. Ever since Izzie found out that Derek was taking Dr White to Joe's 'Operation McHotshot' was in full swing once more. Izzie was determined to meet this new Doctor. Once Meredith had changed into her street clothes she greeted Izzie and Cristina in the lobby and they made their way over to Joe's.

Once they had arrived Meredith and Izzie grabbed a table in the far corner of the room. The table with the best view of every inch of the bar of course. And the second Izzie sat down she pulled out her makeup bag and began to empty the contents onto the table.

"What are you doing?" Meredith laughed as she watched Izzie rummage through her makeup

"Meredith, tonight is the night I strip of McHotshot and... Well yeah" Izzie said as she began to apply her eye shadow.

"What's she doing?" Cristina said as she approached the table with the drinks

"She making herself all pretty for Dr White" Meredith smiled as she took her drink from Cristina

"No Meredith not _pretty_, hot! Tonight I'm one hot momma" Izzie replied as she continued to apply her make up in her little mirror.

"If you think you are going to be able to bed that... What is it you Mcnamed this one?" Cristina began as she played with the straw in her drink

"McHotshot!" Meredith mumbled as she took a sip of her water

"Dude it's been a really long time for you hasn't it?" Cristina pointed out

"Shut up" Izzie scowled at her "... Am I ok?" Izzie asked as she looked at Meredith and smiled

"Perfect, oh except you got a little something... Right... There" Meredith said as she reached over and pulled a piece of lint form Izzie's hair

"Ok, I'm going to the bathroom" Izzie said as she stood up and walked over to the bathroom at the far end of the room

"This is ridiculous" Cristina stated as she took a sip of her drink

"Oh Cristina, Izzie needs this. It's been a while since she's been on a date. Just leave her be" Meredith replied

"This is not a date Meredith" Cristina pointed out once more "This is probably going to turn into that Knocked Up movie" Cristina laughed

"Cris... No its no. And that was a good movie. Derek and I watched it on a date after he moved in" Meredith replied

"And how long ago was that? Jeez, us back then as little tiny residents running around like crazy little infants L.O.L" Cristina laughed

"Did you seriously just L.O.L yourself?" Meredith laughed

Before Cristina had time to comment back Meredith felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

"It's Derek" Meredith said as she looked at the called i.d

"Oh I wonder what he wants" Cristina teased

"Shut up..." Meredith scowled at her as she flipped open her phone "Hello?" Meredith spoke

"_Hi, Mer are you at Joe's" Derek asked_

"Yeah why what's up?" Meredith said raising her voice as she placed her finger over her other ear trying to hear Derek voice over the loud music in the foreground

"_I can't make it tonight, I've got a patient who needs emergency surgery" Derek explained_

"Oh ok. Izzie gonna be pretty pissed" Meredith replied

"_Oh no, Dr White said he's going to head over to Joe's anyway so you might bump into him" Derek said_

"Oh ok, well Izzie knows what he looks like so... I'll see you tonight, and we can talk about... You know" Meredith said to

"_Sure" Derek replied "I better go their wheeling him in. See you tonight. Love you"_

"Love you too" Meredith replied before hearing the phone go dead

"_I love yoou_" Cristina repeated sarcastically

"Not funny" Meredith frowned as she put her phone back into her pocket

"So you two are reliving world war two and there's still I love you's involved?" Cristina smirked

"It's not world war two and yes there are still I love you's" Meredith replied as she took a sip of her drink

"So what's the deal with you and McDreamy anyway?" Cristina asked

"Whoa!" Meredith gasped

"What?" Cristina said as she spun her head around in all directions "What?" she repeated

"Nothing, It's just I haven't heard that on in a while" Meredith smiled

"What? McDreamy?" Cristina frowned

"Yeah" Meredith replied

"Yeah well he's not exactly been McDreamy lately. More like McWorkaholic or McDooshbag" Cristina said

"Nice" Meredith said as unimpressed as she clamped hand around her glass in frustration

"Ok you guy's..." Izzie said as she ran over to the table and took a seat on her stool "I found him!"

"Who?" Cristina said with a confused look on her face

"McHotshot. Oh my god he's so hot. And single and he lives only a few blocks away and did I mention he's single" Izzie said excitedly

"Ok so go get him" Cristina asked

"Ok he's over at the bar talking to Joe. I'll be right back" Izzie said before rushing off back to the bar

"You do realise if she goes home with him tonight, it's gonna be all McHotshot this McHotshot that tomorrow don't you?" Cristina said as she looked at Meredith who was looking a little green "You ok? You look a little green"

"Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up" Meredith moaned as she place her hand on her stomach

Meredith sat still for a moment with her hand on her stomach trying to control the nausea

"Anything?" Cristina asked

"No!" Meredith gasped

"Ok, ok go..." Cristina ordered her "... Go" She shouted once more as Meredith ran through the crowd of people towards the bathroom

Moments after Meredith disappeared from Cristina view Izzie appeared, dragging a poor guy behind her. She stood before the table and pulled Dr White beside her

"Guy's this is..." Izzie began before looking at Meredith empty seat "Wait where's Shep?" Izzie asked pointing to Meredith's stool

"Oh, She had to throw up" Cristina laughed

"Oh, ew" Izzie commented as she screwed her face up "Ok... this is Max" Izzie said as she gestured to Max

"Oh hi, Dr White" Cristina smiled as she extended her hand

"Call me Max" Max said with a wide smile

"Ok" Cristina smiled

"This is Cristina" Izzie said unenthusiastically

"So the other one is Dr Shepherd's wife?" Max asked pointing to Meredith empty seat

"Yeah, she probably hanging her head over the toilet as we speak, The price you have to pay for being three months pregnant I guess" Cristina laughed I guess I should go and check on her" Christina said as she lifted herself from her stool " Are you guys going?" Cristina said to Izzie

"Erm...?" Izzie said as she looked at Max

"... Yeah, you can come to my place and help me unpack some of my boxes" Max said with a cheeky smirk

"Ok" Izzie laughed "See you Cris" Izzie said before walking towards the door

"Cya" Cristina replied before walking towards the bathroom.

**XXXXX**

"Meredith?" Cristina asked as she knocked on the bathroom door "Mer? You in there?" She asked once more

"Yeah" Meredith replied as she unlocked the door before opening it

"Ok so that Dr White is h.o.t, hot" Cristina giggled as Meredith walked out of the bathroom closing the door behind her

"Where are they?" Meredith asked as she began to scan the bar for Izzie

"Oh they've gone back to his place. Pretty unbelievable don't cha think" Cristina scoffed as they sat back down at their table

"Yeah..." Meredith taking a sip of her water

"You ok?" Cristina asked placing her hand on Mer head

"Yeah it's just they nausea kicking in I'm fine" Meredith smiled "I think I'm gonna head home"

"Ok" Cristina smiled as she watched Meredith gather her bag and coat

"I'll see you tomorrow" Meredith smiled as she turned towards the door

"Drive safe" Cristina shouted before Meredith exited through the door

**XXXX**

Meredith pulled up in her driveway 15 minutes later. The house was still with lights grazing through the windows and Derek's car was absent. She locked her car up and made her way to the front door. Once inside she extracted herself from her coat and bag before walking into the kitchen to grab a drink of orange juice from the fridge. She slammed the fridge door closed with her foot before walking over sink to get a glass from the drainage board. She poured her drink into her glass before leaning back against the unit. She scanned the room carefully, until something suddenly dawned on her. This was the first time in a long time she was alone in her home. Usually when Derek was not around she would have Abbey to keep her company. But she was at a friend's house, so Meredith was all alone. She smiled at herself thinking about all the possible things she could do. Watch what she wanted to watch on the TV, have a nice hot long bath, clean the list went on. But the one thing Meredith seemed to be more attracted to was the hot bath. She then placed her glass into the sink and put the orange juice back into the fridge. When she closed the door, she noticed a small photo staring her in the face. She removed the magnet which was pinning it to the fridge and held it in her hand for a moment. It was a picture of the baby. The first scan of her and Derek's child, she ran her finger over the image of the tiny body that was frozen in time on paper.

"You... are amazing" Meredith muttered to herself

She continued to smile at herself as she held the photo in her hand when she suddenly heard the front door open. She turned and placed the picture onto the counter and headed towards the kitchen door

"Derek?" Meredith said as she walked into hall "Andrea?" She frowned when she saw her niece standing in the hall with tear flooded her eyes

"I..." Andrea sobbed

"Hey, come here" Meredith said as she walked over to Andrea and wrapped her arms around her. "Shh... it's ok" Meredith said as Andrea placed her head onto Meredith's shoulder. "Shh..." Meredith said trying to sooth her.

They stood in the hall for a few minutes wrapped up in each other's firm embrace

"What is it?" Meredith asked as she pulled away looking at Andrea directly in the eyes

"I need help" Andrea wept

"Sure, what's wrong?" Meredith replied as she ran her fingers through Andrea head of thick black hair

"I think... I need... some medical help" Andrea replied embarrassed

"Ok" Meredith said as she gave Andrea a small smile

Meredith took Andrea's hand and led her over to the couch.

"Ok... tell me what's going on" Meredith said as she gripped onto Andrea's hand for support.

Andrea smiled at her before crossing her feet onto the couch and got herself comfortable.

"It's ok" Meredith smiled as she brushed Andrea's hair behind her ear

Andrea gazed at Meredith for a moment, as she began to build up the courage to tell her aunt her problem.

"I was at this party and I was drunk... I slept with this guy, Grant. I thought he liked me, but it turns out he was just using me, and I can't believe that I let him, because I don't... I'm not like at all. So last month I got a call from his brother telling me that Grant's been diagnosed with HIV... And we didn't use protection..." Andrea said as tears began to flow freely down her cheeks

"Andy..." Meredith said weakly as tears began to build up in her eyes

"And I've been having these headaches and sore throats and I've been throwing up nonstop since last Friday, I thought it was a chest infection or something but then I remembered... and now I'm freaking out, and I can't tell my mom..." Andrea explained as she began to sob more violently

Meredith watched she her niece began to breakdown before her eyes. She swallowed a large lump in her throat before running her fingers through Andrea's hair.

"Ok..." Meredith sniffled "We are going to go to the hospital. And run some tests, ok? We are going figure this out" Meredith said with a smile

"No I can't go there, Uncle Derek..." Andrea gasped as tear continued to run down her face

"No, no it's ok. We can do it in the clinic. It will be closed... ok?" Meredith said with a smile

"Ok" Andrea replied

"Ok let's go" Meredith said as she stood up and extended her hand out to Andrea

Andrea accepted her hand gesture and they grabbed their coats headed for Seattle Grace.

'**Babble'**

_Ok so I hope you like this =)_

_Momma Shep and family are still in Seattle btw..._

_So this Dr Max White mystery man =D who took Iz back to his place._

_The next chapter is going to be about Max... There with be no MerDer... It's gonna give you a little insight about him, and who he is and where he's from and stuff... It's going to take place after he and Izzie left the bar._

_But don't worry after his chapter it will continue from where this one left off. Andrea and Mer going to SGH!_

_So this chapter, chapter 21 and 22 all take place in one night. But you will understand once you read them =D_

'_What I Am' is being edited and should be up within the next few days..._

_Please review I'm proud of this chapter! =p Thanks xx_


	21. A Little Taste Of Her Past

Izzie sat in Max's car patiently as they waited at a red stop light. She had been sitting next to him for ten minutes during the car journey to his apartment. Once the stop light turned green Max continued to drive for a further five minutes until they pulled up outside an old Victorian building.

"This is where you live?" Izzie gasped as she gazed out of the passenger window

"Yeah" Max replied as he unbuckled himself from his seat "Come on inside" He smiled before getting out of the car

"Thanks" Izzie smiled as Max opened the door for her

They walked through the front entrance and up a flight of stairs until they reached the first floor. Max stopped outside a large blue door which had the number '2' written in big golden letters.

"Ready?" Max smiled at Izzie as she waited for him to insert his keys into the lock

"Yeah" Izzie smiled as he turned the key in the lock

Max let out a slight giggle at her expression as he swung open the door and stepped inside. Izzie followed him unto the darkness which was his apartment

"Does this place have any light?" Izzie asked as she stood barely inside the door.

"No... The electrics are shot... But..." Max said as he lit a few candles over by the kitchen counter. I do have candles and a fireplace" He smiled as he walked over to the fireplace holding a candle

"Ha-Ha" Izzie laughed as Max sparked up the fire "Wow" Izzie smiled "This place is amazing"

The second the fireplace flamed up the whole apartment lit up. The colour of the flames reflecting onto the walls was breath taking. Izzie closed the door behind her and began to make her way across the open plan apartment to the living space.

"You don't even have a couch?" Izzie laughed as she walked over to Max

"No... Sorry about that, most of my things are still in storage" Max explained "Sit" He said as he began to place pillows and a few blankets on the floor in front of the fire

"Thanks" Izzie smiled as she sat on the floor

"Do you want some wine?" Max asked as he walked a few meters into the open kitchen area

"Sure" Izzie replied as she took her coat and scarf off and threw it behind her

"Here" Max said as he handed Izzie a glass of wine before sitting down beside her

"So..." Izzie said as she placed the wine on the floor in front of her

"So..." Max replied with a smile

"So why did you buy an apartment with no electricity?" Izzie giggled

"Ah that you will find out in the morning" Max smiled

"The morning? And what makes you think I'm still going to be here in the morning" Izzie smiled at him

"Because of this..." Max said before leaning into Izzie and kissing her passionately on the lips

"Good answer" Izzie smiled as he pulled away slowly

Their lips hovered over each other for a moment, before Izzie pulled away

"I don't even know you" Izzie said as she stared into his burning brown eyes

"I don't know you" Max smiled "... And I want to know you" he said before running his fingers through her hair

"And I want to know you to" Izzie grinned

"More wine?" Max asked as he held up the bottle of wine

"Sure" Izzie smiled

The time was now around 11pm Izzie had been at Max's apartment for a few hours, and everything was going great. After nearly finishing the bottle of wine Max and Izzie were lying down in front of the fire. Max had his arm wrapped around her shoulder as she rested her head onto his chest.

"So..." Izzie began "What made a hot shot doctor like you come to Seattle Grace?" Izzie asked

"You mean besides the job?" Max asked as he rested his chin on top of her head

"Yeah" Izzie replied as she continued to rest her head on his chest

"Nothing" Max smiled

Izzie smiled and let out a long moan. As she did so Max kissed the top of her head

"Ok... So..." Max began as he shifted underneath Izzie and sat up "Tell me about yourself" Max smiled as Izzie lifted herself up next to him

"What? I have" Izzie replied looking confused

"No I mean, something personal. Something you would only trust a boyfriend with" Max smiled

"You're not my boyfriend" Izzie pointed out

"Not yet" Max replied with a smile before kissing Izzie quickly on the lips

"Funny, you're a funny guy" Izzie smiled

"Come one" Max said with a grin

"I dunno..." Izzie hesitated

"Ok, let make a deal. You tell me three things about yourself that a boyfriend would want to know, and then I'll do the same ok?" Max asked as he ran his fingers through Izzie hair

"... Ok" Izzie said after a long pause

"Ok" Max replied as he sat up and began to listen

"Ok so I don't want you to freak out, promise me you won't" Izzie pleaded

"Promise" Max smiled

"Ok... I have a son" Izzie said quickly

"Ok" Max smiled warmly

"Ok? You're ok with that?" Izzie asked

"Yes, I'm ok with that" Max smiled before kissing Izzie on the cheek

"Ok... Erm..." Izzie began to think "I've been in love on twice" She smiled while slightly nodding her head

"And... I love to bake" Izzie laughed

"Bake?" Max laughed as he placed his hand on her knee

"Don't mock me. Ok you're turn" Izzie smiled

"Ok" Max replied

"I have no kids" He smiled

"Erm... I've only been in love once. But that didn't end well. And I love to fish" Max said with a smile

"Fish huh?" Izzie laughed

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" Max laughed

"Nothing, nothing it's cute actually. You never really struck me as the fishing kind" Izzie smiled

"Well I have alot of hidden talents" Max replied

"So do I" Izzie smiled cheekily

"Ok so now you've said that, I really want to see some" Max replied

"Maybe later" Izzie smiled "So what happened?" Izzie asked as she took a sip of her almost empty wine glass

"With what?" Max asked as he filled up his glass

"With the one and only love. Why did it end so badly" Izzie asked as she took the wine bottle off him

"It's a really long story, and I don't think you would want to hear it" Max replied as he lay back down onto the floor

"I do... I'm a good listener" Izzie smiled as she lay down beside him and propped herself up onto her elbow

"Ok" Max replied with a smile as he propped himself on his elbow so they were face each other

"I met her in college. And I guess you could say it was love at first sight. The moment I laid eyes on her I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So I introduced myself and she laughed in my face" Max began

"What?" Izzie laughed

"... Yeah she laughed at me, and said 'Are you serious?' I was kind of shocked that she was shocked you know? Anyway to make a long story short, we'd been together for almost two years and when college ended we and a few other friends decided to go on a vacation. So we did. We were gone for I'd say two months. And they were the best two months of my life. No rules, no parents anywhere telling you what to do. It was amazing. She was amazing. We were in love. So when we got too Paris me and a buddy of mine decided to go into a jewellers and buy her a ring. I wanted to marry her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I loved her so much. So I spent all my money on this ring, and I was planning to propose to her that evening, but a friend got sick so we had to rush him to the hospital. Anyway I kept putting it off because I was scared she would say no. But then one night I decided that it was time to do it. So we all got dressed up and headed off to this party that some scaly invited us all to. Anyway I got pretty drunk and I slept with her best friend. She caught us together, and she left." Max finished

"She left? Just like that?" Izzie asked

"Yeah. She got the first flight back to America. And I've never seen her since." Max replied

"I'm sorry" Izzie said as she ran her hand over his face

"... I tried so hard to find her over the years, you know to apologise and to try and win her back. But she just fell off the grid. Anyway a few weeks ago I got a call from her best friend, the one I slept with, telling me she was in Seattle. So I took this job for the money of course. But also because I would be in Seattle." Max replied

A sudden sense of sadness washed over Izzie. She could tell that Max really and truly loved this woman. She could see it in his eyes. She could see the hurt. But at the same time a slight sense of jealously appeared to. Even though she did not know him that well, she still found herself falling for this stranger. Was he using her to fill his empty heart or did he feel something for her.

"But I don't want to dwell on it any longer. I've wasted too much time and energy looking for her. It's time for me to move on. To date, and to fall in love over again" Max smiled as he sat up

"Yeah" Izzie said as she sat up beside him

"Yeah" max replied before leaning in to kiss her patiently

'_**The Babble'**_

_Ok so this was never suppose to be that long.. it just a little Info about why Max in town.. any guesses?_

_=p_

_So I'm gonna start writing the next chapter... Which will pick up from where we left off in the chapter before this one... With Mer and Andrea heading to the hospital_

_COME PEOPLE REVIEW.. THEY REALLY MAKE MY DAY! =D _

_PLEEAASEEE... =D - I'm smiling here which is rare thing for a person like me lol!! =p_


	22. Live Like You're Dying

_Ok this is a major warning... this chapter has a huge __**M**__ rated scene ok! And I mean huge! It's longer than... well ever... so you better review! Coz it's freaking HOTT!!!! And a major tease haha. I might turn that scene into a oneshot... so it's not hard to find if you feel like reading it randomly. What do you think...? let me know._

The night was getting colder. The sky was black and the air was thick with a foggy mist. Andrea stood in the corner of the ambulance bay waiting for Meredith to return with the keys to the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic – Izzie's baby. She had poured her heart and soul into the clinic and it was now one of the foremost free clinics in Seattle.

Andrea continued to wait outside the clinic for an extended period of time. She shivered as she felt a sudden gush of cold air rush past her. Suddenly the saw a figure appear at the ER doors.

"You got it?" Andrea said as Meredith became clear in her vision

"Yeah..." Meredith replied as she inserted the key into the door "Izzie keeps a spare key in her locker" Meredith said as she swung the door open of her niece.

"Cool" Andrea replied as she rushed past Meredith

As the pair entered the dark clinic Meredith locked the door behind her and walked over the desk to turn on a side lamp. Andrea followed her as she began to scan the room.

"Nice clinic" Andrea complimented as she continued to walk around the room

"Yeah it is. Izzie's worked really hard to get this place off the ground" Meredith said as she walked over to a cabinet to grab a few things that where needed for Andrea's tests

"What's that?" Andrea pointed as she walked behind the desk and began to point at a pin board on the wall

"What?" Meredith asked as she turned and saw Andrea looking at the wall

She was looking at a pin board full of photos and letters from patients that Izzie and other members of the clinics staff had treated over the years. There where photos placed everywhere and anywhere, hundreds of them.

"Oh" Meredith smiled as she joined Andrea "They are all Izzie patients" Meredith smiled as she gazed at the wall

"It's so pretty... Aw look at this..." Andrea said as she unclipped a drawing as held it in front of Meredith

"I remember her, she came in here with her mom a year ago complaining of chest pain, and Izzie discovered she had a tumour around her heart. Izzie caught it soon enough and the girl had surgery and made a full recovery. She was only eight. And she drew Izzie this picture to thank her" Meredith smiled as she clipped the picture back onto the board. "Come on I need to talk you through something's so we can start" Meredith said as she began to walk away

"Wait" Andrea said "Is that you and Abbey?" She asked as she pointed up to a picture on the board

"Where?" Meredith asked as she walked back over to Andrea

"There" Andrea replied as she pointed to the photo

"Yeah, it is" Meredith said as she began to stare at it

"What?" Andrea asked looking slightly confused

"Nothing, I didn't know it was on here that's all" Meredith replied. She stared at the photo for a few more seconds wondering when it was taken, and then suddenly it dawned on her.

"How old is Abbey there?" Andrea asked

"About an hour old" Meredith said as a smiled crept across her face

"Seriously?" Andrea asked "You had her in here?"

"Yeah, my water broke so Cristina rushed me to the hospital, and we caught Izzie as she was locking up the clinic, so we came in here so I could have her away from the hospital and the noise, you know so I could have some privacy" Meredith explained with a grin on her face

"Where was Uncle Derek?" Andrea asked as she stared at the picture

"Surgery, but he made it down in time, I refused to push until he came" Meredith laughed

"And just to think you will be doing all over again in a few months" Andrea pointed out as she crossed her arms over her chest

"Yeah..." Meredith replied with a smiled as she stared at the photo on the board

The room fell silent, they both stood next to each other gazing at the photo of a younger Abbey.

"... Ok we better get you tested" Meredith said as she walked Andrea over to one of the beds.

Once Meredith had completed Andrea's test she placed the blood into a sealed packet and placed it into her pocket.

"I've written the blood sample under the name of Jane Doe, so no one will get suspicious ok" Meredith said with a smile

"Ok thanks" Andrea smiled as she held a small cotton bud on her arm where Meredith had drew her blood from

"Ok" Meredith began as she pulled off her latex gloves "You're gonna be ok, I will help you through this." Meredith said with a smile as she ran her hand through Andrea's thick hair.

"Thanks" Andrea smiled

"Here..." Meredith said as she placed her hand into her pocket, pulling out her car keys "... Take my car, go back to my place and relax. We shouldn't worry until we need to ok?" Meredith smiled as she handed Andrea her car keys

Andrea smiled at Meredith before watching her walk out of the room to take her blood to the lab.

**XXXX**

Once Meredith had dropped off Andrea's labs she made her way to the surgical floor. There was no point in her going home at this point. Once she reached the surgical floor Meredith stood and began to observe the OR board. She noticed that Derek should be coming out of surgery anytime now.

"Shep?" Meredith heard a voice call from behind her. She turned around and noticed Lexie sitting at the nurse's station

"Hey" Meredith replied before turning and walking over to her little sister

"What are you doing here? I thought you had the night off?" Lexie asked as she closed her patients chart

"Yeah, I did I'm just here for..." Meredith said as she used small hand gestures "... Nothing it's not important"

"Oh" Lexie nodded "How's Abbey?"

"She great, she sleeping at a friend's house tonight so..." Meredith explained as she leant on the desk top slightly

"Oh..." Lexie interrupted "... Heads up" She nodded behind Meredith

"What?" Meredith said with a confused look on her face

"Hi, what are you doing here?" A voice whispered into Meredith's ear before placing a kiss on her neck

"I..." Meredith stuttered

"Can't get enough of me?" Derek said as he turned Meredith around in his arms

"Nope" Meredith smiled

Derek lent down and placed a long, skin melting kiss on her lips

"Mmm..." He moaned as his placed his hand on her cheek

"Derek..." Meredith said as she pulled away "No PDA in the hospital halls" Meredith laughed

"Ok then" Derek smiled before taking her hand in his and pulling her into the nearest on call room.

"How about in here?" Derek replied as he closed the door behind him and pulled back on Meredith's hand pushing her against the door.

"Here's great" Meredith said as Derek hovered his lips inches away from hers

Derek ran his hand through Meredith's hair as he gazed into her deep gray eyes.

"Derek?" Meredith gasped as they lingered their lips inches apart.

The attraction Meredith felt between them was overbearing. The heat that ran through her veins was so hot. She just wanted to rip his clothes off there and then. But she could tell Derek wanted to take it slow. If he didn't he would have her in a hot state of ecstasy by now.

Derek slid his hands under her shirt and placed them either side of her stomach and squeezed her gently. As he did so Meredith began to untuck his scrub top from his pants slowly and smoothly. Meredith figured that if Derek was going to tease her she might as well do the same. He parted his lips slightly and exhaled his hot minty breath over her mouth.

"Derek?" Meredith moaned in need

"Mmm" Derek replied as he placed his head in the crook of her neck and begun to place kisses over her throat.

"Ohh" Meredith winced as he continued his sweet torture

As Derek continued to spread kisses over her neck Meredith tilted her head back against the door. In that moment Derek could hear Meredith's breath start to get deeper and hoarse. He caught hold of her hands which were holding onto his waist and lifted them over her head and pinned them against the door, before moving his lips back down to her neck.

"God!" Meredith moaned as she placed her hands on top of Derek's head as he continued to peck at her collar bone

"Mmm" Derek moaned as he reached for the button of her jeans. He rested his head against her shoulder as he slowly began to unbutton her jeans. Meredith rubbed her hands across his shoulders as he did so. Suddenly Meredith felt her jeans fall to the floor. Once they did she stepped out of them and pushed them out of the way with her foot. Derek came back up to her level and continued to kiss away at her neck. He then began to undo the top few buttons of her shirt exposing some cleavage. As he kissed her cleavage, he could feel Meredith's heart beating rapidly under his soft touch.

"Take your top off" Meredith whispered into his ear seductively

As she said those words Derek stepped back a few inches and pulled his indigo scrub top over his head and threw it onto the floor behind him before returning to kiss Meredith chest

"You're so gorgeous..." Derek gasped against her skin

"Mmm" Meredith whimpered. He was killing her with his soft touch. She felt like she was slowly dying inside. She needed him inside her. She hated it when Derek teased her like this. She knew it was going to be a long night. Derek loved foreplay and Meredith knew it. Sometimes it could take up to 20 minutes of teasing until they got down to the hot business.

"... Every inch of you" Derek said as he continued to press hot, wet kisses over her chest

Meredith reached down for the button on Derek's pants, as she began to fumble with it to unbutton them Derek took hold of her hands and placed them above her head once more

"Slow down" Derek moaned into her ear before he began to nibble at it

"You're driving me crazy..." Meredith expressed as she tilted her head back against the door

"That's the point..." Derek replied as he began to unbutton her shirt. As he unclasped each button he kissed his way down her body following the same path as his fingers. Once he unhooked the last button he slowly ran his hands up the sides of her abdomen over her bra and up to her shoulders, where he gripped onto Meredith's shirt and pulled it off her shoulders, leaving it to rest crumpled up over each elbow. Meredith reacted to his notion and began to tilt her body backwards, as she did so her pelvis presses against Derek hard crotch. He placed a hand around the back of her neck for support and the other on her lower back. As she sloped backwards slightly she let out a loud tantalising moan before lifting her leg and wrapping her foot around his thigh.

"God!" Meredith whimpered as she felt Derek hardness press against her through his jeans

"Mmm" was all Derek could bring himself to mutter as he returned his lips to her collar bone

As Meredith tilted her body backwards, she pressed her shoulder blades against the door for balance. Derek continued to kiss her collar before descending slowly down between her breasts to her abdomen. He slowly began to circle his tongue around her navel, as he did so he suddenly felt a pair of gentle fingers gather together in his hair. He continued to kiss Meredith's tiny bump that protruded slightly from her stomach.

"Are you... Mmm..." Meredith moaned at the sensation of Derek tongue "... Gonna do the bendy thing again" Meredith gasped as she felt Derek curl his index fingers around her black panties

"Do you want me to?" Derek asked as he pulled the front of her panties down slightly

"Yeah... Please" Meredith begged as she ran her fingers through Derek's hair

"Please?" Derek teased

"Mmhm" Meredith nodded as she closed her eyes and banged her head back against the door once more

"I'll consider it" Derek said with a smile and he kissed Meredith pubic bone

"Derek!" Meredith gasped as she felt him rub his hand over the fabric of her panties "Oh my god!" She moaned as she bit her lip in excitement. Derek could feel her wetness through her panties which made his cock jump. Meredith lowered her hand to his and followed the moments of his fingers underneath hers. Derek then removed his hand and swapped it with hers. Derek began to massage his fingers above Meredith's so he could help her simulate herself.

Derek had all the control, which was something that Meredith, hated. When he had control over her body he decided the rules of their foreplay. He liked to make it slow, hot and painful. But for Meredith it was just plain agony. Her pulse was racing rapidly as Derek continued to rub his fingers above hers which rested against her clit; she soon became tender to the touch.

"Take off your pants" Meredith moaned as Derek levelled his face with hers once more

"You" Derek moaned as he pushed his crotch on to Meredith's hand

As Meredith began to search for Derek's jean button, she gazed into his burning eyes. Their lips were inches apart, but still they never touched. Derek knew that Meredith loved the feel of his tongue inside her mouth. That was what really got her going. Still as he remained in control he made sure their lips would never touch. He held onto Meredith's waist as they gazed at each other. Once Meredith had found the button of his jeans she pulled herself from his grip and slowly began to kiss his chest, moving lower down his body, briefly flicking his nipple with her tongue before continuing down to his navel. As she began to undo his button she licked her tongue over his treasure trail, before unzipping his jeans and pulling them down over his thighs. She placed a wet kiss above the waist band of his boxers, before gripping the elastic in her teeth and pulling them away. Meredith looked up into her husband's eyes before releasing his boxers causing them to snap back to his skin.

"Mmm" Derek moaned as Meredith began to trail her wet tongue all the way up to his neck.

"You really know how to get me going don't you?" Derek said with a giggle against her neck

"Mmm..." Meredith gasped quickly as Derek placed has hands underneath her butt and lifted her up "I try" She smile as she wrapped her long legs around his waist.

"Yeah" Derek said as he lifted her up higher and began to spread kisses over her chest

Meredith tilted her head backwards until it lent on the door. She felt Derek's hand work its way from her butt up the ribs until it reached the back of her bra strap. Suddenly she felt her chest relax as he unclasped her bra strap. Meredith quickly disposed of her bra onto to floor. And it didn't take Derek long to find her breast and began to massage it with his lips.

"Ok seriously, you have to stop!" Meredith moaned into his ear

"Why?" Derek teased as he began to suck on her neck

"Ahh..." Meredith gasped as she felt Derek's lips, suck and pull on her neck "Coz you're driving me insane with all the..." Meredith began as she rested her cheek on top of Derek's head

"Mmm hm-hm" Derek laughed as he returned his hand to her womanhood and began to simulate her clit through her panties once more.

"... Ahh..." Meredith moaned heavily "... With all that..." She finished as she licked her lips, before closing her eyes and biting her bottom lip

Derek raised his head from her breast and began to kiss her jaw line "I love you" Derek said with a smile as he looked her in the eyes

Meredith stared at him for a moment, before exchanging smiles. As Meredith looked into his eyes, she felt complete. She saw the sparkle he had in his eye. Derek was well known around the hospital for having his 'McDreamy' look that certain sparkle. But there was another twinkle that Derek only shared with Meredith during this time of heat and passion. Every time he and Meredith made love that glisten appeared, and it made Meredith want him even more.

"And I love you" She smiled sweetly

Suddenly Derek pressed his lips against hers, she sighed loudly into his mouth as he began to caress them. He then pulled away without warning and watched as Meredith's mouth swelled. He hovered his mouth an inch from hers and ran his tongue over the small opening that she was breathing through. As his tongue teased her lips, Meredith could not take it much longer. She placed both her hands behind his ears and took his tongue into her mouth. She embraced every inch of it. As their tongues mated in a sensual dance they were clearly visible from the outside and they dipped into each other mouths.

As they continued their sweet entanglement Derek lowered Meredith's feet to the ground so she was standing on the floor once more.

Meredith wrapped both her hands into his hair as she pushed her pelvis into his hardness. As she did so Derek wrapped his fingers around her panties and slowly began to pull them down her thighs. He dropped himself lower, and lower kissing his way down her stomach as he extracted Meredith panties from her legs. Finally she was free. He tossed them onto the floor before returning back to Meredith's face level. He began to kiss her jaw line softly. As he did so Meredith placed her hands on his hips and pulled his boxers down slightly so they fell to the floor. He stepped out of them before placing one of his hands on the back of her neck and slowly running it up her head lifting her hair up as he went along.

"Shit..." Meredith groaned as she felt Derek hardness press against her stomach.

"Mer..." Derek groaned as he placed a hand on the back of her thigh and the other around her waist

"Yeah..." Meredith replied breathlessly "... Ahh..." she cried as Derek lifted her up and pushed her against the door. She rested her elbows onto his shoulders and thread her fingers into his hair as he inserted his tongue into her mouth.

Meredith could not believe how hot and flustered she was, and he wasn't even inside her yet. She could feel Derek's wet tip against her upper thigh. He kissed her again tenderly, before resting both his hands under her butt and carried her over to a desk that rested against the wall a few meters to their left. Before he placed her on the table, he used one hand to push a few books and some stationary off the table onto the floor. Once they clattered to the ground Derek placed his wife onto the table and began to kiss her swollen lips hungrily.

"Meredith..." Derek moaned as he trailed his hands down her ribs, over her waist and finally under her perfectly toned thighs. He lifted her thighs up and she rested her feet on the edge of the desk.

"You ready?" Derek asked as he placed his hands on the inside of her knee and spread them apart so each knee was almost touching the table top. She was so flexible, she could bend in directions.

"Mmm" Meredith moaned as she tilted her head back, her hair followed and fell behind her shoulders exposing her hot glistening neck.

"Mmm... you are" Derek moaned as he rubbed the tip of his cock over her wet folds lightly

Meredith breathing intensified. Derek was teasing her again. She knew that he knew she wanted him inside her. That's all she could think about at this point, she wanted to feel the heat of his cock being enclosed in her walls. The world had disappeared around her, Derek was the only thing she needed right now.

Derek stood at the foot of the desk, as he held Meredith's legs open. She tilted her body back slightly and rested her head on the wall as she waited for him to fill her.

"Ohh" Meredith whimpered as Derek placed his tip at her wet glossy entrance.

He knew she was ready; it was all up to him now. As began to tease her some more, by squeezing her thigh. He placed his other hand in her hair and brushed it down her neck over her breast and down to her waist.

"Derek..." Meredith breathed heavily

As she moaned his name Derek gripped onto her thighs and slid her crotch forward onto his cock quickly

"AHH!" Meredith jumped and latched onto his shoulders as she felt him enter her firm and fast "Fuck!" She cried as he filled her

"Mmm..." Derek moaned has he placed his hands behind her butt and began to move her along his long hard length. She was tight at first, her walls clenched around his manhood but the more he moved in and out of her and the more she began to lubricate and the more slippery and easy it was to penetrate her. Derek kissed and pecked at Meredith neck as she continued to hold her head back against the wall. Meredith clenched her eyes closed in a bid to concentrate on controlling her surfacing heavy orgasm.

"Meredith?" Derek whispered bringing a hand up to her cheek as he continued to thrust into her "Mer..." Derek repeated as he drove into her

"Wha...?" Meredith cried as she bit her lip

"Look at me" Derek replied breathless

"What?" Meredith repeated as she lifted her head and looked into his eyes

"I wanna look at you" Derek replied as he placed his hand behind her neck and pulled her close into him. She was now sitting upright on the table pressing her bare sweaty chest against his.

"Ok..." Meredith whispered

Derek rested his hands on her shoulder blades and tilted her body backwards slightly at an angle for better access. He continued to thrust into her as she moaned constantly.

"You're so beautiful" Derek smiled as he lingered his face inches away from hers

Meredith smiled in reply and placed her fingers through his hair as he continued to thrust into her

"Ohh" Meredith moaned. She could feel her first orgasm begin to surface. She was close, but not. Derek wanted Meredith to have an earth shattering orgasm, and by thrusting into her at this angle, she would not be able to achieve it. Derek knew exactly which button to push to make her explode around him. He slowed his pace and pushed her back down onto the table.

"Derek..." Meredith cried as Derek began his rapid thrusts once more. He pounded into her at his new angle which made Meredith cry his name in pleasure.

"Ah, right there" Meredith moaned as Derek pushed himself into her hard before halting for a moment

"There?" He asked holding steady inside her, as he ran his hand over her naked torso

"Yeah... That feel's... Amazing... ohh!" She cried as he began his frantic movements once more.

As continued to thrust into her the table began to bang into the wall. Meredith dropped her hands from Derek's shoulders and gripped onto the edge of the table, and began to move her hips against his rhythm. Suddenly Meredith's body tensed, Derek felt her muscles contracted around him and Meredith spread her legs as wide as she could.

"Derek... Oh my... GOD...!" she cried "... I'm coming, Ahh... Jesus" Meredith groaned as Derek slammed hastily into her. He could feel all her juices leaking around him, and she became more wet and slippery and he pumped in and out of her.

The sound of Meredith's cries made Derek's blood boil over. He lent down and began to kiss Meredith on the lips as she continued to cry in pleasure.

"Hold on" Derek said as he placed his hands over Meredith's ribs securely and lifted her up off the table to his body as she slid along his mast

"Ah" Meredith gasped as Derek pulled her up towards his body. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and she slowed her paced as her orgasm died down, before dropping her head onto Derek's shoulder.

"Did you?" Derek asked as he rested her back onto the table and kissed her sweaty neck

"Yeah... I did" Meredith whispered breathlessly. She licked her lips and began to peck his earlobe.

"Good..." Derek replied as he kissed her neck

"Mmm..." Meredith nodded "... You're turn"

"Mm ha-ha" Derek laughed as he wrapped his arms around Meredith's waist and picked her up, before carrying her over to the bed. He rested her back down gently and lay on top of her.

As he lent over Meredith he began to kiss her chest. He lifted himself up onto his knees as he continued to peck at her chest.

Meredith gritted her teeth and let out a slight moan as Derek raised her legs up and wrapped them around his waist. She began her sweet cries as Derek began to thrust into her once more. As he continued to thrust into her she moved her hips along with his to meet his thrusts. As the effects of Meredith's first orgasm disappeared she suddenly felt a second one surface. She placed her hands onto Derek's back and dug her nails into his slightly. This feeling drove Derek crazy and he began to paced faster. Suddenly Meredith's walls began to feel tighter again, he knew she was close.

"Derek..." Meredith whimpered "... Harder"

Derek did as she requested and thrust into her harder. As he watched Meredith's expression on her face, it suddenly changed. He kissed her slightly on the lips, before pulling back an inch to witness her climax. Meredith suddenly exploded around him once more, a weak smile appeared on her face, before she lent up and kissed him as she came.

"God Mer..." Derek moaned as he felt her juices run over him.

He thrust into her a few more frantic times, before losing all control and spilling himself inside her.

"Ahh..." Derek groaned as he thrust once "Ah..." twice "Mmm..." Three times.

"Fuck!" Meredith whispered into Derek's ear as he dropped his head into the crook of her neck. His body became limp on top of hers. Derek searched for Meredith hand which was resting on his thigh. He grabbed onto it and thread his fingers through hers.

"I love you" He gasped completely out of breath as he raised his head and kissed each of her tiny fingers which were intertwined with his.

Meredith nodded in reply and ran her hand through his curls on the back of his head.

"Mmm" She moaned as she felt Derek extracted himself from her before collapsing by her side.

"That was..." Derek began as he pulled the thin pink sheets over their bodies

"... Frickin unreal" Meredith laughed as she pulled the sheet over her breasts slightly

"Yeah" Derek smiled as he wrapped his arm over her waist and latched onto her hand

"Mmm" Meredith giggled as she felt Derek's breath tickle her neck

Derek crossed his leg over Meredith's and rested his head in the crook of her neck before closing his eye's and drifting off into a deep slumber.

**XXXXX**

A few hours later Meredith was awoken by the sound of a loud pager. She opened her eyes and dropped her hand to the floor, but never moving her body.

"Mmm" Meredith moaned in frustration

"What?" Derek asked as he stirred behind her before placing a kiss on her shoulder

"My pagers over near the door" Meredith replied as she brought her hand back onto the bed before closing her eyes again

"Go get it then" Derek suggested as he continued to kiss her shoulder and neck

"I'm too warm... I can't move!" Meredith groaned

"You can't move or you don't want to?" Derek teased as he ran his rough chin along her shoulder

"Both!" Meredith replied as she turned in Derek's arms and rested her head into his chest

"Fine" Derek said as he began to lift himself up

"What are you doing?" Meredith moaned as Derek climbed over her and pulled himself out of bed

"I'm getting you're pager" He laughed as he picked up his boxers and pulled them up his legs

"It's the lab" Derek said as he read Meredith pager "whose labs have you ran? You're not working?" Derek asked as he walked over to Meredith and sat on the edge of the bed

"Erm..." Meredith sighed as she lifted herself up and rested her head against the top of Derek's arm "... Izzie's, she has to have her blood tested... you know for the thing..." Meredith lied as she squinted her eyes against the light

"... Cancer?" Derek asked

"Yeah..." Meredith said as she placed a kiss on the top of Derek arm "I better go"

"Ok..." Derek replied as he placed his hand on the bottom of Meredith's back as she crawled out of the bed to gather her clothes.

**XXXX**

Meredith had left the on call room as Derek began to change. He told her that he was going to check on his patient in the ICU, so she was safe to collects Andrea's labs. As she walked down the hallway to the labs desk she saw Cristina standing at the nurse's station.

"Labs for Jane Doe?" Meredith asked the technician behind the desk

"Yes, one second please" The technician replied before disappearing to get her labs

"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked Cristina as she walked a few feet to the nurse's station

"I'm charting. What are you doing here?" Cristina asked as she closed her chart

"You're charting in street clothes?" Meredith asked as she raised an eyebrow

"Yeah. Owen mom's at the apartment so I'm avoiding her" Cristina admitted

"Oh" Meredith replied with a slight nod

"You never answered my question" Cristina reminded her and she leaned her elbow against the desk top

"What question?" Meredith replied swallowing a lump in her throat

"Why are you here? You have the night off don't you?"

"Oh yeah, I just... I had to do this thing..." Meredith replied nervously

"What thing?" Cristina asked as she picked up another chart and scanned the page

"Nothing" Meredith replied

"Well it didn't sound like nothing to me" Cristina scoffed with a slight grin on her face

"What?" Meredith asked surprisingly

"You and Derek in the on call room..." Cristina replied

Meredith's eyes widened as began to comment on her recent on call room date

"... Together" Cristina said as she crossed her fingers together in front of Meredith face

"You heard us? How?" Meredith frowned

"Yeah, I was going to get some rest. But the door was locked. Then I heard..." Cristina hesitated

"Crap" Meredith replied as she brought her finger to her mouth to chew on her nail

"Oh it's fine the hall was empty. So you guys still got it going on, since you're whole world war two reincarnation?" Cristina asked with a smile

"Dr Shepherd, you're labs" The technician suddenly shouted

"Yeah... Thanks" Meredith said as she walked over to the technician and took the labs from him

"So give me details!" Cristina laughed as she walked over to Meredith who was reading Andrea's lab results "Meredith?" Cristina said as she noticed Meredith face turn almost white "Hey are you ok?"

"Oh My God!" Meredith expressed as she continued to read down the page

"Meredith what is it?" Cristina asked with worry

"It's..." Meredith began as she looked into Cristina's eyes "... I gotta go" She said before turning and rushing down the hall

"Mer...!" Cristina shouted as Meredith disappeared down the hall.

'**Babble'**

_Ok... so there's the next chapter =)_

_You gotta love me!_

_So I decided to write you a loooong MerDer scene because... well I think they needed it!_

_And because it's the last they will be getting anytime soon so.... Yeah I'm not telling you what ideas are running through my head. But let me tell you there not good!_

_You are soo gonna hate me for the next million – trillion chapters... and for what I have planned I don't see this fic ending anytime soon soo. YAY!_

_But this story is about the problems of marriage. I hope you haven't forgotten about that... so things can't always be all happy and cheery for them... even though things kinda are now!_

_So... Everything's going to explode in the new few chapters... which aren't good!! But nothing will actually explode I'm talking meteorically of course. People stick with me on this Fic coz I have a feeling it gonna get good. I want this fic to last over the summer... When there's not grey's so it gives me something to obsess about... And you to read =) _

AND I PROMISE YOU! MERDER **WILL** BE HAPPY BY THE END ON THIS FIC!! **I PROMISE!**

Coz I'm like a huge MerDer shipper and I can't stand it when their apart! It kills me to watch season 2 & 4 and when I do I have to watch a bright and shiny episode from season 1, 3 or 5 after to cheer myself up LOL!

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!**


	23. Footprints In The Sand

Over the next few days Meredith had been noticeably quiet. Derek began to worry. When she was at the hospital she had been avoiding him as much as possible and by the time she had gotten home she'd spend her time with Abbey before going straight to bed.

It was early in the morning and Meredith was about to begin the start of a long shift. She sat on the bench thinking about the last time she saw Andrea, which was when she broke the news her. It was a hard time for them both. Andrea had asked Meredith to keep it a secret from the family, also meaning Derek. She found it so hard and painful to keep a secret as big as this from him. Derek had asked numerous of times if she was ok but Meredith just told him everything was fine.

"... So? What's White like?" Meredith heard someone ask as she snapped out of her day dream

"He amazing" Izzie replied to Cristina's question as she took a seat next to Meredith on the bench

"Is the sex any good?" Cristina asked as she opened her locker

"I don't know. We haven't..." Izzie hesitated

"You haven't had sex yet?" Cristina gasped as she slammed her locker shut and stood in front of Izzie

"Nope" Izzie laughed

The two women then caught sight of Meredith sitting on the bench staring down at her fingers

"What's up with her?" Izzie mouthed to Cristina

Cristina hunched her shoulders and walked in front of Meredith

"Mer?" Cristina asked, but she received no reply "Hey..." Cristina said as she kicked Meredith foot gently

"What?" Meredith snapped

"Jeez, who stole your puppy?" Cristina laughed

"What, no one I'm fine" Meredith replied as she stood up from the bench "Really I'm fine"

"Yeah course you are" Izzie spoke

"Seriously Mer what's going on?" Cristina asked as she placed her hand on Meredith elbow for support

"I'm fine... I have rounds" Meredith replied before swerving past Cristina and walking out the door

"That's odd" Izzie said as she stood up from her seat

"What is?" Cristina asked

"Her, she's all... I dunno" Izzie said as she put her lab coat on "... It's like she's not in there" She said as she pointed to her head

"I know" Cristina replied "I'm sure she will tell us soon enough" Cristina replied "Come on we're gonna be late for rounds" She asked before walking out the door followed by Izzie

**XXXXX**

Derek and Max stood at the OR board deep in conversation when he noticed Izzie walk by

"Dr Stevens!" Derek called

"Yes Dr Shepherd?" Izzie replied as she stopped in front of them "Hi" She said sweetly to Max

"Hey" Max replied as he leaned in and kissed her politely on the cheek

"Do you know what's wrong with my wife?" Derek asked out of the blue as he folded his arms across his chest

"Erm... No" Izzie said with a slight frown "She has been quiet alot lately. Cristina and I asked her what was wrong this morning but she shut us down"

"Yeah she's been doing the same to me too. Thanks anyway" Derek said with a smile

"Ok..." Izzie smiled as she patted Derek on the arm

"Thanks" Derek replied before turning around to look at the board once more

"So..." Max whispered as he leaned in towards Izzie "Its date night" He smiled

"Really?" Izzie giggled

"Yeah, it is. Pick you up at 8?" Max offered

"Sure. See you then" Izzie smiled

"Ok" He replied before kissing Izzie on the lips softly

"Ok" She smiled sweetly before walking away

Once she had turned the corner Max turned back around to meet Derek at the OR board. They both stood there in silence for a moment. Their relationship had blossomed beautifully over the past week of Max being in the hospital. They laughed and joked all the time and the worked in surgeries all week together.

"So..." Derek began

"So..." Max said as he turned to face Derek "... When do I get to meet this wife of yours? You've been hiding her away" Max laughed

"When she decides to make an appearance. She's been hiding herself away lately. I have no clue what's going on with her. When she's at the hospital she's cramming her schedule with surgeries, and when she's at home she's spent most of her time shut up in the bedroom" Derek explained

"Have you tried talking to her. Asking her what's wrong?" Max asked

"Twice. But I've gotten nothing out of her. And you know how those conversations go. She'd probably slam the door in my face. She's got hormones like moody teenager. Pregnancy makes her crazy" Derek informed Max

"Well that's what you get for knocking you're wife up" Max laughed, he soon stopped when he notice Derek wasn't laughing "Sorry, did I say that wrong?"

"No, you're right. It is" Derek replied as he patted Max on the back "I've got a surgery so, you still up for that drink later?" Derek asked as he walked backwards away from Max

"No I have a date tonight, tomorrow?" Max replied

"Sure" Derek said before turning around and walking down the hall.

**XXXXX**

Meredith stood on the bridge in the main entrance of the hospital overlooking the breath taking view of Seattle in front of her. She pulled out her cell phone and dialled the same number she had dialled about 400 times that day.

"... Hey Andrea it's Meredith again... can you please call me back once you get this message it's really important..." She paused for a moment before continuing "... Look I really want to help you, and I promise I won't tell anyone. You can trust me ok. Just call me" Meredith finished as she slammed her phone shut and placed it back in its holder that was attached to her scrub pants. Meredith continued to stare out of the window when she felt a pair of strong arms embrace her.

"Hey" Derek said as he wrapped his arms around her waist before resting his hands on her tiny baby bump.

Meredith said nothing. She just continued to stare out of the large window

"So you're ignoring me now, that's polite" Derek said into her neck

"Sorry" Meredith apologise but never moving from her position

"What's on your mind?" Derek asked as he kissed her neck lightly

"Just stuff" Meredith replied

"What kind of stuff?" Derek asked as he ran his thumb over her stomach gently

"Nothing worth telling" Meredith replied

"Mer something's on your mind. Something's bothering you, I can tell, and your friends can tell. Talk to me" Derek begged her

"There's nothing to tell" Meredith replied as she turned in his arms

"There is. I know you" Derek said as he back away from her slightly

"No you don't" Meredith said sharply

"What?" Derek frowned and he placed his hands on his hips

"You don't know me, you want to..." Meredith hesitated "Look just stop asking me if I'm fine. If I tell you I'm fine then I'm fine ok" Meredith snapped once more

"Hey!" Derek expressed as he placed his hand on her arm ".... Meredith, don't shout at me, I'm worried that's all. You're friends are worried too. We're only looking out for you"

"Well don't..." She replied as she back off from him "I'm fine" She insisted before walking off across the bridge leaving Derek standing there alone.

All he wanted to do was be there for her. In the past he didn't do such a great job of it. Now he was there, as much as he could be, he was there. But she shut him down; she was going back to her old habits. The habits she obtained during her 'dark and twisty days' as she called them, and no matter how hard she tried she was not going to push him away that easily.

**XXXXXX**

As lunch time drew close Meredith sat in the OR gallery observing the surgery below. All day long she had been holding onto her cell phone waiting for a call from her niece. She said there with her feet resting on the back of the chair in front of her for a few moments when her cell began to ring. Meredith's hand shot up and she flipped open her phone and placed it against her ear

"Hello" Meredith said as she sat up in her chair lowering her feet to the grown

"_Hi, it's me" the voice said on the other side of the phone_

"Oh my god Andrea, I've been calling you for days where have you been" Meredith said with relief

"_Sorry, I've been at the hotel. I just needed sometime alone, to think this through, you know" Andrea replied_

"Yeah, are you ok, have you told anyone?" Meredith asked

"_No, I haven't, you haven't have you?" Andrea panicked_

"No. Look we really need to talk"Meredith insisted

"_I know, I know" Andrea agreed_

"Look I'm free over lunch, why don't you come to the hospital and we can discuss this?" Meredith pleaded with her

"_No! Uncle Derek" Andrea snapped_

"Ok, ok go to the house, I'll meet you there in half an hour" Meredith replied

"_Ok, I'll see you then" Andrea agreed before hanging up the phone_

"Ok then" Meredith said to herself as she flipped her cell closed

**XXXXX**

It had been half an hour since Meredith arranged to meet up with her niece. She had driven to her house in record time. Once she pulled up outside, she walked to the front door and opened it. The second she swung it open a strong aroma of coffee filled her nose. She placed her car keys down on the table before walking into the kitchen where she found Andrea sitting down at the table with a steaming cup of coffee clenched in her palms.

"Hi" Meredith smiled as she sat opposite her

"Hi" Andrea replied as she stared down at her cup

"Andrea? What's going on?" Meredith asked getting straight to the point

"What?" She replied

"Why aren't you telling your mom about this?" Meredith asked sincerely

"Oh what am I suppose to say? 'Oh hey mom how are you, got any plans for today? Oh and by the way I have HIV' I seriously don't think that will go down well" Andrea replied sarcastically as she took a sip of her coffee

"Well no, not like that. Look this is a huge life change thing you are going through..." Meredith began

"... I know" Andrea interrupted

"... I'm just saying it's really huge and you don't have to go through it alone. You know you're mom will be there for you" Meredith told her

"She will go crazy with me, kill me in fact" Andrea replied

"She won't, you're her daughter..." Meredith began

"What would you do If this was Abbey?" Andrea began

"What?" Meredith frowned at sound of her daughter's name

"I mean if this was Abbey right now! If you had learnt that she had slept with some random guy, and then ended up testing positive for HIV three months later, Meredith what would you do? You wouldn't exactly be painting her rainbows then would you?" Andrea stated

"No I wouldn't. You're right I would be pissed. But for about a second, because then I would realise that my baby was sick... so sick that being pissed wouldn't help her, the only thing I could do for her is be there, support her, talk her down through the bad times. And that's what you're mom would do for you" Meredith explained

"You don't know my mom. She would freak" Andrea said nervously

"She wouldn't" Meredith replied

"Look I'm not telling ok. My mom, grandma, or Uncle Derek. No one" Andrea said as tears began to form in her eyes

"Andy?" Meredith begged

"NO!" Andrea snapped "No one. And if you can't keep this too yourself then just... I'll leave, I'll leave..." Andrea said as a tear fell down her cheek

"No, you're not going away where. Ok" Meredith gave in

"Ok?" Andrea sighed

"Yeah ok, I won't tell anyone" Meredith replied

"Promise" Andrea asked

"I promise" Meredith replied as she tilted her head down.

Meredith knew she was picking the wrong side, she should tell Andrea's mom about her situation. But she didn't want to betray her niece. But she was also betraying Derek. They had promised to tell each other everything one the day they got married. There would be no secrets between them. And if there was a problem then they would address it. She loved him so much, and she didn't know how she could keep this a secret from him.

**XXXXX**

Later on that evening Meredith returned home earlier than usual. Her day had been pretty heavy with patients, surgeries and one certain girl, she was worn out. Once she opened the front door to her house she heard the pattering of little feet running up behind her.

"Mommy!" Abbey shouted as she ran into Meredith who was hanging her coat up

"Hey sweetie" Meredith replied with a smile as she bent down to Abbey before picking her up onto her hip "How's my favourite little girl in the world?" Meredith asked as she kissed Abbey on the forehead

"I'm not little mommy, I'm big now. I'm five rememba?" Abbey grinned as Meredith carried her into the kitchen

"Yes I remember..." Meredith grinned at Abbey as she sat her down on the table top "God you're getting heavy" Meredith laughed as she kissed Abbey on her head

"Daddy and me were making pictures, see" Abbey said as she stretched across the table and grabbed a pile of drawings with her tiny fingers before flashing them in front of her mom

"Really... that one's pretty who is it?" Meredith asked as she looked at a drawing

"It's me and Andy, at Disney Land" Abbey grinned

"Oh yeah?" Meredith replied

"Yeah she promised that she would take me one day soon" Abbey grinned as she began to look through the pile of drawing she had in her hands

"That's great" Meredith said as she began to brush her fingers through Abbey's hair.

Suddenly she felt a soft tear leak from her eye and crawl down her cheek. She raised her hand up quickly to catch it before Abbey notice. Too late, as she did so Abbey looked up at her and watched as she wiped it away.

"Mommy, are you crying?" Abbey asked as she gazed at Meredith with her deep blue eyes

"No, I'm just so proud of you baby. You're so beautiful" Meredith smiled before kissing Abbey on the forehead

"It's because I look like you" Abbey smiled as she reached her hand out for Meredith's

"What?" Meredith laughed as she held onto Abbey hand

"Well eveerrrybody says I look like you... and they say I'm pretty just like you" Abbey giggled

"They did, did they? And who says that?" Meredith smiled as she tucked a piece of hair behind Abbey's ear

"I do" a voice said coming from the laundry room

Meredith looked up and saw Derek enter the kitchen with a basket of clean clothes in his arms.

"I say you beautiful..." Derek said as he walked over to Meredith and Abbey before kissing her on the lips tenderly "You both are" He said once more before kissing Abbey on the forehead

"Thank yoou" Abbey shouted as she kicked her legs back and forth as they dangled off the table

"Thank you" Meredith smiled as Derek walked past her and placed the basket on the island in the middle of the room

"You ok?" Derek asked with a causal tone, not looking at Meredith when he did

Meredith looked up at him for a seconded noticing his gaze was not at her but at the laundry in front of him. She opened her mouth to say something before closing it again and peering down at Abbey who was still staring at her drawings

"I'm fine" Meredith replied finally "Can you put Abbey to bed I'm gonna take a shower" Meredith asked as she ran her fingers through Abbey hair repeatedly

"Sure" Derek said as he looked up at her

"Ok" Meredith replied with a slight smile

"Ok" Derek replied before making his way over to his wife "I'm here for you" he whispered into her ear before kissing her cheek lightly

Meredith pulled back and looked him in the eye quickly

"Ok baby..." Meredith said as she diverted her attention to Abbey "Mommy's going for a shower, and daddy's gonna put you to bed ok?" Meredith said to Abbey

"Ok" Abbey smiled with her pearly white teeth

"Ok, kisses" Meredith said as she lowered her face to Abbey for a kiss

Abbey leaned forward and placed a wet kiss on Meredith lips

"Love you mommy" Abbey smiled as she wrapped her arms around Meredith's neck

"I love you to" Meredith replied as she placed her hands over Abbey's tiny back

Derek watched as his two girls I the world interacted together. When he first met Meredith in Joe's bar that night he could never have imagined this moment right now. She being his wife and giving him this beautiful product of herself. And Abbey was right about how everyone tells her she looks like Meredith, because it was one hundred percent true. Abbey had Meredith's tiny button nose, large pouted pink lips and golden blonde hair not to mention the small frame and ineffectual fists. But the one thing he was responsible for was her eyes. They were defiantly his eyes. You couldn't say no to them.

"Ok see you tomorrow" Meredith said as she pulled away from Abbey and walked out of the kitchen for a shower

"Daddy!" Abbey called making Derek snap out of his transfixed gaze he had on Meredith as she walked down the hall to the stairs

"What? Sorry sweetie" Daddy said as he turned to Abbey

"You were doing it at again" Abbey giggled

"Doing what?" Derek asked as he moved a strand of her hair that was out of place

"Looking all Dweamy at mommy" Abbey smiled

"Dreamy huh" Derek asked with a smiled

"Yeah, McDweamy" Abbey giggle, she suddenly went all shy and red in the cheek when she noticed Derek was sniggering at her. She got all embarrassed and covered her face with her tiny fingers

"Hey... don't get embarrassed honey" Derek said trying not to laugh "Hey..." He said once more as he gently pulled Abbey's hands away from her face "You're all red" Derek laughed

"Stop making fun at me" Abbey said with a frown

"I'm not, I'm not" Derek replied as he kissed her forehead "Come here..." Derek said as he placed his hands under her arms and lifted her up onto his hip

"So..." Derek said as he lifted his chin up and peered down at Abbey

"Yes?" Abbey said as she tilted her chin up the same way as Derek

"How's mommy?" Derek said in all serious

"I think she's sad" Abbey replied

"Really?" Derek asked as he raised his finger to her cheek and stroked it softly

"Yeah, she cried a little" Abbey replied with a curved down smile on his lips

"Oh" Derek said "Ok..." Derek began as he walked out of the kitchen turning off the light as he passed the door with Abbey still in his arms. Derek thought it was amazing how well Abbey could read Meredith. Even though she was five years old Abbey knew Meredith better than anyone. It's like they shared the same mind. She always knew what Meredith was feeling. It's so surreal to him, but completely mystifying at the same time.

Derek walked up the stairs with Abbey in his arms, turning off lights as he went along. Once he got her to brush her teeth he finally settled her down into bed. Abbey always asked one of her parents to stay in her room until she fell asleep. Derek always sat in the rocking chair besides Abbey's bed watching her with his 'Dweamy eye's' as she called them. But Meredith on the other hand always climbed into bed with her and ran her fingers through Abbey's hair until she drifted off to sleep, and that didn't take long at all. She would be asleep within ten minutes. Once Abbey had drifted off into a slumber Derek lifted himself up from the chair and walked out of her room leaving the door a jar in case she wanted to crawl into bed with him and Meredith during the night. He checked to see if the baby gate at the top of the stairs had been locked and then he made his way towards his room.

He entered and closed the door behind him. As he looked around the room he noticed that Meredith was still in the shower. He could see the steam escaping from the crack of the bathroom door. He quickly changed into his pyjamas and walked over to the bathroom door opening it slightly before poking his head around the corner. He saw Meredith leaning back against the back of the tub with her eyes closed. Her breathing looked steady and even. She was asleep, in the tub. Derek walked over to the sink and began to brush his teeth, never taking his eyes off Meredith. Once he had finished his teeth he picked up a towel from the warm radiator he draped it over the top of the bathroom door before walking over the side of the bathtub. Derek placed his hands on the edge of the tub and leaned over to press a kiss on Meredith's lips, as he did so she began to stir.

"Hey" Meredith said tiredly as she opened her eyes

"You fell asleep" Derek said as he stroked his palm over Meredith's wet shoulder

"Yeah" Meredith smiled weakly

"You're shattered aren't you?" Derek asked

"Yeah" Meredith admitted as she rubbed her fingers across her eyes

"You really need to slow down. It's not good for you..." Derek began "... Or our baby in there" Derek said as he placed his hand into the bubbly water and rested it onto her petite baby bump. _Our baby _Derek reminded himself. Another beautiful creation of him and Meredith.

"Come on" Derek said as he reached behind him and pulled the towel down before helping Meredith to her feet and wrapping to warm towel around her. "You need to get to bed"

"Derek it's 8:30" Meredith moaned slightly

"I don't care, like I said. I'm here for you. Now get changed and get into bed" Derek said as he kissed her on the forehead and held onto her hand as she walked away into the bedroom.

As Meredith got herself changed Derek stayed in the bathroom to empty the bath and cleared up the floor. Once he had finished he turned off the light and walked into his bedroom, where he found Meredith curled up underneath the covers. He climbed into his side of the bed and leant over her to turn off the side light before resting his head in the crook of her neck and placeed his hand on top of her stomach, and they both feel asleep in each other's arms.

'_**Babble'**_

_So I'm proud of this chapter... it's good. I loved the Abbey, Mer and Der part =)_

_Meredith's got a lot going on in her life atm... huh? Abbey's sooo cute... _

_Anyways hope you like it..._

_Don't forget to review, I really enjoy reading what you think. PLEEEAAASSSEEE!!!_

_I'm soo happy for Ellen & Chris about their baby news they will be great parents =) Congrats to them!_

_Until next time!_


	24. Look At Her Face

_**Oh I'm soo sorry about not being here.. my laptop is back! Woo.. don't worry I'm gonna do u a nice luurvy chapter teehee :)**_

It was an early Saturday morning, and the streets of Seattle were dark and quiet. Meredith's house was also dark and quiet. Meredith had trouble sleeping that night. So she decided it chill out down stairs and watch some TV. She had Saturday off work so it was fine. After a few hours of watching TV, she someone creep down stairs. It was Andrea. Meredith had offered for her to stay at their house until all she had gotten used to all the medication she had been told to take. It was like Meredith had another child to take care of. Every morning for the past week Meredith had been making sure Andrea had been taking her medication on time and in the right dosage. Meredith wished and prayed to the gods that Andrea would change her mind about telling her mom. But no such luck. Meredith with stuck with another minor to take care of. Mrs. Shepherd, Kathleen and Tommy had gone back to New York a few days earlier but Kathleen had planned on coming back to Seattle for Andrea in a week.

"Andy!" Meredith shouted from the kitchen as she pulled out Andrea's medication bottles from their small hiding place under the sink

"Yeah?" Andrea shouted back to Meredith as she lay back on the couch watching TV

The house was now beginning to light up and Derek and Abbey were still in their beds.

"Yeah?" Andrea said once more as she walked into the kitchen scuffling her feet on the floor as she walked

"Quickly take these before Derek wakes up" Meredith said as she passed Andrea a glass of water and her pills

"What time is it?" Andrea mumbled as she began to take her pills one by one

"7:40, Derek's alarm will go off at 8. He's got a later shift" Meredith said as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out some bread and butter "Do you want some toast?" She asked Andrea

"No thanks, I feel nauseous" Andrea replied as she placed her glass down on the counter and began to rub her stomach

"Yeah they'll have that effect for the first few weeks. It'll take your body sometime to get used to them" Meredith said with a slight smile as she placed her toast into the toaster

"Yeah, it sucks" Andrea replied as she sat down on a stood at the island in the middle of the room

"Yeah" Meredith sighed as she watched her toast warm up

Meredith and Andrea both remained silent for a moment.

"So have you heard from your mom?" Meredith asked as her toast popped up out of the toaster

"Yeah she called last night" Andrea replied as she leant over the counter slightly to grab and cup and the coffee pot

"Good" Meredith replied as she began to butter her toast

The room filled with silence once more for a few seconds until there was a sudden coughing sound coming from the stairs

"Derek!" Meredith whispered as she quickly shot a stare at Andrea

"Quick here" Andrea said as she picked up her medication bottles and handed them to Meredith

"Shit..." Meredith said as she swiftly opened the cupboard under the sink and placed the bottles to the back

"Morning" Derek said with a smile as he walked into the kitchen, still fully dressed in his pyjamas

"Hey" Andrea replied nervously turning away from Derek as she took a sip of her coffee

"Mer what are you doing?" Derek asked when he noticed Meredith had her head in the cupboard

"What?" Meredith replied as she lifted herself up and closed the door before guarding it with her legs "Nothing..." She said uneasily "I'm just looking for the... Nothing, never mind" Meredith hesitated

"Ok..." Derek chuckled as he watched his wife turn and pour herself a glass of water

"Coffee?" Andrea asked as she held out the coffee pot to Derek

"Yeah" Derek replied as he continued to watch Meredith drink her glass of water "Is she ok?" Derek turned mouthed to Andrea

Andrea nodded slightly "Yeah, she's fine" She said before taking a sip of her coffee once more

"Somehow I find that hard to believe" Derek said as he walked up behind Meredith as wrapped his hands around her waist before resting them on her tiny baby bump

"Derek..." Meredith warned him as placed her hands on the counter "... I told you I'm fine. Stop..." Meredith began

"... And I told you..." Derek interrupted her "... I'm here for you" he said as he began to kiss her neck

"I'm going for a shower" Meredith said before escaping from his grip and walking out of the room

Once Meredith left the room Derek turned towards Andrea who was looking at him cautiously with her coffee cup to her mouth

"Dude?" Andrea laughed before slipping off her seat "... I'm gonna watch a movie" Andrea said before walking out of the kitchen for the living room.

"What did I do?" Derek whispered to himself before pouring himself a cup of coffee

**XXXXXX**

Later on during that very same day, Derek had almost neared the end of his shift. He stood at the nurse's station writing his last few notes into his patients chart.

"Thanks" Derek said as he smiled at the nurse before handing her his chart

"Hey. Can I have the chart for 2233 please" Izzie said as she approached the nurse's station

"Dr Stevens?" Derek said as he placed his pen into his pocket as turned to her

"Dr Shepherd, hi" Izzie said with a smile as she opened up her chart

"How did your blood test go?" Derek asked as he leaned his elbow onto the desk top

"What blood test?" Izzie replied with a smile

"The blood test you had a few days ago?" Derek said

"I didn't have a blood test?" Izzie replied as she diverted her attention from her chart to him

"Oh, really" Derek smiled

"Yeah, I don't need one for another three weeks" Izzie smiled before placing her chart back into its holder

"Sorry... It's just Meredith said..." Derek said before silencing himself

"Well I haven't had one so..." Izzie replied as she hunched her shoulders

"No... Ok" Derek smiled before walking past her for the elevator

**XXXXX**

The same time during the day Meredith, Andrea and Abbey had decided to camp out in the living room with DVD's, sweets, toys and of course Abbey's pad and paper which she used to draw on. Abbey had decided that she wanted to go camping. Meredith and Derek used to take her camping all the time out on Derek's land but since Meredith got promoted to an attending, she was loaded with more hours at work, so they didn't have time. Since it wasn't really ethical for them to go camping today, Meredith had devised up a plan to turn the living room into a camping ground full of bed covers, teddy bears, toys and sweets.

"Andy can you go get the Ice cream" Meredith asked as she draped a large sheet over to parallel chairs for them to sit under while they watched a DVD.

"Sure. Where's Abz?" Andrea replied as she lifted herself up from the floor

"She's upstairs getting Dooley" Meredith replied as she knelt down on the floor and began to pour a bag full of sweets into a plastic bowl

"Are you sure she's been up there a while. Do you want me to go check on her?" Andrea asked as she stood in the doorway of the living room

"No, she'll be down in a minute" Meredith smiled before returning her attention to the sweetie bag she was holding

"Ok" Andrea said before walking into the kitchen

Back in the living room Meredith lifted herself up from the floor and walked over to the television switching it on and reaching for one of Abbey's favourite DVD's. Once the DVD began to play Meredith paused the film at the start and walked into the hallway before peering her head up the stairs.

"Abbey?" Meredith called up the stairs "Abbey?" There was no answer "Abigail?" Meredith shouted once more

"Hey, is she ok?" Andrea asked as she walked out of the kitchen

"I don't..." Meredith said shrugging her shoulders "Abbey?" Meredith shouted more loudly

"I'm fine mommy!" Abbey called

"What are you doing up there?" Meredith asked as she stared at Andrea.

"Erm... Nothing" Abbey replied

"Well hurry up the movies about to start" Meredith called as she peered up the stairs

"Ok!" Abbey shouted back

"She'll be down in a minute" Meredith smiled at Andrea as they began to walk towards the stairs

"I got strawberry, you're favourite" Andrea smiled as she waved the ice cream back and forth

"Good..." Meredith smiled as she bent down and began to fluff the pillows up on the floor "... All we need now is..." Meredith began before twisting her head towards to stairs quickly

"Ahh!" Abbey squealed from up the stares

"What was that?"Andrea said as she shot a stare at Meredith

"I don't know..." Meredith replied as she lifted her body up and rushed towards the stairs "Abbey?" Meredith called as she began to race up the stairs "... Abbey?"

Meredith ran into Abbey's room expecting to find her in there, but there was no sign of her.

"Abbey where are you?" Meredith asked as she walked out of Abbey room and walked towards the bathroom

"No!" Abbey said as she slammed to bathroom door closed seconds before Meredith arrived at the door

"Abbey what are you doing in there?" Meredith asked as she tried to open the door "Abbey unlock the now" Meredith asked as she twisted the door knob, trying to open it.

"No mommy, you can't come inside" Abbey called from the other side of the door

"Abz open the door" Meredith said as she tapped on the door

"I can't" Abbey replied

"And why not?" Meredith asked

"I'm not aloud"

"Abbey, please open the door" Meredith asked once more as she twisted the door handle once more

"Abbey?" Meredith asked. But there was silence "... Abigail Erin Shepherd open this door now!" Meredith scolded her

"Promise you won't get mad" Abbey asked, speaking through the tiny crack in the door frame

"Abbey!" Meredith warned her

"Fine" Abbey said

Once Meredith heard the door unlock she reached out for the door handle and open the door. She stepped inside the bathroom and saw Abbey sitting on the floor in the corner of the room hiding her head between her knees.

"Abbey what did you..." Meredith began before her attention was diverted towards a group of shampoo bottles lying in the bath tub covered in different coloured shampoo liquids "... Do?" She finished as she walked over to the bath and picked up a shampoo bottle

"It wasn't me" Abbey replied innocently

"What?" Meredith replied as she began to collect all the shampoo bottles from the bath tub "You empty all the shampoo bottles, where did you pour it?" Meredith asked as stared at Abbey

"I didn't do it" Abbey giggled

"Well who could have?" Meredith asked as she stood before her daughter with her arms across her chest

"It was Jerry" Abbey confessed as she crossed her legs in front of her and stared at her mother

"Who's Jerry?" Meredith asked

"My friend" Abbey replied with a wide smile

"Ok missy..." Meredith began as she walked over to Abbey and picked her up before setting her down on the sink counter "... This is not acceptable, and it's not funny" Meredith informed her daughter

"Jerry says sorry..." Abbey said as laughed

"Ok..." Meredith replied as she ran her fingers through Abbeys hair "... Where exactly is Jerry?" Meredith asked

Abbey stared up at her mother for a moment before pointing towards the other side of the room.

"You can't see him... Coz I'm his only friend" Abbey explained to Meredith as rubbed her little nose

"Oh... well can you tell your friend not to empty out all the shampoo bottles into the bath tub... He made a mess and now mommy's gonna have to clean it up" Meredith said with a smiled as she held onto Abbey's little fingers

"Ok" Abbey smiled before wrapping her arms around Meredith's waist as she still sat on top of the sink counter

"Ok..." Meredith replied as she lifted Abbey up and placed her on the floor "... Go down to Andrea, I'll be there in a seconded" Meredith said as she kissed Abbey on the forehead before watching her run off out of the room.

Once Meredith had finished cleaning up the mess _Jerry _had made in the bathroom. She went into her bedroom to change her clothes. She removed her wet Washington hoody, and walked over to the dresser to find a summery top as it was boiling at that moment in time. Once Meredith had found herself a top to wear she threw it over her shoulders before walking up to her full length mirror and wrapping her hair up into a pony tail. Once her hair was securely tied back she lowered her eyes to her stomach. She placed her hands onto her growing bump and raised her white baggy vest top up exposing stomach. She smiled to herself as she turned onto her side and began to admire her form. As she gazed at herself all her worries seemed to disappear. She was three and a half months pregnant and was looking forward about being a mother again.

"Mommy, hurry up" Meredith heard Abbey sound from downstairs.

Meredith giggled to herself before lowering her top back over her stomach and heading downstairs

"... Yeah he poured them allll... down the dwrain" Meredith heard Abbey say to Andrea as she walked into the living room

"So that's were all my shampoo has gone..." Meredith laughed as she walked over to Abbey who was sitting on the floor in the little _den _Meredith had made with a bed sheet an hour earlier. She sat down next to Abbey on the floor and rested her back against the wooden coffee table behind her

"No" Abbey lied as she looked at Andrea with a guilty face

"Don't ask me Mer" Andrea shrugged with a grin

"Can we just watch my DVD pleeaaasee!" Abbey shouted as she climbed onto Meredith lap

"... Ok" Meredith replied as she wrapped her hands around Abbey waist and pulled her back and cuddled her close "... I love you" Meredith whispered into Abbey's ear

"I love you too mommy..." Abbey replied as she turned her body around saddled Meredith thighs "... And my brother" Abbey smiled as she placed her index finger onto Meredith's stomach

**XXXXX**

Once Derek had finished his shift he returned home to a dark, quiet house. He hung his coat on took off his shoes. As he did so he suddenly noticed the mess that was left in the living room. He switched on the light and saw piles of blankets, sweet wrappers and DVD's lying all over the floor. He laughed for a second before switching off the light and before up the stairs.

Once he reached his bedroom door he opened it slight and peered his head around. A smiled appeared across his face once he saw Meredith lying on the bed cuddling his sleeping daughter. He closed the door behind him and walked over to his side of the bed. Derek climbed on top of the covers and pressed his chest against Meredith's back before leaning down and kissing her exposed neck.

Meredith moaned slightly as she felt the roughness of Derek's face on her neck.

"Hey" Derek said as he felt Meredith turn in his arms

"Hi" Meredith said with a smile as she placed her head into Derek's shoulder

"How longs Abbey been in here?" Derek asked as he ran his hands through Meredith's hair

"Erm..." Meredith said as she pulled herself up and peered over at her clock "... Since nine. She woke up and said she wanted to sleep in here so I let her in" Meredith began

"Oh" Derek replied as he sat up and wrapped his left arm around her shoulder

"How's your day been?" Derek asked as he pushed the covers of Meredith slightly to expose her stomach.

Meredith was wearing a thin orange vest top, which clearly showed off her protruding fourteen week baby belly.

"Busy" Meredith replied as she looked down and watched as Derek held the palm of his hand to her stomach.

"Really?" Derek smiled as he gazed at her stomach

"Yeah" Meredith replied as she continued to watch Derek's warm hand move back and forth across her stomach slowly.

Too Meredith things felt awkward between her and Derek at this point in time. She hated lying to him for Andrea. She wanted nothing more than to tell him. But she couldn't, she had made a promise to her niece. A promise she knew she shouldn't have made in the first place. Meredith was digging herself into a deeper hole as the days went by. She had tried to distance herself from Derek slightly so the temptation of telling him would ease. But it was moments like these when it seemed to become too much. The less Meredith said to him the better. That way there was less of a chance of blurting out this secret.

"You should get Abbey into her own bed" Derek replied with a slight sense of grief in this tone

Meredith knew he could feel her distancing herself. And she knew he didn't like it.

Derek didn't want to push her into telling him something before she was ready. But thousands things ran through his mind about why she was feeling this way. _Is it something I've done? Is it the baby? Is it work? _Derek thought to himself as he continued to rub Meredith swollen belly gently.He had wanted to ask her about the lie she had told him about Izzie all day but the moment he'd seen her lying in bed with Abbey, looking the way she did he pushed it aside.

"I'm gonna brush my teeth..." Derek said as she moved away from Meredith and walked into the bathroom before closing the door behind him.

Meredith sat up in her bed peering at the moon which glowed through the open blinds of her bedroom window. She then looked down and watched her Abbey sleep as the moonlight hit her little cheek. Meredith moved her hand to Abbey's face and brushed a strand of hair behind her petite ear. Suddenly Meredith began to hear water running from the bathroom tap. She pulled back her covers and walked around the bed before picking up a sleeping Abbey and carrying her out of their room into her own. Once Meredith had set Abbey down into her own bed Meredith closed Abbey's door and made her way into her room once more. She climbed into bed before closing her eyes. A few moments later she felt a familiar presence behind her.

"Night" Derek said as he placed his head in the crook of Meredith's neck

"Night" Meredith replied

After around five minutes of lying in bed together Derek decided to shoot the bullet and ask Meredith about Izzie. He wrapped his hand around her stomach resting it on her belly.

"Mer?" Derek whispered into her neck

"Yeah?" Meredith mumbled in replied

"How did Izzie's blood results come back?" Derek asked hoping she would tell him the truth

"..." Meredith remained silent before opening her mouth to speak "Fine. Everything came back fine" She lied

"Good" Derek replied

He knew Meredith was hiding something. But what? He wanted nothing more than her to open up to him. To talk, She was shutting herself down like she used to. _But why?_

'**Babble'**

_Ok so this chapter wasn't as good... I have this chapter I want to do... it's a big one... one that you guys have been waiting for. 'What do you mean waiting for?' do I hear you ask? Well you'll know once you read it! Anyway back to the point which was... oh yes... I needed a few little fill in chapters before this big chapter I want to do... Hope you like this one!_

_Abbey's a little devil isn't she? I've been portraying her as this little sweet thing... but you will soon get to know her mischievous side._

_Please review... I love to hear your thoughts n stuff... they cheer me up!_


	25. Authors Note

Hi guys... I just wanna say.. I'm soooooo sorry! :(

I have a lot of reasons why I haven't updated this fic in about 10 years.. lol

But I doubt u wanna hear them.

Well actually one reason is that I got promoted at work.. So I've been super busy!

Anyways I'm back..

I'm gonna re-read this fic, possibly twice lol.. Then start writing again! Coz I miss it :)

So what I'll do is I'll write a chapter or two so I'm well ahead! And start posting them..

It should take me about a month or so!

And I'll start updating again. :)

Thanks for being patient and not killing me over not being here! :)

oh also... iv changed my user name to 'aupnaahh' why do you ask? well because i was bored of it.. and i have a thing for saying Aup nahh to people at the moment :')

xoxo


	26. Authors Note 2 :D

Hey guys. Don't worry i haven't forgotten about this fic.

Iv been re reading it and noticed some errors. So im editing the chapters then im gonna add some more :D

Im gonna be giving you new chapters throughout the hiatus :D

:D xx


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